1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Friend trouble - your inputs pls

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by freesia, Dec 18, 2014.

  1. Dec 18, 2014 #1
    freesia

    freesia Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    315
    Likes Received:
    34
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    I moved to this new place couple of years ago. met this lady whose kid was also in the same class as mine. we shared the same route to our homes. so we started talking while walking back home. this like a year. our spouses have met each other for like 4 or 5 times in common get togethers. near the thanksgiving weekeend her husband had called my hubby at work and asked to borrow $3000 . My hubby does not know him that very well and also we don't have that kind of money to lend somebody. So he politely refused. he had again called a couple of times.
    My husband called me and told me about this. So while meeting this lady at school, i thought of asking this. before i could start she started boasting about the thanksgiving shopping spree she had . that they spent 600-700$ that weekend.
    This whole thing made me very uncomfortable. what should i do now? .talk to her like nothing happened ? she is doing it but i can't pretend. 2 days later she asked if my hubby is very busy and that her husband was trying to reach him. so she knows that her husband has asked for such big amout.

    the money matter is over now i heard. i am very troubled in continuing this friendship. is it okay that somebody will ask that much to people they barely know?


    Your inputs what i should do now?
     
    freesia, Dec 18, 2014
    freesia, Dec 18, 2014
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. lvarada

      Kid Has Trouble Making Friends At School - Suggestions Required To Make Friends

      lvarada, Apr 20, 2018, in forum: Schoolgoers & Teens
      Replies:
      6
      Views:
      1,586
      lvarada
      Apr 24, 2018
    2. kalcandu

      Trouble Making Friends After Marriage

      kalcandu, Jul 5, 2017, in forum: Friends & Neighbours
      Replies:
      1
      Views:
      1,218
      Umanga
      Jul 5, 2017
    3. saathi

      friend in trouble or perhaps causing trouble.

      saathi, Jan 8, 2011, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      5
      Views:
      1,862
      Dhaanika
      Sep 6, 2011
  2. Dec 18, 2014 #2
    MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,201
    Likes Received:
    7,021
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    IMO, you have handled it well. I would personally never ask someone to borrow that kind of money, but who knows what problems they had.
    It is good your DH declined since he was not comfortable with the situation.The lady is probably feeling awkward and is trying to cover it up. Continue to be polite but keep your distance.
     
    MalStrom, Dec 18, 2014
    MalStrom, Dec 18, 2014
    #2
    3 people like this.
  3. Dec 18, 2014 #3
    JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    745
    Likes Received:
    666
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Sometimes, yes people to try to get loans from people who are just "acquaintances" as well. But it is upto us whether you want to lend or not.

    In your case, what your DH & you did are good. If your friend brings it up, you may just have to say, you do not have that kind of money to spare.
     
    JustMyself, Dec 18, 2014
    JustMyself, Dec 18, 2014
    #3
    2 people like this.
  4. Dec 18, 2014 #4
    freesia

    freesia Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    315
    Likes Received:
    34
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for the replies. will be polite and keep my distance.
     
    freesia, Dec 18, 2014
    freesia, Dec 18, 2014
    #4
  5. Dec 18, 2014 #5
    preethiitech

    preethiitech Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,823
    Likes Received:
    1,617
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Consider that situation is over! They asked for money and you refused.. Finished!

    No need to think of it for every future incident... Just move with her as an acquaintance, If she asks again, agree/ refuse based on that situation..

    Acquaintances may or may not become Friends..
     
    preethiitech, Dec 18, 2014
    preethiitech, Dec 18, 2014
    #5
    1 person likes this.
  6. Dec 18, 2014 #6
    suryakala

    suryakala IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    8,638
    Likes Received:
    10,880
    Trophy Points:
    470
    Gender:
    Female
    Despite all the interactions, practically they are strangers to you, having no basis to share a friendship or relationship.

    Those who ask loan form strangers have exhausted all their known lending resources due to poor financial management. These people are known defaulters. Some of them have practised the technique of borrowing and not paying and not feeling ashamed about it.

    You are going to lose this friendship in any case. If you don't give you will lose their friendship for not lending and if you give you will lose their friendship due to default.

    If I were in your position, every time they want money I would politely firmly and pleasantly refuse to lend, saying, I do not have money to lend. Eventually they will drop off from you.

    You will be at peace.
     
    suryakala, Dec 18, 2014
    suryakala, Dec 18, 2014
    #6
    3 people like this.
  7. Dec 19, 2014 #7
    Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,760
    Likes Received:
    4,258
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    mm..not necessarily . All you can infer from the above is that she knows her H was trying to reach your H. Some Hs borrow without Ws knowledge. A casual remark 'hey my H couldn't loan your H the X amt. Hope you found another source. Sorry abt that" can make things transparent.
     
    Radhai, Dec 19, 2014
    Radhai, Dec 19, 2014
    #7
    2 people like this.
  8. Dec 19, 2014 #8
    freesia

    freesia Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    315
    Likes Received:
    34
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Actually I did that Radhai. I told her if the call was about the money he needed my hubby had already given his answer.
    Also in convo I learned that they wanted this money to avoid a $50 fine. totally weird.

    on a earlier instance they wanted to borrow $200 cash for cab fare bcos they don't want to pay the credit card charging fee . I was not home so didn't have deal then
     
    freesia, Dec 19, 2014
    freesia, Dec 19, 2014
    #8
    1 person likes this.
  9. Dec 19, 2014 #9
    Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,760
    Likes Received:
    4,258
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    They do sharpen your instincts to be wary of their kind. :)
     
    Radhai, Dec 19, 2014
    Radhai, Dec 19, 2014
    #9
  10. Dec 19, 2014 #10
    Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,299
    Likes Received:
    6,339
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    my brother in law "borrowed" money several times without my sisters knowledge from my parents. Its completely possible that she had no idea that her husband was asking for money from your husband.

    Eidt: just saw your post. She is not your friend.
     
    Rakhii, Dec 19, 2014
    Rakhii, Dec 19, 2014
    #10
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page