penalties are for perjury.....

JOKE: penalties are for perjury


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy."

~ Henry Kissinger

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A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' station saying:
"Remember, the first five minutes of a human
being's life are the most dangerous."

Underneath, a nurse had written:
"The last five are pretty risky, too!"

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Mental Problem - Common Sense Approach

A psychiatrist is doing rounds in his asylum with a couple of students. They look in on one patient and the psychiatrist says to his students,

"Sometimes, this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bizet opera, but today, as you can see from his goose stepping, he thinks he's the World War II head of the Nazi Luftwaffe. What condition do you think he's suffering from?"

The first student replies, "Is he a paranoid schizophrenic with a multiple personality disorder?"

The second student says, "No, I think he just doesn't know whether he's Carmen or Goering."

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Prosecutor: "Did you kill the victim?"

Defendant: "No, I did not."

Prosecutor: "Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?"

Defendant: "Well, they're a lot better than the penalty for murder."