Sumangali Prarthanai & Pondugal

Mrs.C

You have done a detailed job explaining the procedure.
Thanks to you !

Originally Posted by chitvish

Sumangali Prarthanai – Thanjavur Tradition

Buy a 9 yds saree in silk or cotton. The preferable colours are red, yellow & green.
Including the “ pudavai kalam “ there can be 5 or 7 ( odd number)

Girls below 5 yrs & girls who have attained age, but are not yet married, are not allowed to sit. The daughters in law of the house also are not allowed to sit as “ pendukal” - this varies with families.

Daughters of the house & any other married ladies can sit.

For the participating ladies, go to their houses the previous day evening, give them kumkum, haldi, oil, shikakai, vasanai podi & invite them to come.

On the morning of the day, wash the 9 yds saree & a blouse piece with madi (shuddam)after bath & dry.The main person conducting the function should not take an oil bath.

Put a big kalyana kolam in the entrance, put semman & tie “ mavilai”.

For the pudavai kalam – put a square kolam, (padi kolam), over that keep a palakai & put kolam on that.

In front of that, put a kolam to keep the elai. On both sides of the pudavai kalam put kolam for 2 elais , beside for elais facing N, E & next preference W.

Fold the dry saree so that the “ pallu” comes on the top. The corner of the same should face N. Fold the blouse & keep on that. On the saree keep the following:

A small mirror

Oru kavuli ( 100 no:s) vethalai

Plenty of kali paakku

Plenty of urundai manjal

nalangu manjal – (mix of haldi & chunnambu) on a vethalai

12 bananas

10 yds malli, kathambam or roses

Maruthani on a vethalai

A ball of haldi & water on a vethalai

Chullu vella urndai in a vethalai

A gold chain

In a “ kudam” – water to which cardamom powder & dry ginger powder are added

One sombu of panakam

One sombu of neer mor

Coins to give ladies with vethalai pakku

On the kolam in front of pudavai kalam, put double nuni elai, one overlapping the other.

Nuni should face N.

On other kolams, place elais & “ kudikkum jalam”

Start before or after rahu kalam.

When the ladies arrive give them manjal mixed with water, to wash their legs, apply & come.

Then give them chandanam, kumkum & flowers & ask them to take their seat near the elais.

Offer al items on menu to the pudavai kalam first & hthen serve clockwise to other elais.

Show “ doopa deepam” to pudavai kalam first & then to all ladies.

The “ conducting person” should take in the hand akshathai & flowers, sprinkle below the pallu of the saree in the pudavai kalam & pay your respects( in mind) to all the deceased sumangalis of the family.

Show karpooram to the same.

Now offer a tsp jalam to the pudavai kalam & to all ladies in their hands.

They should drink it & start eating.

Nobody should get up halfway through.

After everybody finishes eating, again offer a tsp of water to thepudavai kalam & move the pallu corner to the N.

One of the daughters in law should eat the pudavai kalam sappadu.

After meals the ladies should be given naeer mor, panakam & chukku vellam.

Then smear haldi on their legs & put nalangu.

Offer flowers, maruthani, chandanam & kumkum.

In a plate keep lot of vethalai, pakku, gundu manjal, coconut, kumkum bharani, comb, mirro, coin, 2 bananas, blouse piece – keep in their paLLU.

Give akshathai in their hand, do namaskaram & ask them to blless you.

After the person who conducts has eate, she must give the saree to a poor woman who also is asked to eat. ( I think this varies in each house)

Samayal:
Paruppu payasam - thayir pachadi - vella pachadi - vazakkai curry - avarai or kothavarai curry - poosani kootu - pitlai - mor kuzambu - thani kootu - kadalai paruppu sugar kosemalli - paasiparuppu savoury kosemalli - coriander thogayal - ginger, mango pickle - curry leaf thogayal - rasam - banana, mango, jackfruit - ulundu vadai - sojji appam - thengai sadam - lemon rice - kalathukku paruppu - ghee - curds - honey

Love,
Chithra.

