Happiness means to you....

The above categories may be taken differently by different people.

What seems to be financial security for you, may not be the same for me. For ex: I have some money saved in the bank, invested in a steady business, and also a few properties, jewels and vehicles. But I am not yet fully settled financially. Perhaps my goal and life style is different; thus I am still running after money (I mean working for an income).
But I remember one of my maid was saying that she will be perfectly settled once her house is built. She left the job the moment her house work is completed (a tiny house only with 2 small rooms in a village). She says, she can run a perfect family with her husband's daily wages.
She is happy than many of us for sure in this aspect.

A purpose to life. Again same as above. For us, the life purpose is our kids. But not for all. Some feel having a career is the purpose of their life. Having a pet, having to help others, pursuing their dream... It differs greatly. Now, just because X has 2 kids of each gender doesn't mean his/her purpose of life is fulfilled.

A support system is also differs depending on where a person lives, and what he wants.
For some, having extended families like parents/siblings is what called a support system. But for others, some great friends, colleagues or the neighbors fill the gap.
But that is not the case with many.
In fact, a reliable maid/nanny, a trustworthy driver, a corporate spouse and understanding kids are more than enough. They support each other for a stress free life.

So, it depends on what you exactly want, and what is available and how you make a bridge to fill the gap peacefully. That is called happiness.

 

Some people remain happy, despite not having any of those things listed out.
Some people can never be happy whatever they have in life.

So according to me, Happiness is a state of mind.

 

Happiness is an attitude. Doesn't depend what one has or do not have. The mental set up is needed. Yes, some can never be happy and some are happy and they never complain about life.
So, to me it is attitude. There is no end to desires, one desire satisfied and another one appears immediately. Good value system always helps in being happy.
Syamala

 

Again, happiness is a state of mind. For some, it is extremely important to have extended family members as close as immediate family members. For some others, it is better extended family members stay at a possible distance so that immediate family members can have a great bond of their life time without any interferences. It clearly depends on who are those extended family members and the relationship they have with the couple before and after their marriage. Plus, it also has something to do with the expected helps. Such as mom's help during child birth/after, and MIL's help as baby sitter etc... and SIL/Co-sis help as friends to share/care and discuss peer things.
But it all depends how is your relationship with them.

If you ask me... I would say, I am perfectly happy with my immediate family at any given time. I have applied for several jobs abroad. At any given time, I may be asked to migrate with family. In such a state, I would be perfectly happy to leave to any part of the world (reasonable places though) as a family- just the 4 of us.

Presently my mom lives with me. I will give her a choice to join us or stay back as my other siblings live at home country only. If mom makes a choice to join my bro or sister then I will be definitely missing her. I will feel sad for sometimes without her. But again, it doesn't stop me being happy with my family in a long run.

However, I have in laws. Now they have changed to be great people. But once when they were really nasty, cruel and wicked minded I never wished them to be with me. I always prayed to live miles away from their sight. Because that alone could make me happy.

Here in your case, if your loved ones are not happy with you, and they don't want to help you... then what makes you sad living without them?
I would have tried to understand your feelings if your loved ones are really nice, but they are unable to be with you. Then of course it makes you sad. But here, it is better to be distanced yourself with such unloving souls than mingling with them and regret for it later.

Extended family should remain as extended family only. You try to find happiness within yourself, your family and your life first. Why worry over some extended family member when you have your own happy family with you?

 

Parent's love for children and children's love for parents....it is a natural, unconditional thing. All desires are not bad. Having desires....nothing wrong with it. Bad desires....a big No. My guess is everybody has desires.....no one in this world is without desires. But they should not harm others and more important they should not harm us and should not become addictive.
Syamala