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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 28th December 2006, 07:14 AM
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Default because husbands aren't loving enough????

Why Do Families (And The World) Lack So Much Love? Mostly, It’s Because Husbands Aren’t Loving Enough
Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with the President Gloria and various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders). That was where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist Churches in the Philippines. We were talking about how to solve the problems of the world. Naks.
That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word about families that blew my mind.

He said, “Brother Bo, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, ‘Husbands, love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.’ Have you ever wondered why the Bible doesn’t say, ‘Wives, love your husbands?’”

Why?” I asked.

The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the family rests on the husband's shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my life verse) “We love because He first loved us,” we respond to God’s love for us.

That was powerful. I began to reflect on all the broken families I’ve counselled through the past 28 years of my life. Most of them (not all) were broken because the father didn’t love enough. And as I reflect on all the broken people I’ve counselled, I can see the same pattern. In most of these individuals (again, not all), I see the lack of a loving father in that person’s life.

Fathers, you have a pivotal role in the life of your wife and children. You are to aggressively, assertively, deliberately love them—and they will respond.

But the good Bishop was not finished. He said, “Why didn’t God say, ‘Husbands, submit to your wife?’”

Why?” I asked again.

He said that once that love is there, submission is the natural response. He asked, “Why is there so rebellion and disobedience among children today?” He explained that kids need to see their mother submit to their father as a model to follow. (We didn’t have time to talk about situations where the man of the house doesn’t love. Should the wife still submit? That difficult question I hope to answer it in another article.)

But let me share with you my experience.

I love my wife. I do it aggressively, assertively, and deliberately.

And she submits to my leadership. I have a vision for the family and I’m bringing my family to that vision—and she supports me.

But what does that mean in daily life?

That I’m king and she’s my slave?

Gosh, you should visit my home.

Because I love her, I want to serve her. And because she follows already my general direction, I realize that 90% of life’s decisions are about the trivial stuff. Because I love her, it’s my joy to say, “Yes” to her. So in reality, I follow her 90% of the time! She isn’t my slave. She is the queen I pamper.

That, my friends, is marital headship-submission in daily life.

It is with this note that I greet you a Merry Christmas.

May your families be filled with love.

Husbands, take responsibility in filling your family with love.

Wives, support and submit to your husband.

And together, we can fill the world with God’s love.
I remain your friend,
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 28th December 2006, 08:29 AM
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Default nice

That was a nice one. Tad patriarchal, but still worth pondering.
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Old 28th December 2006, 10:04 AM
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Default Very good

Very very nice article.If all women and men listen this and follow these lessons happyness only happyness we can see in the world.
tsseethalakshmi
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Old 28th December 2006, 10:42 AM
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truth!
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Old 5th January 2007, 10:42 PM
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Default Thanks Sunkan

I was surprised when I read that article; Why? Let me explain you:

It has been 30 years since my parents got married and 9 years since we got married. First let me explain my parents and thier family. Yes after reading that article I felt it is true that it was my mother who was and is the queen of that family though my father was and is the sole bread winner. And my mother has always projected that the entire family revolves around him. But on deep thinking it is the other way round and even after these 30 years they are going strong and steady.

Now coming to us personally it gave me a real spark and spank that my life is also just the same. I have been mistaking it and should be proud to have such a wonderful husband.

Thanks a lot Sunkan for posting that. It is another lesson learnt by me.
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RajmiArun
My Virtual Diary, Our trip Down South
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Old 7th July 2008, 09:37 AM
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Red face Re: because husbands aren't loving enough????

Well said...if all women submit to men for their love showered upon wld be a gr8 thing...!! But i too get the same doubt y not men submit to women ...though we love our dh so pationately n ardently...!!
Anyways that again leads to a big dilemma n a discussion further....
so better listen to bishop words ... hahaaa...
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Old 8th July 2008, 01:32 AM
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Default Re: because husbands aren't loving enough????

Good lesson....
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Old 9th July 2008, 07:18 AM
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Default Re: because husbands aren't loving enough????

That was a nic one!
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Anu Abhilash
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