Why my friend (I think ) rude to me

Lakshmipav · Oct 8, 2015

Hi friends ,

though my my problem doesn't look severe am not feeling good about one of my friend.. Actually she is from my native n neighbor after she got married . My family n Thier inlaws r friends from last 30 years living as neighbors so very strong friendship between them (parents) .. I call her husband brother since we know from childhood .. Now we both of families r in U.S. I always treat her like my family member n friend ..
the prob is when she came to U.S left her a message asking her no she dint replied but I know she saw the msg .. After a week she said she will send me her landline no .. Is it like treating me like an outsider by giving landline no instead of mobile ..she never calls me bcoz she have large social circle .. I will be calling her once in 3 months ..is that she feels like am disturbing her even one small call I don't have a social circle or known friends here .. I msg so many times asking her about kids she never replied .. Once I liked n commented on kid pic like cute kid she immediately deleted it ..I congratulated on her kids bday she liked all comments except of me .. Am not a big fan of face book just I maintain n keep in touch with friends n relatives .. Once I can misunderstand her but not always .. Is it not rude looking someone's msg n not bothered to reply when they ask about your well being .. She never liked my kids pic on Facebook I never bothered bcoz it's upto her .. But where am I doing wrong ..? I have invited them to my kid bday party on India they came with family n said finally that y my husband is reserved .. He doesn't know them personally tren how can they expect him to be close in a party already somany guests r there .. I received them n spent time on the party ..Y she neglects me I feel really bad .. Do I need to really worry about her ..? Or am I over expecting from a neighbor friend ..

indoc · Oct 8, 2015

are you in love with this friend of yours?? seriously...
obviously she's is not interested in having any sort of relationship with you.. let her go..

Lakshmipav · Oct 8, 2015

Ha ha no dear am not in love with her .. If she is just my friend or neighbor I would never worried .. Since she is family friend am concerned.. If I sound silly in this point am sorry am not so sensitive but taking opinions ..

SGBV · Oct 8, 2015

Your friend is not at all interested to have you as her friend. You are clearly not her friend. Thats it.

It may be your imagination that she is your friend. Perhaps, she would have treated you as a known person with limits.

More so, no one likes to make close friends with husband's side of the people unless they are pretty close with in laws, and genuinely liked the other side. Else, it is absolutely normal to maintain distance from husband's side people.

Since your family is too close with her husband's family, and you are close with her husband as a bro... she may have been considering you her SIL. Which is not a perfect role to friendship.

If she doesn't like my comment, and ignore me in FB, I would stop commenting, and soon unfriend that rude friend... Why keep on bothering her asking her no, and likes? Are you crazy about her?

twinklingstar · Oct 8, 2015

if i would have been on ur place would have unfriend her long back.
we r already full of so many issues and problems why to take one more without any return from them???
friends are those who would stand with u in ur good and bad tiems....if she is not responding and reverting gives clear picture she is not interested.
i would suggest you to invest this time and energy in someone who really worth calling friend.
leave her and live ur life.....

kcb · Oct 8, 2015

How was your relation/friendship with her since begining (in India before coming to US)? Was she like this always or is she behaving like this after moving to US?

Whatever may be the case, people always change according to their convenience and comfort....so don't bother much about this friend....just leave her if she is not interested and don't think about her....

sing · Oct 8, 2015

Don't think too much, just stop thinking about it and stay away from her. Some people are like that, can't help

catwalk · Oct 8, 2015

If someone doesn't give attention to you or bother about you, just leave them alone.
You don't have to think too much about the reason behind. It is their problem.

( Could be, she doesn't like someone to be closer to her husband. She may feel like an outsider when you and her husband talk each other so closely. )

Ignore and move on with your life. You cannot resolve all problems in this world.

Lakshmipav · Oct 8, 2015

Thanks for clarifications .. Am not too close to her husband we talk in group only now n then like over Skype with her presence like entire family with kids . I will call her vadina n her husband as annayya ( that's how I used to call since childhood ) She is fine with it ..she talks really nice when everybody is there I mean personally .. May be some of u said could be true that since am just known from her husband side she neglects me .. No issues am fine n enjoying with my family .. As you said I have already stopped liking or commenting her post n unfollowed her rather than unfriend.. Am not so worried about her I have other friends n relatives in small no .. just want to know how to treat this behavior .. Got the answers .. Thanks a lot

Lakshmipav · Oct 9, 2015

She was nice in India we just know for 6 mon at that time she newly married due to same age group we r like friends .. Then they left us .. I used to work in blore..she got the job in same as my company we used to talk over chat now n then .. They sent few things like gifts to inlaws ( her mil) Which I carried from blore n gave it to them. After 3 years I got married n came us .. One more thing that last time when I went India j shared with her inlaws that we got green card .. Then I came to know that they r is visa prob .. It's been 2 years .. After that her mil came to us I called n talked with entire family to say hi .. That's it .. One day over fb she msg me like my mil wants to talk with you so u call me to my landline no .. I called n talked with her mil and asked if I can talk with her dil she told she left house n went to friend .. I didn't shared my gc news keeping in mind that they r is visa issues nothing apart ..