Behaviour of Indians

Hi,

I agree with most of you here. When I first came to US, I saw many desis who made a conscious effort to avoid each other.

But soon I got a very good friend..who explained the way of life here to a certain extent. So, I was lucky in that. Infact her husband also helped us a lot by showing places around Bay area a couple of times. Infact I befriended a couple of other good ladies too!

But there were still other people who would talk only with americans (since they felt talking to desis was beneath their dignity...by talking to" goras" they felt an artificial elevated status.) It was pathetic to see some of them talk with their put on accents and trying so hard to impress the americans.Are they going to give an award or something? Trying hard to belong...!!

There was ( or should I say another set) who talk only with desis having GC's/citizens or people with own homes...! Initially, I was so shocked and sensitive. Then I developed a thick skin and took it in stride.

To this day, what I dont decipher is that why some desis hesitate so much to talk and share information. Why? What is stopping them? Do they also want the new desis to find out everything the hard way just like they did?

At that point, I made a promise to myself ...to be approachable and friendly..to this day me and my DH make every effort to help out couples/bachelors who come here for the first time. This really makes them comfortable and not so alienated. We really empathise with them...and share all the details with them.

And now to come to points written by Nandhu...about QUIXTAR! We too had a similar experience at COSTCO in California. We were approached by a desi couple (with a kid) . To my surprise, the guy recognized my dh and recollected that they had worked together in India...my husband also remembered him...and they talked generally.

After abt 5 mts, that guy handed out his card and invited my dh for tea the next day. We were thinking...my my..even now people are so courteous and hospitable.

But the next day, my dh was surprised to enter his home which was set up like a mini office with a white board and many chairs...suffice it to say...set up for a meeting. That guy had also invited many others. He gave a detailed account about this QUIXTAR and thier products...it was like high class BRAINWASHING!

From that day onwards, we kept getting calls not only from them, but also their seniors and what not persuading us to join them...we started avoiding them from then on.

As Nandhu said, we start suspecting even genuine people who try to be friendly after this bitter experience.

But now, we have prepared ourselves with good comebacks, in case we are approached by people from quixtar or amway!!

Bottom line is, meeting different types of indians....let us chalk it up to experience...after all..the world will be boring if all of us were the same...right?

Cheers
Krithika ( jithiks)

Very true Krithika... Its so pathetic to see those sect of people.. they don't understand.. End of the day .. you are either ABCD[American Born Confused Desi] or IBCD[Indian Born Confused Desi].. you can never be an American and dont lose being Indian too.

About the other sect with GC, homes.. they are bunch of losers... They don't understand its just some materialistic gain.. this is what I do.. when they start blaberring abt how the got their GC/home or wanted to hear mine and so.. I just say.. whats there to talk.. its nothing to self proclaim ;) That should do it.

Finally, We do the same.. for any new couple of singles coming to NJ and wanted any help/advice.. if its within our reach.. we try to help and make them feel at home. When we came here.. it was so hard.. there wasnt anyone for us.. but I make sure I give out as much as info as possible so they dont do the same mistake :) like we did...

Oh ...I wish Nandhu and Krithika were near me....

Originally Posted by shravanthika

Oh ...I wish Nandhu and Krithika were near me....

No worries :)

Whenever you are visiting NJ/NY let me know :) we can meet up

Hey Shravanthika,

Even though we are not in the same place, we can still interact thru IL...right?

You can drop in anytime you come to Virginia!

Cheers
Krithika ( Jithiks)

Originally Posted by shravanthika

Oh ...I wish Nandhu and Krithika were near me....

Nice one Nandhu....ABCD and IBCD

By the way, we saw this ABCD movie (not tamil!) long time back...i think Kal Penn was in that...did you see that picture?

Even "NAMESAKE" (Tabu & Irfan Khan) - a good movie...

Cheers
Krithika ( Jithiks)

Originally Posted by Nandshyam

Very true Krithika... Its so pathetic to see those sect of people.. they don't understand.. End of the day .. you are either ABCD[American Born Confused Desi] or IBCD[Indian Born Confused Desi].. you can never be an American and dont lose being Indian too.

About the other sect with GC, homes.. they are bunch of losers... They don't understand its just some materialistic gain.. this is what I do.. when they start blaberring abt how the got their GC/home or wanted to hear mine and so.. I just say.. whats there to talk.. its nothing to self proclaim ;) That should do it.

Finally, We do the same.. for any new couple of singles coming to NJ and wanted any help/advice.. if its within our reach.. we try to help and make them feel at home. When we came here.. it was so hard.. there wasnt anyone for us.. but I make sure I give out as much as info as possible so they dont do the same mistake :) like we did...

Hello All,

While Going thru all the feedbacks here, i found out that all these IL's have same concern About all Us DESI's as i have.

Frankly speaking, now a days i have started questioning myself about "whether do i have something wrong with me " that nobody feels like talking to us or even for that matter smile back to us???????? . We have been here in US only for last 5 months, but yet we don't have any friends. I sometimes feel very upset and get depressed over this since i am already missing my Parents and my country and above that i am tottally locked up at home the whole day till my Hubby comes from office.

By nature Me and my Hubby are quite friendly and Polite people. So its quite disheartning to see all these indians behaving so rudely.Not to mention these "NETWORKING PEOPLE" ooh my goodness they harass people Mentally spl those who are new to this Country. I Wonder how do they find their "Bakras" spl in Wal-mart aisle's.

We have been victim of Bad behaviour by my husbands own Bro and his Wife coz they took it as major ego Problem of we getting settled here . Now even though we stay in same city they don't have any contact or any talks wih us.

Hope we learn from all this and should be helpful and freindly to people in by all ways ,so that we could set an example.

cheers
vaidehi

Thanx..Krithika and Nandhu for your invitation...
Keeping my fingers crossed to see if my wish comes true......................

You are most welcome Shravanthika!

As i said before, we cannot generalise that all Indians living abroad behave in a certain manner...since there are always exceptions....!!

Cheers
Krithika ( Jithiks)

Originally Posted by shravanthika

Thanx..Krithika and Nandhu for your invitation...
Keeping my fingers crossed to see if my wish comes true......................

hi shravanthika,
i go with Vaidehi in this case.

Now a days i started thinking whether am i not a friendly person to talk? i get depressed at times.

in this 3 1/2 years i have got 2 or3 friends who are close to some extent. I have my own sister here, so i talk to her everyday 3 or 4 times. to my friends, i don't wait for their call but i call them once in a week, but most of them never calls back or reply back if they not available when i call, unless they need something from us.

but anyway we got used to all these things, waiting for going back to India

regards,
sreelata.s