Infertility - social and family aspects

Myself and my husband have been married for 5 years now and we are yet to be blessed with a baby. Both of us are regularly visiting the doctor for medical treatment of infertility. In the meantime, I need some advice on managing the social and family aspects of my situation, as things are pretty painful now.

One of the things that make me cringe is whenever I talk to my Mother-In-Law. In every phone conversation, she will make it a point to circle back and ask about kids. How do I handle that discussion?

Hi Sonal.

Saw yr mail. I have been married for ten years and hope to be blessed with a child , as God wills.

I know how it feels to have people asking you or insinuating.

Just tell them that you are trying and hopeful, and all will be well by God's Grace. Not everyone can be thrown away by this, still it is worth trying. That is what I do.

To cope socially, I attend all functions involving children- birthday parties, naamkaran, etc. Also enrolled as a safety 'mom' in the nearby playground. Now people have stopped asking me, instead they just beam their good wishes towards us.

I am spiritual and chanting this slokam exolting the miracle of the birth of Krishna fills me with hope and joy everytime.

Tham adbutham balakam ambujekshanam
Chaturbujam shanka gadharyudayudam
Srivatsa lakshmam kalashobi kousthubam
Peethambaram saanthrapayodha soubagam

Happy Deepavli.

Best regards
V

Dear Sonal and Vidya,

I am also sailing in the same boat. I have been married for 4 years and hope to be blessed with a child some day. I am also facing many problems due to infertility. Even I have undergone many treatments, but having diabetes makes it more complicated.

Sonal, I have learnt that as long as your husband is supportive just try to ignore what others say. Because if you are going to listen to everyone, then there will be time only to be depressed. Don't avoid any social functions just because not having a child. It will only make others tell more. Just be confident and never pity yourself and show it openly.

Vidya, i understand that you are religious. have you heard about Garbarakshambikai temple, This Temple is situated on the banks of the river Vettar, branch of the Sacred Cauvery, in the Papanasam Taluk of Thanjavur District-20 Kilometers east of Thanjavur town and 20 Kilometers South west of Kumbakonam, the Temple city. There is a ghee blessed by the goddess and if you and your husband take it for 48 days religiously, you will be blessed with a child.

I am completing the ghee next week. Hope godess garbarakshambikai will help me. for more info, you can log on to the site www.garbaratchambigai.com . They send the ghee outside India as well.

Sonal, if you are interested, you too can take the ghee.
Regards and Happy Diwali to you
Jaya

Thanks Jaya, for info on the temple. Though I had heard of the temple, this is the first time I am hearing abt the site and now checked it out. Thanks for sharing info abt the site.

I read Kumudam Jothidam where the revered astrologer A.m. Rajagopalan gives advice. He tells couples to pray to the Navaneeta Krishna temple in Doddamallur (http://www.doddamallur.com/). He suggests that they should wrap Rs5 in yellow cloth, separately, for both Navaneeta Krishna and Garbarakshambigai, and offer it personally at the temple after the baby is born. You can download the picture of the crawling Navaneta Krishna from this site. This idol is supposed to be so beautiful that apparently Purandaradasar spontaneously composed Jagadhodharana on seeing it.

As you have rightly said, if the husband is supportive, all is well. In my case, I have a very supportive mom, husband and above all parents in law.

I am sure that we will all be blessed, it is just a matter of time.

Happy Deepavali.
Cheers
V

hi friends,

iam also sailing in the same boat. i have been married for 4 years and yet to be blessed with a child. the problem is my harmonal imbalance and i've just started
my treatment. as jaya said we too had taken the ghee from garbarakshambigai temple(completed).

vidya, iam chanting the slokas u have given.

friends, don't worry. we will be blessed with a child soon. God is there.
BE HAPPY.

regards,
Surya.

Hi Surya,

I also completed garbarakshambikai ghee last week. Hoping for the best to come.

Regards
Jaya

Hello Ladies,

Don't worry - wait for the best to happen.

You all seem to be very religious and seem to be worshipping various god(s) & goddess(s). Definitely it is going to help!

Don't loose hope. The time has to come and it will happen. Don't worry about others enquiring, don't feel embarrased, don't avoid any social meetings for this.

It took few years for me to be blessed with my kid. I am talking on my experience.

It's important to consult a good gynecologist to rule out any functional problem. A friend of mine had a blockage in the fallopian tubes. She adopted a child and underwent treatment to remove the blockage. After 10 years she has had a baby. She says that the baby took a long time in arriving! Another friend of mine went to a fertility specialist for 11 years. After each cycle she'd get disheartened. Then she had two bonny babies in quick succession. Both these friends coincidentally went to the same gynec in Bangalore - his name is Dr.Narayanan and he is available at Mamatha Memorial Hospital in Jayanagar 9th Block (opp. Woodys). I have mentioned his name just in case any of you would like to consult him.

Don't worry about what others say - for them it's just idle curiosity. Till a girl is married they ask why she hasn't got a suitable alliance and after that why she hasn't had a baby! If you have one child they ask why you didn't have a second one! - the questions never end.
Relax and enjoy life,
sharada

Dear Sheeba and Sharada,


Thanks for the words of encouragement and the doctor's information. How nice it would be if other people were as understanding and did not hurt us by their questions.


Love
Jaya

Hai friends,
First let me tell you that I too had a child after 4 years of marriage. I took the ghee from the Garbarakshambal temple and conceived immediately the next month. Even before that I had taken all the medical tests etc.I have a son now 14 years old. He was a preterm baby. I was told that I can get castor oil from the temple after the 7th month. It should be applied on the stomach for a safe and natural delivery. But before I could get the oil, I was in the hospital with leaking. By Gid's grace, our neighbour at the hospital had the oil and she gave it to me happily. I was actaully at the hospital without knowing the fate of my child. The doc was not sure if the baby will live because it may be too weightless. But after the oil, I had a natural delivery and my son was weighing 1.5 kg. He had lots of complications and even later had so many problems. But I am keeping a positive approach and he is far better now. All because of the blessing of Garbarakshambikai only. Many astrologers even asked me later if I had lost my first child. He was not destined to be alive, it seems. Now I offer many prayers at Shiva temples to strengthen his life, mrithunjaya homams etc. Also whenever I go to Shiva temples in kerala (my home state), I make it a point to offer rope ( to draw water from the well) so that he will become completely free of his epilapsey.
You can make milk payasam on a fullmoon falling on Wednesday and take it to a Krishna temple and distribute to children.
I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL ONE THING- WHEN SOMEBODY ASKS YOU IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, DO NOT SAY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE. SAY THAT YOU ARE YET TO HAVE CHILDREN. THIS IS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE EVEN IN WORDS. THIS WAS TOLD TO ME BY A LADY I USED TOTRAVEL WITH IN TRAIN IN CHENNAI. I DID AS SHE TOLD ME TILL I CONCEIVED. I PRAY TO THE GODDESS TO BLESS ALL OF YOU WITH MOTHERHOOD.DO NOT LOOSE HOPE. DON'T FRET ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THAT WILL CREATE BAD HARMONES IN YOUR BODY.
ALL THE BEST.
varloo
P.S. I have 4 siblings. One is unmarried. Other than me, my elder brother has a daughter.My elder sister and brother do not have childre. They are past the age also. My cousin is also yet to have a child.