Vasthraa's Unwinding Corner

LIFE AFTER DEATH............!
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir," the new employee replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"

The Cat Came Back The Very Next Day...

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that jerk on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

THE WATER PISTOL......(The sweet revenge....!)

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."

Hi,
All of them are very good and you have really choosen well and compiled the best ones for us.
Regards
Shanta

I ve learnt...!


Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.

Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.

Eyes that do not cry, do not see.

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

A peacock has too little in its head, too much in its tail.

What breaks in a moment may take years to mend.

Hi sritas,
All of them are very good and you have really choosen well and compiled the best ones for us.

Thank you n enjoy n unwind

I ve learnt..........!


What can you expect from a pig but a grunt?

He who cannot keep silence cannot speak.

Fear may force a man to cast beyond the moon.

Don't let your sorrow come higher than your knees.

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.

God gives every bird his worm, but he does not throw it into the nest.

One should go invited to a friend in good fortune, and uninvited in misfortune.

Tendjewberrymud...
It's amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...

Read aloud for best results. Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the FarEast Economic Review...

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service"

RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"

G: "What?"

RS: "San tos. July San tos?"

G: "I don't think so"

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes,an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"

G: "No..just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say"

RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

G : "You're welcome."

Don't Mess With Texas...
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,

"Don't flush, don't flush!"

Dad said ...... well said......!

that if you think you are lost to just stay on the road, because you are not truly lost.

That road will lead you somewhere and when you get to where the road leads then you know where you are.

Knowing where you are is the key to getting where you want to go. At the time, I thought he was just giving me a driving lesson!