College Days

Prof: Can you tell me anything about the great chemists of the 17th century?
Student: Yhey're all dead sir.


* John: I got into trouble with the professor today
Shawn: How?
John: Well, he said that all questions can be answered by yes or no if asked correctly. Then he asked someone to ask him something he couldn't, so I asked him if he'd stopped beating his wife.

* "I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
* First student: The dean's saying that he's going to stop smoking in the college
Second student: Huh! next he'll tell us to stop it too!

* Did you hear about the absent minded professor who kissed the door and slammed his wife?

* Once in a hostel, a party was going on too loud. Soon a professor sent a peon to the room. The peon arrived and said "Could you guys turn down the volume? The professor next room says he can't read."
"Tell him", came the reply "that he should be ashamed of himself. why i could read when i was barely five years old!"

* So you say that the water available here is unsafe?"
"Yeah"
"So, tell me what precaution you take before drinking it?"
"Well, first we boil it."
"Yeah."
"Then we filter it."
"Yeah."
"Then we add chlorine."
"Yeah."
"Then to be on the safe side we drink beer."
* Q: Who's a college guy?
A: One who can see three meanings to a word having two meanings