sardar again...hope it has not been here

Urine Test -----------Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?" First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test." Road to Station ----------------Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done! The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!" Just a second -------------Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up. Crocodile Boots----------------Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs, angrily exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!" Photocopies-----------What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies? He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. Photocopy ---------What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet? He makes a photocopy of the white sheet. 30000 kms---------A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend tohelp him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meterreading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospectivecustomer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea. A fewweeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able todispose off his car. The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car whichhas done only 30000 kms! Why do Sardars have TGIF written on their shoes?Toes Go In First. Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?They think their picture is being taken. How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?It has a stamp on it. Why can't Sardars dial 911?They can't find the 11 on the phone! New House-----------Santa meets BantaSanta: "so have you moved to a new house"Banta: "No."Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".Marathon Race-------------One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race."What the guys are doing" asked the sardar." We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner."Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar13th Floor----------One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on thethirteenth floor building when a man came running into his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughterPreeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was inpanic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his officewindow. While coming down when he was near the tenthfloor he remembered he didn't have a daughter namedPreeto. When he was near the fifth floor he rememberedhe was not married.When he was about to hit the groundhe remembered he was not Santa Singh.Dark Room---------Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends togive him all their burnt out light bulbs? He justbought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.Relaxing---------One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A ladycame and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardaranswered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came andasked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the samequestion Sardar was totally annoyed and decided toshift his place. While walking he saw another Sardarenjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are youRelaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated andanswered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him onhis face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoondrahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "Sex ---Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.AIDS----Sardar Garbhajan singh went for his usual morning walk. At one junction he found a crowd. One man holding a syringe on one hand and the famous actress on the other hand. He threatens to inject the liquid which contain AIDS virus in to her body unless he is given a ransom of 10 corers of Rupees . Police men are helplessly watching. At this moment Garbachen rushed to the man and has a fight, he dropped the syringe, Police men arrested him. On the next day a ceremony is conducted to reward Garbachen. The chief guest CM of punjab while giving away the reward asked to the Garbachen " We are proud of you How did you show that much of courage even if you are aware of AIDS ?" Garbachen said "Sir I always wear a condom to avoid AIDS" Brain Tumor-----------There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!; Suicide -------Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?). Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!) Call to the Next Door---------------------Banta Singh dialed to talk to his dear pal Santa Singh "Is that 6545224?." asked Banta Singh. "No this is 6545225." came the reply. After thinking for few seconds Banta Singh replied "No matter, please call Mr. Santa Singh from next door Empty and Full Disks ---------------------Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Santa was having a tough time carrying his machine.Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk.See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB.Can't you carry even this much?"Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!