enjoy this...( no offence meant sardar..we all love you ji )

" An ass behind another ass behind that I and behind me whole nation"

Can you guess what this is...

A sardar teaching his children the spelling of ' "ASSASSINATION"

hahaha..

Hi Ambika,

just read af ew more of sardar jokes and couldn't stop laughing...

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wandering
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya…
Mechanic – Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar – Nahni yaar, dona side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question
Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sarder – Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

A sarder was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?
Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also its deginning !

Sarder returns book to library, bangs it on table & says – What a shit ?
“I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all”?
Librarian; So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory…

2 Days of powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar
where all the SARDERS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters….

Two sarder are driving a car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other
To check whether it is working.
He puts his hand out and says – YES..NOYES..NO..YES..NO

Sarderji tell me …what is the meaning of SMS ?
It means
S – Sarderon ke
M – Mazak udane ki
S – Service

Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyo bhej raha hai ?
Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karma ho to dusra tere paas rahe !!!

Meena............GOD...COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING...HAHAAHAHA....

BALLE BALLE.....

ambika

Meena,

I am adding one more to our 'rib-tickling' series


An American, Japanese, and a Sardar were sitting in the
sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The American pressed his forearm and the beeping
stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the
skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang.
The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he
finished he explained,
That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.

The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know
what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese.

He decided to take a break in the toilet. When he
returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck
and hanging from his backside.
The others raised their eyebrows and
said, "Wow! What's that?"


Instead of being embarrassed, inspiration struck his
mind. The Sardar explained,
"I'm getting a FAX. . . . . ."

Wow,I am still rolling and just can't stop laughing

Sardar: I haven't slept all nite in the train.
Friend: why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: why did'nt u exchange?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody to exchange in the
lower berth..

Sardar tells a girl "Come to my house at nite,
nobody will be there.............
Girl goes at night & really nobody was there.

A sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After
seeing the Form, he had gone to DELHI for filling up.
U know why? Form says " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered
huge loss.
Do u know what the business was? He opened a Saloon in
Punjab!.

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up - we must find & stop her!

Sardar: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why
others are running?

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED &
RETIRED!

19 sardars went for a film.On asking them why they
came in a big group of 19, they replied that the film
is only for above 18+..

A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
in a funeral function. Suddenly all relatives beat
him. Why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".

Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he
does this. Sardar: "I've been promoted as branch
manager."

Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner
should be light".

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to be filled in column
"Salary Expected". After much thought he
wrote : Yes!

Sardar and his family went for a party. He
introduces himself - I'm sardar,she sardarnee, the boy
my kid & the girl my kidney....

One sardarji Professor asked a plumber to come to
his college. U know why? Because he wanted to check
where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar
jumps from 100th floor. At 50th floor he remembers I
don't have a daughter! At 25th floor: I'm unmarried!
At 10th floor: I'm Banta not Santa

On a romantic date Sardar's girl friend asks him
"Darling on our engangement will you give me a ring?
He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?

A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was
laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have an Aitel phone but still Hutch
network is following me.

Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11 crore after deducting tax. Angry
Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs
back.!

A teacher told all students in a class to write an
essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except
one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this
packet.
Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could have
posted it....

What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any
spelling mistakes.

Sardar proposed a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr
elder to you'.
Sardar said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you
next year.

Why can't sardars dial nine-eleven (911) at
emergency? Becoz, they can't find the eleven on the
phone.

Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop. Sardar
says: Drink quickly.
Wife asks: why?? Sardar says: hot coffee Rs5 and
cold coffee Rs10.

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for
Divorce. Judge asked:
How'll you divide, you've 3 children? Sardar
replied: Ok! We"ll apply next year.

Sardar's wish: when i die, i wanna to die like my
grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming
like all the passengers in the car he was driving....

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't
read very fast.

Flash news: A two seater plane crashed in a
Graveyard in Punjab. Local sardars have so far found
500 bodies and are still digging for more..

A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji
replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man
says "Chin Yu Yan" and dies. Sardar goes to China to
find meaning of friends last words.
It is "you're standing on the oxygen tube!!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with
his eyes closed. His wife asked: what you are doing?
He said: i'm seeing how i look while sleeping.

A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
novels, but he always started reading from the middle.
A friend of his asked why he did so? "It'z doubly
interesting", said the Sardar. "to start from the
middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion
but also about its beginning.

Too Good!!

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 year war?
A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the
October Revolution?
A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its
name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT
Sardar gives up.

SCROLL DOWN NOW.......































If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.