Some management lessons

This thread is in good humour and no offense meant

Lesson 1:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking
to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply
of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 2
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small
rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of
a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked
at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating
some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the
tree.

Moral of the story:
BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the
bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the
frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing
cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!