Santa jokes
• Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo..
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?
• Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya
hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do!
• Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched
Off'!'
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!
• Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal
main ye andha hai.
• Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein
chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?
• Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur
hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal
kharide hain'
• Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha
ke dekha hua hai.
• Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!
• Santa: Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai.
Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai.
Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe baithi thi, name
plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata
• Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don't know...
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!
• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
• Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can't look at the menu also?
• Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chhod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.
• Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo.
• Santa talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se.
Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai.
• Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son..
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ?
Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet.
• Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest.
Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest.
• Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi
kar Lena...
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!
• Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.
• Boss: I'm giving u driver's job. Starting salary Rs.. 3000, is it
OK ? Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is
DRIVING salary?
• Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent,
understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!!
• Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya
Wife?
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!
• Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives
hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?
• Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station
par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!
• Santa bought a car on loan..... He didn't pay the dues, the bank
took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
• Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha.
Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo.
Banta utha or khud nachne laga..
• Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic
inspector stopped him.
Banta: I'm learning car driving.
Inspector: Without d instructor?
Banta: Correspondence Course!
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2nd August 2008, 08:33 AM
santa jokes 
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