POSITIVE ATTITUDE: A HAPPY HEALTHY LIFE!
A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three
remaining hairs on her head, and being a positive soul, she said, "I
think I'll braid my hair today." So she braided her three hairs, and
she had a great day.
Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her
day, she saw that she had only two hairs remaining. "Hmm, two
hairs... I fancy a centre parting today." She duly parted her two
hairs, and as ever, she had a great day.
A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left on her
head. "One hair huh...," she mused, "I know, a pony-tail will be
perfect." And again she had a great day.
The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was completely bald.
"Finally bald huh," she said to herself, "How wonderful! I won't have
to waste time doing my hair any more.."
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BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE & BAD COMMUNICATION
The staff at an old people's home were puzzled when one of the
residents began gargling with TCP. They asked her why but all she
would say was that something had happened at the post-office. This is
what actually occurred.
The old lady, who rarely ventured out, had visited the post office to
post a letter.
She bought a stamp, and since there was a long queue behind her she
stepped aside. She put her change in her purse, licked the stamp and
put it on her letter. Despite pressing and thumping and licking it
again, the stamp failed to stick.
"Excuse me, this stamp won't stick," said the old lady.
"You need to peel the paper off the back," explained the clerk.
The old lady put on her spectacles, fiddled for a few seconds to peel
off the backing paper - and then licked the stamp again.
"It still won't stick," interrupted the old lady again.
"It's a self-stick stamp," said the assistant.
"Well this one isn't sticking at all - there's something wrong with
it," demanded the old lady.
"Well it won't stick now because you've licked it."
"Well I'm totally confused now," said the old lady.
"Just give it here and I'll post it for you," said the cashier, and
doing her best to explain continued, "These new stamps don't need
licking. They are self-sticking. They save time. They are already
sticky."
The old lady continued to look blankly at the assistant.
"Look," said the well-meaning but desperate post-office clerk, "Just
imagine they've already been licked..."
Which sent the old lady scurrying out of the door and across the road
to the chemist.
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ASSUMPTION DANGERS
Given the title (on the subject of buckets..) and its quick simple
message, this story is a good partner analogy to the rocks in a
bucket time management story.
The story illustrates lateral thinking, narrow-mindedness, the risks
of making assumptions, and judging people and situations:
A party of suppliers was being given a tour of a mental hospital.
One of the visitors had made some very insulting remarks about the
patients.
After the tour the visitors were introduced to various members of
staff in the canteen.
The rude visitor chatted to one of the security staff, Bill, a kindly
and wise ex-policeman.
"Are they all raving loonies in here then?" said the rude man.
"Only the ones who fail the test," said Bill.
"What's the test?" said the man.
"Well, we show them a bath full of water, a bucket, a jug and an egg-
cup, and we ask them what's the quickest way to empty the bath," said
Bill.
"Oh I see, simple - the normal ones know it's the bucket, right?"
"No actually," said Bill, "The normal ones say pull out the plug.
Should I check when there's a bed free for you?"