How I handled a mocking friend...

Hi folks,
I wanted to share my experience about how I handled a mocking friend....

There is this friend of mine who was always mocking at me. Once our friends group met at a cultural function. Most of them who had come for the function had dressed up traditionally with all traditional jewelry. I too wore a long necklace since we hardly have opportunity to wear this kind of stuff. My friends were teasing me that I am the only one in the group who is decked in jewelry. I laughed back and said yeah I wanted to wear this so I am wearing. This one is very special because my hubby bought it for me. But this particular friend of mine kept on insisting that no one else is wearing except me and I am making a comedy by wearing so. But I kept on replying that I really wanted to wear it so I wore. She said even if someone gives her for free she will never wear such big jewelry. Again I laughed at her and replied I liked to wear this so I am wearing. This went on for a while. I just brushed this but decided that I would wear what I want to inspite of this comments.

After few weeks we met in another party and I was wearing some pearl jewelry. She again started with my jewelry. I replied to her that I wanted to wear this so I am wearing. Then she kept on criticizing whatever I said. Like if I said something serious she would say something silly trying to make others laugh at me. This went on for a while and I just tried to be normal. I usually say funny things but not like pointing a person in particular making fun of them. This would be like everyone else except that person would be laughing. I made sure that I never got affected. Then we all dispersed.

The next day I just called her. I started as a usual conversation and told her that I wanted to talk to her and if it is ok to talk then. She said yes. Here is our conversation below...

Me: Yesterday the party went very well. I was very happy to see you and all our friends after so long. But just that I was wondering if I had hurt you by any means may be unknowingly did I say something which would have hurt you.

She said: Of course not... Nothing that I know...

Me: Oh is it? Thank God.... The reason I am asking you is that during our chit chat somehow I felt that you were picking at me very often. Whatever I said I felt you were making it as a big joke so that everyone laughs at me. May be nowadays I am kind of stressed out a bit and get angry very often. Maybe that is why I felt that way. I know you that you have been a very good friend of mine so far. But I was hurt by the way you were making fun of me in front of others. The other day too I could not understand what was so funny about me wearing what I wanted to wear. I was in fact wondering why you are making such a big deal out of it.

She said: Oh you know I was just joking in the lighter side. I was not knowing that you are that much hurt.

I replied: I agree with you. I know that you are not aware about how I felt. That is why I called you to let you know. I usually joke around and have fun with my friends but I make sure that it was not pointing to anyone in particular. Sometimes out of too much of stress the person may burst out at you which will spoil the relationship as a whole. I did not want that to happen because u r not doing it knowingly. Thats why I just called and talked to you about this. Anyway let us forget the misunderstanding.

Then I continued the conversation for a while as usual talking about other stuff and hung up.


By the end of it, I felt...
1. Good that our relationship survived.
2. Good about making the person know that I will not allow this kind of mocking in future.
3. If she continues the same, I can avoid her in future without any regrets.

 

Usually it works out in most cases... If it does not, you may just do the 3rd point... Nothing to lose except an insensitive person...