help me dear ladies

hello ladies,
firstly i wanna tell abt my self.
i am a soft natured girl.i cant hurt people.but my friends in the class r so practical.they just uses me for their work(girls).they never loved me
i dont have any friends from boys.but few months ago a boy from our class has become a very good friend of mine.i can surely and clearly say that he is a very good friend.expecting nothing but my friendship.even he is treating me as his sis.as he doesn't have sis at home.even i treat him as my bro.it has been a long time that i called him with his name.i use to call him anna.our fship is very pure.my parents also know abt our fship.they also like him.they also talk to him.but when i invited him to my home,mom n dad felt little inconvenience.but when i invited him again,mom argued with me.that what is the necessary to invite.i said"mom it has been so many days i saw him,so i did".then she was like "u r giving more leniance to boys.u r talking to him regularly by phone.thats ok.what will neighbours think if he comes regularly.u r abusing the freedom we gave u.teenagers like all these.but this is not good.so stop doing all this stuff."

now pls make me clear that
what i all did is right or wrong.cant i invite my friend to home?
for the others sake,do i have to stop my fship with my best friend?
cant a girl n a boy be friends?

urs
latha.

Dear Latha,
I understand your problem and of course that of your mother too....( I am a mother of a twenty year old myself). I think these friendships are harmless, only thing is that your mom must be worried about her neighbors, if they see you with a boy, coming home etc. Of course, once she decides that she should not care about her neighbors, then only she will appreciate your relationship....

Just listen to her about not getting this friend home. Since she has not said about your talking on the phone, or discontinuing with the friendship, you need not unduly worry.

Elders are from a different generation and it is difficult for them to understand and you should just be patient, thats all is my advise to you!

now pls make me clear that
what i all did is right or wrong.cant i invite my friend to home?
for the others sake,do i have to stop my fship with my best friend?
cant a girl n a boy be friends?

Hi,

I had dealt with a problem exactly like this and found an easy solution. If you really think that you have a strong understanding with your friend, then you may directly discuss this with your friend and he himself would avoid or stop coming. If he dint do that to prevent disrepute to yourself and your family, then you may reconsider your friendship with him because a good friend has to understand a girl's situation and I wish your friend will also do it without he getting hurt. Again that doesnt mean that you have to severe your friendship with your friend. A boy and girl could be good friends but requires lot of maturity to handle things.

These type of matters deal with psychology. If all the parents are matured enough to accept ur friendship, u can do that.
But if a boy and girl are talking to each other, society will take some hundred and one meanings. That too in a country like India this will happen usually.
by the way where do u live?
U can continue ur friendship, as Seyaa told, u've to ask him to stop coming to ur home. U can maintain ur friendship in so many ways. According to ur mother's view, any neighbour will think like that only. So better do it.
If urs is a true friendship or relationship what u said, he'll definitely cooperate u and will stop coming there. U can talk, send mails, chat... so many ways are there to do. We, teenagers, will always think what is wrong in that when u r true at ur heart. But we are not living all by ourselves. We've to think a little about society also. This is my opinion.

If I hurt u, plz, ignore this.

Gayathri.

prevention is better than cure
u heard this isnt it??
whn ur class girl frns u said r not gud and use u for their needs how can u trust a male friend
ok u call him anna etc etc
dear he isnt ur blood relation and my adivce is dont allow male frns to close proximity bcz ur female frns use u for their works isnt it...
always remember ur mother isnt an enemy to u wotever she says is for ur own good
tomorw whn ur kid comes to ur age u wil understand her problem rt now u listen to her bcz parents r always our best friends first then others
:)

Dear Chinnu /Latha

You seem to be very young. From yr. post, i draw the following conclusions:
1. you were lonely because you dint have good/ real friends, before this boy became your friend
2. you have developed a clinging attitude towards this boy because you dont want to lose his friendship too.
3. you are naive, because of your young age, to believe that this boy thinks of you as his sister.
4. by inviting him home often, you are trying to prove to your parents and neighbours that you dont care for public opinion - which is a typical teenager/adolescent/young adult attitude.

By all means a boy and a girl can be friends. But it takes a level of maturity to get the proper perspective. If this boy is your classmate, he must be your age. And boys that age are ruled by their harmones.Please keep this fact in mind. You may call him Anna, but he is not your blood relative nor has he grown up with you. To his male eyes, you are a woman and even if he promises you his intentions are "pure" as you say, he cannot prevent certain thoughts from occuring in his mind. Its not his fault though. Its no one's fault,; in fact, if you are honest, you will find yourself taking extra care to groom yourself too or talk sweetly, when you are with him! Its Nature . That is why elders feel there should be a lakshman-rekha when a boy and a girl are friendly. By all means, continue being his friend, you can use the phone, e-mails, chat during recess time at college. There is no need to bring him home often. Your parents know about him, leave it at that. As time passes, you may find shortcomings in that boy and u may not want to be too close to him. Same thing applies to him too. So give it time. Dont invest your whole self into it. Just treat him as a classmate whom you like, not as someone you will fight with your parents for. Its not worth it.
You have a whole lifetime before you when you will meet dozens of interesting people, have more wonderful experiences. So cheer up, make peace with your parents ( remember they are your BEST friends )and divert your mind to more useful things.
Best Wishes
VS

hi all,
HAPPY NEW YEAR
sudha,seeya,gayathri,radhavenkatesh,vidyasaradha thank u all for ur advices n i came to think of all u wrote n i am very happy that i got good sugestions.now i am clear about our fship.i understood that inviting home only doesnt meen fship.we r continuing our fship happily now .even my friend as soon as i told him the thing he said that he wont do things which takes me into troubles.
once again i thank u all for the advice
bye
latha.