Is this a male fertility issue

plzhelp · Nov 9, 2009

Hi

I observe that my hubby finds it so difficult to get into the sex mood most of the time. If I were not TTC, we normally have sex once a month(he doesnt respond when I initiate n it alwayz has to be him to initiate). Now that we are TTC, I find it sooooo difficult to get him to BD. He is alwayz glued onto his office computer and either says he has work or says he doesnt have the mood. Ive tried everything from sexy clothes to a candle light dinner. And no, itz not about money.Im worried if he would have male fertility issues. He has accepted to meet a fertility specialist to have him checked but the appointment is not until a week. Im worried...is his behaviour normal or is it something I should be worried about??
Please tell me if any of ull had similar issues and what was the result of a male fertility checkup...this TTC process is putting me into additional stress these days...

sharanyadevi · Nov 9, 2009

Dear Help,
nothing to worry. may be he should be busy and tensed with his work. try to talk with him, go for a outing spend some time with him and explain him... sometimes due to work tension he may behave like this anyways meeting a fertility specialist is a good decision.. Good Luck dear:thumbsup

Vasumathy · Nov 9, 2009

Hi Plz Help,
Welcome to Indus Ladies & to this forum...
You can find our forum guidelines here....

I would like to second Sharanya...
We can't decide male fertility issues with simple behavior. Try to divert him from his work pressures. One should not do office work in home & vice-versa. This is actually bad to human relationship! Try to make him to spend quality time with you. Hear his ideas/views about TTC. With these hope your confusions will come to an end!

Just be cool. Tension will not help in TTC! Baby dust to you.

satin · Nov 9, 2009

Try taking a vacation and also try to spend more time with him and show that you care for him like cuddle him,kiss him even when he is sitting or doing something else,I dont think his behaviour has got anything to do with fertility,but dont worry,de-stress him if he is,also make sure that u dont have TV,computer or any electronic thing(they easily divert our mind) in ur bedroom,also try to go to bed early,talk for sometime,spend some time,this itself will make him relaxed.Good luck.

gjaya · Nov 11, 2009

The pressure and stress of TTC can also get to males as much as females. So maybe your DH is merely stressed out from the TTC and the pressure is getting to him and also maybe has some office issues too. Try to talk to him and get him to open up to you. His behavior doesn't necessarily mean that he has fertility issues. Hopefully the medical test will quell all your doubts.

Baby dust to you and good luck :thumbsup

Jaya

plzhelp · Nov 13, 2009

Thanks Jaya,Satin,Vasumathy and Sharanya for your replies.
Even I thought it cud be stress thats getting on him. But if stress cud get on him so easily, how are we going to go on with the TTC process. I have tried everything to destress him...I thot mite be I should not even inform him that this was my ovulation time so that he will not get stressed knowing it...we do cuddle n kiss each other quite often but when it comes to IC he fails. Now, he says he doesnt want to meet the fertility specialist for the next 2 months and thinks he needs to be given sometime.
I wont even bother about all this if only I got pregnant just once. Oh My God, I never knew baby making was this annoying n stressing...every other day during my fertile phase, I keep worrying about how to get him to BD that day :spin

Vasumathy · Nov 13, 2009

Relax is the key... Just don't get into tension. It seems you are more worried than him. Worrying won't help. Think positive.
Make him to come home early for those fertile days. Rest a while & then he may be alright. Give him his own time to come out of stress & tension. Don't pressurize him. Pregnancy will happen in the right time, not the time you force to get it. Live happily with no tension at all....

Baby dust to you.

bebosavita · Nov 26, 2009

hi help. i dnt knw if i shd say ths in public bt after reading ur problem i caled up my frend who had a similar stage but she due to no improvement ended up havin an affair which actually was discoverd by her hubby who was shocked and to say the truth very normal after that ,,,,,,plz dont get me wron im nt suggetin u to have n affair of sum sort but im just confused that why dont the men dont read whats in our eyes........hope ur havin improvements