Hi chitra,

Thanks for the prompt post. i now compared notes. we have 9persons inclusive of a kannika pon. Then all the mattupon have to eat from the elai in pudavai kalam. and the saree is always given to the first daughter of the house. and then she can give it anyone. (In our house my husband's athai had demanded pattu 9-yards for coming for mangili pondukal. so the tradition has become 9 yards pattu saree-either green/arakku only. and one pattu pavadai to the kannika pon). Mil used to demand that the pondukal take bath in our house. (It used to create a lot of problems of course...) Daughter in laws are not allowed to sit as pondukal.

Chitra what about the months in tanjore tradition. is it the same as palghat.

One of the athais used to say that in thier the husbands have to serve the pondukal. i am not sure but he told it is called some poo pondukal or something.

Dear Pavithra,
In Thanjavur tradition, DILs are not supposed to sit for the pondugal. But in Palakkad side it is the reverse & they must sit. The saree is always given to the eldest (usually) daughter of the family. Now a days, we give the other daughters also.
The months are the same for both.
The last you have mentioned - I have heard vaguely ! There is a tradition called Athisaya Pondugal, one called Poovadai panai etc. But I do not know about them. Previously, the pondugal would come & have a bath in that house. Now, because of space problems, that has all changed.
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Radha,
Thankyou very much. I believe in
செய்வன திருந்தச் செய்
Love,
Chithra.

Originally Posted by twinmom67

Mrs.C

You have done a detailed job explaining the procedure.
Thanks to you !

Originally Posted by chitvish

Dear Pavithra,
In Thanjavur tradition, DILs are not supposed to sit for the pondugal. But in Palakkad side it is the reverse & they must sit. The saree is always given to the eldest (usually) daughter of the family. Now a days, we give the other daughters also.
The months are the same for both.
The last you have mentioned - I have heard vaguely ! There is a tradition called Athisaya Pondugal, one called Poovadai panai etc. But I do not know about them. Previously, the pondugal would come & have a bath in that house. Now, because of space problems, that has all changed.
Love,
Chithra.

Dear chitra,

Thanks. again in our family the saree is given to the eldest and she can give it to any of the daughters.
When i meet athai i will ask more about it and post. yes i think it is poovadai panai.

love
shanthi.

Dear Chitra,

A very useful and relevant posting...!

I used to ask my grandma to write down the family traditions for Sumangali prarthanai, pondugal and the annual functions for the benefit of the subsequent generations. My childhood memories of pondugal are the marudhani, nalangu in the legs and the kolams I was delegated to draw along the wall ( perimeter of the rooms ) and the sumptous food, besides that there was no active involvement. All the details were taken care of by my grandma and mom.

After I got married, I am learning the traditions here from my MIL. I hail from a Thanjavur family married into a Thirunelveli family. For curiosity sake - is kari called poduthuval in palghat side too???

Thanks for the excellent posting. I am sure this will serve to be an inspiration for many.

-Gayathri.

Dear Gayathri,
Thankyou very much for the feedback.
I hail from a Thanjavur family settled in Madurai & married into a Palghat family. So the customs have reversed for me !
Podithuval is curry with coconut - our "thengai potta kari".
Vathakkal is called mezukkuperatti, upperi in some houses etc.
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Chitvish,

I am here after a long time. I was full of awe reading your sumangali prarthanai post. My SIL's wedding is nearing and MIL is plg to keep sumangali prarthanai. The notes given by you are far too spectacular, i think i can make a 'good impression ' on mamiyar by knowing all the details in advance :)

oh! how i missed ur threads all these days :) Thank so so much for being a pillar of support for all of us!

Purni

Dear Purnima,
Long time ! It is nice to hear from you.
Please do " bowl over" your mamiyar ! What I have given are typical Palghat Customs - but learn the minor deviations, practised in your family.
Thankyou very much for your nice words.
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Mrs. Chitra,
It was very impressive to read about the Sumangali Prarthanai thread. But one small request, is there a specific tradition for Tirunelveli side? My father's family were not celebrating Sumangali Prarthanai for the past three generations. My mom and other perimma's(father's cousin's wives) started doing it, but they followed the general pattern. I know they wont want to change what they are doing but would like to know if there is any specific method for Tiunelveli people