Do you Support Change of Surname/Lastname after Marriage

I wouldn't say I'm against name change... it's personal choice. But these days I also feel that it's not necessary to change our identity that we've carried for so many years. I got my passport right after engagement and all my documents etc., followed with my maiden name. Now it's cumbersome to change everything. So I'm not changing my name. Also this name change has created a great friction between me and my ils... so it's sort of ego problem for me as well hee hee:) Latha

Hii, I don't believe in changing the surname /Last name after marriage. U just become somebody by changing it.we don"t have to show respect or luv by changing our intitials.its in our heart.-suja

Hi all,

What ever I write over here is my own perception. I would not appreciate the change of the Surname or last name. Leave the practical issues aside. As far as I am concerned in states like Tamilnadu most peoples last names are very much linked to their parent name. I strongly feel that they are the one who had brought us to this world and given us a identity and as a return atleast let us have their name as part of our name. When it is with people from other states where people have family name/their home town name/ caste name/ home name as their last name. Its again giving regard to their parent.
When people in european countries address you last name with Mrs./Mr. Which I feel priviledged and respected (only when they call me by my parent or maiden name) and insist them calling me by my last name.

Thus I dont support changing the surname/last name after marriage

i agree that it is a personal choice..i had my passport in maiden name before marriage and later on changed it to avoid confusions while travelling...we were sailing on ships and on the first ship, we faced lot of questions at airports/sea ports as to why we dont have a common surname...i dont think a surname means much to me anyways...because as such in south india most of us technically dont have a family name...it is either fathers or husbands name...so as long as my first name remains (which everyone uses to call me) i have no complaints...people who didnt have to change their names for any reason...good for them..there is absolutely nothing disrespectful in that...

Hi everyone,

It is a very intresting topic. I did change my name after marriage , but the fact is I never thought about this it because i guess i saw my sisters, sister-in-laws , everyone change name , so taking it as a must, i had no problem with it , but now as iam reading the messages by some about keeping the identity of the one who has got you in this world, thought you how to survive in this world and taken care of all the needs, it has actually made me think the least we could do for them is keep their name.
I think iam getting emotional now , but the fact should not be forgotten that it also creates big issues for the girl who is getting married which will be taken as disrespect and would be considered as a conflicting person.
coming from a marwadi family i think it would be a very difficult to take such a step even if wanting too.
i appreciate the ones who have not changed and also their in-laws and hubby's to support them.

Sudarshana, I will tell you my personal experience. My wife still uses her maiden name. That has not made any difference to us. I think this is a non-issue

I havnt changed my name after my marriage even i too didnt feel it has to be changed. At the time of my marriage my husband was working abroad and he usually sent me letters in the address my name followed by husband's name. But in all my replies i wrote only my maiden name.So he too followed my way. Otherwise it is a tedious job to make changes in all records. But i often felt that people want it otherway . Beacuse whenever i have my maiden name when i went to hospital or any place like this ,they ask husband's name and add it.

Hi there,

I dont believe in changing names after marriage. Right after my engagement with my hubby, he was asking me as what would my name be after marriage...I told him my maiden name and gave him a big lecture as why it should stay the same. He agreed to that and then said atleast among ourselves can my name be clubbed with his?...for him it was an indication of love. I was confused since we were not even married then. So he said he would add my name to his.... But then he just created an email account with our names together...where he added my name after his! So only for him, whenever I wrote emails, I used a changed name. And he was very thrilled. So I still maintain that. But for any documentation/official/addressing purpose, its my maiden name.
In fact after a year or so of our marriage my sil(hubby's sis) asked me why haven't I changed my name after marriage! I just asked her (since I knew she hadn't changed hers) have you changed yours...for which she didn't have an answer and nobody has ever bothered me from then.

Regards,
Hema

hi..
its a nice thread....i havent changed my last name as my pp and all other docs have my maiden name so i havent thought abt changing all the documents ....but this is a topic of discussion among my ILS nmy bil ....they keep asking me again and again ....when my daughter was born she was tagged as pabba girl manju which is my last name at that time my ILS took offense and were keeping on asking me y the girl is tagged after my last name and not theres....

i still dont understand what diff does it make its name after all....

I think most of us who have replied haven't changed their surnames after marriage. The same is the case with me. My husband and inlaws have no issues about the same. Infact, they understand that I already have an identity with my dad's name. Moreover all my documents can be consistent. I do not believe that we need to carry our husband's name as surname just cos we are married.

But I do understand under family pressures,some girls have had to change their surnames.