fathers are good ?????????????????????????

Sent: Friday, June 09, 2006 10:42 AM
Subject: Fathers are good.......


> Fathers Are Good at Telling Tall Tales
> By Jim Hornbeck
>
> I thought I would share with you a
father's
> greatest fear: answering a five-year-old
child's
> question of "Where do babies come from?"
> Even though I've reached an age at which I
could
> be a grandpa (a young and virile one, I might
add), it
> doesn't seem that it's been more than twenty
years
> since I gave the "birds and bees" speech.
> Because I did such a magnificent job of
bungling
> my first attempt, my wife didn't entrust me
with that
> chore a second time.
> Although time has a way of mercifully
erasing
> embarrassing moments from memory, I can recall,
with
> depressing clarity, the circumstances of my
father-son
> talk.
> One night while Nancy and I were watching
"All in
> the Family," she said calmly, "Jim, I think you
should
> find time to tell Shawn about the facts of
life.
> Soon."
> "Aw, Honey," I whined, "the little guy is
too
> young for that sort of thing."
> "I don't know about that." She smiled and
raised
> an eyebrow. "Yesterday, Shawn wanted to know
if he
> could trade his G.I. Joe for a Raquel Welch."
> "They don't make Raquel Welch dolls, do
they?" I
> asked.
> "No," she said, "but he didn't want a
doll, he
> wanted Raquel Welch. THE Raquel Welch!"
> I cleared my throat several times,
fidgeted quite
> a bit and finally said, "Wellll . . . well,
Honey, I
> guess you're right, but he's so young."
> "Kids mature faster nowadays," she said
> comfortingly. "The curse of television and
movie
> previews, I suppose."
> "I better do it now and get it over with,"
I
> said.
> If I remember correctly, our little talk
ended
> with ". . . and so you see, an Indian shoots an
arrow
> into the sky. If it lands in an oyster bed,
the mommy
> will have a boy. If it lands in a strawberry
patch,
> she'll have a girl."
> "Then does the mommy have to eat the
oyster?"
> asked Shawn.
> "Ummm . . . ahhh . . . yeah, sure. And
that's
> probably why there are more girls than boys," I
said.
> Suddenly, the bedroom door swung open.
"Jim, JIM
> HORNBECK! How could you tell a story like
THAT?"
> shouted Nancy. "Why, that's the most
ridiculous thing
> I've ever heard."
> "Mommy," said Shawn, "don't be mad. I
knew it
> was just one of Daddy's stories."
> "You did?" I said, overcome with relief.
> "Sure," said Shawn, "Mikey already told me
where
> babies come from."
> "He did?" we chorused.
> "What really happens," he continued, "is a
man
> and a woman go to Hollywood and get married.
After
> they do a bunch of kissing and hugging, they
have a
> party and get lots of presents."
> "Oh, good grief," sighed Nancy.
> "And two of the presents are catalogs."
> "What?" we chorused again.
> "Then they choose a boy baby from Sears,"
said
> Shawn, "or a girl baby from JC Penney. That's
what
> Mikey said."
> "Who told him that?" I asked.
> "His dad," said Shawn.
> Nancy frowned. "Oyster beds and catalogs.
Now,
> where would you men ever learn stories like
that!"
> I smiled sheepishly and said, "From our
fathers,
> of course."
>
> regards sunkan