Did You Do It ????

DAD - Son, come in here, we need to talk.

SON - What''s up, Dad?

DAD - There''s a scratch down the side of the car. Did you
do it?

SON - I don''t believe; if I understand the definition of "scratch
the car"; that I can say, truthfully,that I scratched
the car.

DAD - Well, it wasn''t there yesterday, and you drove the
car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How
can you explain the scratch?

SON - Well, as I''ve said before, I have no recollection
of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take
the car out last night, I did not scratch it.

DAD - But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you
back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway,
heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine
the car, and then drive away. So again I''ll ask you, yes
or no, did you scratch the car?

SON - Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove
I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean
did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier
statement, that I did not scratch the car.

DAD - Are you trying to tell me you didn''t drive the car
into the mailbox?

SON - Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car
into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car,
and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though
that was clearly not my intent.

DAD - So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?

SON - No sir, that''s not my statement. I''ll refer you back
to my original statement that I did not scratch the car.

DAD - But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did
get scratched as a result of this contact?

SON - Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.

DAD - So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch
the car?

SON - No. No, that''s not correct. Your question was "Did
I scratch the car?" From a strict legal definition,
as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not
scratch the car... the mailbox did... I was merely present
when the scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when
you asked "Did I scratch the car" was legally
correct, although I did not volunteer information.

DAD - Where in the heck did you learn to be such a liar?

SON - From The President of the United States.

One more on The President Of the US of A.
(From the internet)

----
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,
“You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to
sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says. “Welcome
to heaven!”

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?”
Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.” Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few
strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!”

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and
says, “Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?”
George W. looks bewildered and says, “Who are Einstein and Picasso?”
Saint Peter sighs and says, “Come on in, George.”
--

Cheers!
Lakshmi