>>Six Classic Extra-Marital Affairs.

>>Six Classic Extra-Marital Affairs.
>>
>>
>>The 1st Affair:
>>
>>A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
>>
>>One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,
>>they fell asleep and woke up
>>at 8 PM.
>>
>>The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes
>>outside and rub them in the grass
>>and dirt.
>>
>>He put on his shoes and drove home.
>>
>>"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
>>
>>"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my
>>secretary. We had sex all
>>afternoon."
>>
>>"You lying bastard!
>>
>>You've been playing golf!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>The 2nd Affair:
>>
>>A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked
>>about having a son.
>>
>>They decided to try one
>>last time for the son they always wanted.
>>
>>The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
>>
>>The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
>>
>>He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
>>
>>He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
>>Look at the two beautiful
>>daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
>>
>>The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>The 3rd Affair:
>>
>>A mortician was working late one night.
>>
>>He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and
>>made a startling discovery.
>>Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
>>
>>"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow
>>you to be cremated with such an
>>impressive private part. It
>>must be saved for posterity."
>>
>>So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
>>
>>"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his
>>wife, opening his briefcase.
>>
>>"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>The 4th Affair:
>>
>>A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
>>opening the front door.
>>
>>"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
>>
>>She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum
>>powder.
>>
>>"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
>>
>>"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
>>
>>"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I
>>liked it so much I got one for us,
>>too."
>>
>>No more was said, not even when they went
>>to bed.
>>
>>Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned
>>with a sandwich and a beer.
>>
>>"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for
>>two days at the Smith's and
>>nobody offered me a damned thing."
>>
>>
>>The 5th Affair:
>>
>>A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
>>
>>"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
>>
>>"One Cent?" the man thought.
>>
>>He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak
>>and a bottle of wine?"
>>
>>"A nickel," the barman replied.
>>
>>"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this
>>place?"
>>
>>The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
>>
>>The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
>>
>>The bartender replied,
>>
>>"The same thing I'm doing to his
>>business down here."
>>
>>
>>The 6th Affair:
>>
>>Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
>>
>>He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
>>
>>"There's no need to," his wife replied.
>>
>>"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your
>>sister, your best friend, her best
>>friend, and your mother!"
>>
>>"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison
>>work."
>>
>>
>>

Hahaha...heeheehee.... !
But that was the naughtiest post i've read so far in IL !
Vs

gud ones indeed u made me laugh :))

My hubby will luv these!

Originally Posted by madhurigupta

My hubby will luv these!

just dont tell him i posted it here, heheheheh sunkan