Wisdom of Life (Tongue in cheek)

ZEN AND THE WISDOM OF LIFE

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.

Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.

Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't
getting any.

4. No one is listening until you fart.

5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.

10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.

11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

12. There are two theories about arguing with women.
Neither one works.

13. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it.

14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Wow ! Habibi That was simply hilarious all the way .

All got equal scores!!

Had loads of fun ....began chuckling and ended up roaring with laughter..

still can't STOP!!
I'm still mopping my eyes from the tears that ran down with all the laughing !

Hope nobody from the Zen School of Philosophy will hear!

warm regards
PAULINA