Do you Support Change of Surname/Lastname after Marriage

Hi Ladies,

I am starting a topic where we can get a idea whether ladies after marriage are willing to change their surname or lastname or they want to remain with their maiden name.
According to the Law in India ,it is not mandatory that the ladies has to have change her surname or lastname after marriage.
If somebody doenst change do you find it to be an uncultural ,disrespectful or misbehaved act ?
Can you please the advantages and disadvantages of changing the surname or lastname of the ladies after marriage....

Hope to listen more from you...
Thanks
Sudarshana

This one does apply to me . I havent changed my surname. And I dont plan to do it either. For some reason, i dont feel the need to do it. I feel I have an identity which is irrelevant to whom i wed. So I may differ in social believes. Those who do it, I have nothing against it. But I have seen most of my frends who did, did it to somwhat please their spouses and families. I for one may be lucky to get a family who doesnot bother too much about it.

Ria

Hi Sudarshana,

That's a good topic you have brought up..Well, like Ria, I too haven't changed my surname after marriage.

I feel it is a decision that varies from person to person, but sometimes it can be impractical. For example - if a woman has bank accounts and investments etc prior to marriage, then she has to follow up with all of these to make sure her new surname has been incorporated.

Furthermore, not many people know that the name change has to be made official, without which your new name is not recognized in the courts of law.

Another observation is that many girls today are more attached to their parental lineage, and would like to keep the name that reminds them of their father and mother.

Many of my friends got new email accounts because they wanted to have their husband's name on the title...Now, that's okay if you don't have to maintain too many accounts - I already had 5 before marriage, and have no intention of creating any more!

Just my personal feelings and opinions here, I would like to hear the viewpoints of others too...

Regards,
Sowmya

Hi,

I have not changed my surname after marriage, I don't believe just by changing my name I am not his wife and luckily my hubby also believes that there is no need to change surname.

I don't think just by not changing your surname you are misbehaving or dis-respecting the other person.

My joint accounts, properties etc... all have our names with different surname.

I also respect people who believe that we need to change our surnames after marriage because it is their opinion.

-Vidya

I didnt change mine... as everyone earlier explained.. its too much of a pain to change everything out there...

I just feel, you are who you are for 20 years.. why change it after you wed, yeah?

dear sudharsana,

Even i have not changed my surname.I feel it is convenient for all transactions.To avoid confusion i am maintaining this.
But people call me adding my husband's name.All documents i maintain my father's name as my surname.

I got married in May 2007 but till April 2008 my name was not changed. But atlast i had to change my name as it would create problem when husbands name different and mine different. I am looking out for a job change so till now in my resume also i was writing my maiden name only.

Still in bank documents and other important documents i had not change the name. Its very troublesome to change the name everywhere as everywhere lot of documents has to be submitted.

My email ids and orkut ids are same like before marriage and not wants to change at all. After all they are my identity.

Hi

IT will not apply to me..I will never change my surname after getting married.
I feel the identity which my parenst has given is the one and only identity,why to change that after marriage.
But in India still it is not a liking matter . IT is told that it hurts Male ego,but I personally fell Marriage is not blind , it is a eye opener,it does not merely effect on changing or not changing the surname.It all depends upon the individuality.

So here are my views

Manjeeta

Hi Sudarshana,

Really interesting topic. I did change my name after marriage and it took me a while to get used to it. But for a long time i really wondered if it was neccessary.
For me i moved countries and had to make my passport etc so all the changes came in the new name but i really did feel i left a part of me behind. So it was like new life new country so i did not have any problems with old accounts etc.

I wonder if it would have made any difference if i did not change my name? I don't know
but i certainly had a lot of fun with people thinking i belong to a certain community or certain region because of my name and jumping to conclusions. It just shows that people love to compartmentalise you and think they know you just by your name .

I think when you take your father's name as your last name it should stay and when the last name is a family name or community name then changing it is a choice. For getting married will not change who your father is and today women don't need to be identified or create their identity through their husbands name. But then its all a matter of choice and it should be left to the woman to decide and that is the important factor -leaving the choice to the lady.

cheers
preethi

Hi Sudarshana,

Nice thread. Here is my view. As Preethi said,

then its all a matter of choice and it should be left to the woman to decide and that is the important factor -leaving the choice to the lady.

is correct. In my house my 2 Sister in laws could not change their names even they wanted to do so. Because one was worked in State Government and another is still working in Central Government. They have many rules and paper work with their departments. So they are keeping their father's name as it is.

In my case, I changed my name but I got the same initial. My name is R.S.Sumathi
I have to give my full name. So I gave Ramaswamy (my FIL) Sundar ( my husband) Sumathi. So no problem for me.

But who got their pass ports before marriage, they could not change their names even if they want. or they have to under go many paper work, which is very difficult. Now a days girls and boys are getting their pass ports as soon as they complete their degree or otherwise, like our children who are living with their parents in abroad, naturally have their father's name in their pass port and how can they change their names suddenly after their marriage.

So we have to see practically and decide on this. this is my