laugh today

Subject: FW: DON'T MESS WITH KIDS little kid walks into a taxi and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little Elephant.'' The kid goes on with several animals until the taxi driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunker and your mom was a prostitute?!'' The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a taxi driver!''

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

This one is for everyone who...

a) Had kids
b) Has kids
c) Is going to have kids
d) Knows a kid
e) Was a kid

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied, "What happened to my snot???"