Lesson

......I was teaching my daughter Ponnu during my short vacation recently.......

I asked her after she had come back from school and was doing her homework, “If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?”Within a few seconds Ponnu replied confidently, “Four!” I was so proud of her intelligence till then and did not expect this answer from her. I was disappointed.

“Maybe she did not listen properly,” I thought. I repeated, “Ponnu, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?”

Ponnu had seen the disappointment on my face. She is proud of her mental calculation normally but for my sake counted again on her fingers. But within her I could see that she was also searching for the answer that will make her father happy. Her search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make me happy. This time hesitatingly she replied, “Four…”

I could not hide the disappointment. I remembered that Ponnu liked Cheetos. Maybe because she is unfamiliar with apples and that is making her loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement in my eyes, I asked, “If I give you one Cheetos and one Cheegtos and one Cheetos, then how many you will have?”

Ponnu calculated on her fingers again. I was tense knowing that I was using a big technique to teach her. I wanted my new approach to succeed. With a
hesitating smile Ponnu said, “Three?”

I now had a victorious smile. My approach had succeeded. I wanted to congratulate myself and tell my wife and give her a lecture on how to teach kids and in a 10 day vacation how I succeeded on something she was struggling...........

But one last thing remained. Once again I asked her, “Ponnu, now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?” Promptly Ponnu answered, “Four!” I was shocked. “How Ponnu, how?” I demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating my Ponnu replied, “Because I already have one apple in my bag acha which amma gave today morning but I did not eat.”

I learned my lesson......but was too ashamed to admit it to anyone when I was home........but when I was back here, I thought I will share it here......maybe some of you could learn from my experience.......

This is what I learned..........When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect, don't think they are wrong. There may be an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion.