How to get back my money

mimi77 · Jan 27, 2015

Friends, we had a get together at our complex community hall and it was decided that every one participating has to contribute. Get together was great and all monetary matters have been settled amongst every one. after about a month, one of my friends asked me if my husband got back Rs. 3000/- from his friends. I did not know that he paid thru credit card an amount of Rs. 3000/- for some drinks. He is too decent to ask his friends for the money and has not even told me. Can I do anything to get the money back or should I force him to talk to his friends?....pls advice. My husband doesn't want me to talk about it......In many such circumstances he has been financially cheated, but he still never learns a lesson.

yellowmango · Jan 27, 2015

Dear mimi....Are you sure your husband is the gullible type or is he the type to pay for friends and be popular.Some people have that problem.
Either ways...you need to sit down and talk to him. If he agrees....Next time he goes out...tell him to leave his credit cards with you.

As for getting back the money...I don't think you can do much other than nag him.If he wants....he can ask his friends.You asking them will not look nice and may make your husband more defiant.

mimi77 · Jan 28, 2015

Thanks YM.....yes he is of the 2nd kind, wants to be popular by treating his friends....but in this case, it was a get together with equal contribution from each member and not my own party. hence they should pay the money back. Worst thing is everyone knows he paid the money, except me. I'm feeling annoyed and bad too.....

MalStrom · Jan 28, 2015

Since your husband seems to have a habit of picking up the tab for others, it looks like they have conveniently assumed it this time too. He will need to ask, though given his nature I'm not sure you can convince him to. I don't blame you for being annoyed. I would be furious too.
The only thing you can do in future is talk to him about being responsible financially. A few thousand here and there will add up rapidly.People are usually happy to enjoy others' hospitality, but what happens to your family's needs?

mimi77 · Jan 28, 2015

Thanks Malstrom.....I get none of his credit card statements also.....has a number of credit cards.....feeling helpless how to handle his irresponsible nature.....because of his friends and relatives taking undue advantage of him, I have literally stopped mixing up much with them....The moment he finds me a bit friendly, he feels free to do the same again.....his friends are mostly freeloaders and gives him a lot of importance.....I don't feel like creating a bad name for myself by asking for the money, only because of his careless nature....Nagging him too much is only creating an unhealthy environment at home and I have a seven year old kid who understands everything....I don't really want to create a bad image of myself in front of her, coz after all my daughter will eventually try to copy me....Hope you understand my situation.

armummy · Jan 28, 2015

Why not talk to party organizers to send out an email to everyone about this unsettled expense . If the understanding was that cost is to be shared , I see no reason why you cannot ask for it , I know it is late .

Or or you could ask the friend who reminded you to help out settling the expense .

nb25 · Jan 29, 2015

Tie up savings in investments. Ask your husband to have only 1 - 2 credit cards.

Agree with YM that asking directly for money owed won't look nice. Try to get your husband to understand. I feel you should let the party expenses go, unless the amount owed means a big deal to you. Lay the rule for future that any money should only be spent with your knowledge.

If you want it back, you can follow armummy's suggestion above.

Priya4oct · Jan 29, 2015

Like army my suggested, some people are so shy to ask about money (I am them too) but now I learned to ask. Ask your dh to send an email to all friends with detail mentioning total amount , copy paste from cc statement , to total number of people and everyone's part and mention your account number where they can transfer money. This worked fo us. When we did this for first time couple of friends didn't transfer. Second time I started sending them confirmation like if xx transfered , thanks for transferring note and copying others so they realise . Initially we were hesitant but now no more hesitation. We had lost more than 10k in this but now no more. Trust me, some people are who think it's organizers responsibility to pay and they are just guest.

JustAnotherMom · Jan 29, 2015

Priya4oct said: ↑

Trust me, some people are who think it's organizers responsibility to pay and they are just guest.
Click to expand...

Trust you.. I have burned my hands and yet o learn.