Wives Are Knives!

"Something About Wives"


My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
met.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
-Milton Berle

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was
water in the carburetor."
I asked her , "Where's the car?"
She replied,"In the lake."
-Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I
was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
like to interrupt her.

A man said his credit car d was stolen but he decided
not to
report it since the thief was spending much less than
his wife did.

;Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is
finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa , a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

The n there was a man who said, "I never knew what real

happiness was until I got married; then it was too
late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the
friend.
"A billionaire." she replied,

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over
experience.

It' s not true that married men live longer than single
men.
It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life Thinking they had no faults at all.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such
a man.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.

Varalotti

That is

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life Thinking they had no faults at all.
We know, how correct, it is, Meena !
Man, faultless - I can't stop laughing !
Love & regards,
Chithra.

let them have fun Chitra, we secretly know what it is..
I do have one wish - to see a faultless man in my life????
and I know for sure this wish will never be fulfilled.... not even in heaven!!!

Dear Meena,
Sorry for posting your personal forward to me. But I know you will never post this, so I did it.
As to your desire of meeting a faultless man, I prayed God fervently that this good, faultless lady should meet a faultless man, lest the entire masculine gender will be put to shame. She (God is beyond gender, so why dont we call her She) told me,
'Sridhar, your prayers will be answered. I have millions of faultless men but they can be seen only by those women who are faultless.
Now howzzatt?
sridhar

He ( God is beyond gender, so why don't we call him He?) he told me" Chithra - A faultness woman is just perfect ! So she need not go to a man & get into the " fault syndrome " at all ! So I never tell the men that you exist at all ! Hence their false notion that you don't exist !!!!
Anonymous, again !

That's for the FAULTLESS WOMAN! whom we all know!


By the way Sridhar, where did u get the title WIVES ARE KNIVES! I don't see any kathi vettu (knife mark) on you from your wife....i mean NOT YET! So why this MEAN title.....trying to get even is it?
So sad our president is on holiday ,but our secretary has pitched in modestly !

After all you have called WIVES AS KNIVES, so how can we disappoint you....but u better take cover before all the KNIVES START FLYING IN UR DIRECTION!...we are giving fair warning!

Sudha, First things first. Women are on my side. For the title and the forwarded message came from a woman I admire very much.

Doesn't the title have a musical quality to it? Anything that contains indisputable truth has that musical quality and is pleasing to the years.

As to vettukkayam on my face, I am not that stupid to let my wife know about it.

My God, you people really form an association for this purpose, with a President, Secretary and All?
Good God!
Thank you for the 'fair warning' but knowing your markmanship that is not necessary. ha ha ha
sridhar

Sridhar ,
Maybe women are on your side...but not the ones who are WIVES.... and YOU CHANGED THE TITLE, not your friend!


By the way maybe "but knowing your markmanship that is not necessary"
you don't know ...."MARKWOMANSHIP " obviously! And Chitra has already proved that she is PERFECT,FAULTLESS and i am sure she will FIND HER TARGET!

Well Chitra, hope you are listening, its your turn !

Sudha,
All women who are on my side are themselves wives, mothers, sisters and daughters.

As to your markWomanship well, I can be in peace. Attention, All MarksWomen, Just aim your knives at me but ask your husbands to be at least a mile away, lest they should be hurt.

Honestly the title also came from my woman friend who is a good wife and a good lady.
But we will have to give the angel her due. (A Writer is good in usig euphemisms)MarkWomanship is a remarkable term.
As to Chitraji aiming at her target ...... will she be aiming with Microwave or Microsoft .....
ha ha ha
sridhar

Dear Sudha,
I am too naive to even understand what you & Sri Varalotti Sir are " fighting about" with knives, of all things ! I meekly accept that I am a woman full of imperfections & faults !!!! I am living with a faultless man who always finds faults with me !
You both fight & poor me may end up with vettukayam of the three of us !
varalotti sir,knife ellaam inimel post pannaathengo, sir !
love & regards,
Chithra.