Do you Support Change of Surname/Lastname after Marriage

hi all,

i donot know the advantages and disadvantages. i did not change mine and my mom also did not change hers. i like to be this way.

looks like everyone who did not change thier surnames r writing replies to thread...

same boat i didnot change mine, but if my husband and my inlaws asked me to change i would do it gladly...

It does not make any difference who we r from within...

so girls be proud of u and ur family.

Skavi

Yes, I too didnt change my last name...but my reason was a bit different..if it was in India it would have been a bit different might be to change the last name...but here as we have to go back and change our lastnames in every possible document I didnt want to have that pain of changing and time waste...anyways most of my friends changed it when they got their citizen ships here...and some of my friends changed it as soon as they got married and came to US...they did tell me how difficult it was and what a waste of time..my husband also didnt ask me to change my lastname after we came here...so i didnt really bother much..

but above all...i beleive whats in a last name!! it doesnt matter at all....whatever it is supposed to be in our heart with love and respect tahts all..

Hi,

i have not yet changed my surname after 1year of my marraige life

i dont think it is bad if surname is not changed

Originally Posted by sudarshana

Hi Ladies,

I am starting a topic where we can get a idea whether ladies after marriage are willing to change their surname or lastname or they want to remain with their maiden name.
According to the Law in India ,it is not mandatory that the ladies has to have change her surname or lastname after marriage.
If somebody doenst change do you find it to be an uncultural ,disrespectful or misbehaved act ?
Can you please the advantages and disadvantages of changing the surname or lastname of the ladies after marriage....

Hope to listen more from you...
Thanks
Sudarshana

Its about personal preference. I didnt change mine. I have been married for almost 6 yrs.I may change it when I get my citizenship. My husband has left that decision to me.

Ms. sudarshana

In old societies the identities of women remained sewed with that of the family of the in-laws. So the changing of the name system had some relevance.

But in this time when a woman has her own identity and she does hard efforts to get their identity, the changing of that name could be a setback.

I do not support the designation of Mrs., too, for the married women. Does the men keep any proof of their married-ness in their names? Then for the women there should not be such system.

Very interesting topic!

I would say its a personal choice. I too have not changed my surname and I have my father's family name as my surname..and I plan to keep it that way. Although sometimes it does feel wierd, when someone address my surname to my hubby and says Mr...... Most people tend to assume that the wife has the same surname as her hubby's:)

Also would like to mention here that in south India after marriage, a girl's gothram is changed to her hubby's family...so now when we do some pooja or archanas at temples I say my hubby's family gothram and not my dad's family. One un-documented change which I don't mind:)

Regards,
Sihi

I haven't changed my surname after marriage either. And I don't plan to at any point of time in the future. My hubby is okay with it. But very recently one of my friends who got married very very willingly changed her surname at the first chance she got! It is a matter of personal choice I guess.

Hi Sudarshana,

Interesting thread.

I didn't change my surname after marriage. I do not support this practice, it is highly inconvenient as you have to change all the documents and more over on personal level I feel why only the woman is required to change her name.

regards

SHiva

hi,

I too havent changed my surname after marriage,
I am also of the opinion, of having this identity for past 28yrs, its not easy to just change it after marriage.

I also have a feeling of not being detached to my parents with having my maiden name.

It gives me a great feeling of having my maiden name and surname

Yes definitely in India i came across many doctors, bankers who always asked me and my DH to get my surname changed.

But I am very lucky to have a understanding husband who doesnt have any problem with this issue.

A small incident which I found very amusing, i would like to share it with you all.

I am working in an IT industry and in my company they wish my husband and children on their B'days with a bouquet and a gift voucher

My surname is Ghag and my husbby's is Dlavi....
It was my husband's B'day and since i havent changed my surname,
the HR dept send my DH a bouquet to wish him on his B'day with a greeting adressing my husband as Mr. K. Ghag

In the morning when he saw it, he had a hearty laugh....
it was quite funny
and he said jokingly.... how many places will I be known as Mr. Ghag henceforth??????

I just remembered this incident and felt like sharing it with you all

After marriage always wife is recognised by her husband's name and men have got to used to this custom, but when something of this kind happens it is really amusing and different, where husband is addressed by his wife...

Truely speaking I was happy down inside with that note on the bouquet
but dint tell him directly
But He could make out.....