Late marriage.... Planning for family!

Dee09 · Mar 16, 2009

I am a new member and came across this website on the internet. I am happy to find this place and need your opinion with my situation. I am 31, soon to be 32 in June. I got married 2 years ago. My marriage was very late because of family situations. I also have an elder sister who is 34 and not married yet. Being younger one I waited as much as I could and got married. Now I want to have a kid and seeing this condition I feel if I get pregnant everyone will laugh at my sister. My husband and I are ready to plan our family. Is this wrong ? I feel guilty at the same time helpless because even my age is increasing. As it is I am married so late. Now planning the first child I don't know my fate. Could someone advice me if I am thinking in the right sense or not. I don't want to cause pain or offend anyone in my family. But in the same time, I am concerned about my age increasing.

archana2008 · Mar 16, 2009

Dee,
Considering your age, it is not wrong to go ahead and start for family... Please donot think that it is wrong to have babies before your sister.
Kids are God's gift. Kids bring luck to family. You might know good news about your pregnancy and you sister's marriage might get fixed same time.. so think positive. And start trying for kids..
Good Luck! :thumbsup
Bye
Archana

Priya_Mommy · Mar 16, 2009

Hello Dee,
I second to Archana.
ComeOn' its your life and fate ma, you have to take care of it. God has decided kids first for you that your sister.
Age factor is really important for kids. You are not doing any sin by giving birth. Kids are really gifts for us from God. So, dont think that if you think of kids yu will get without any pains. They may get delayed for some reasons. So, before trying to concieve, go for a thorough checkup and plan accordingly.
All the best!!

Dee09 · Mar 17, 2009

Thanks Archana and Priya_mommy. I was so confused and trapped in this situation. I guess its right. Everyone has their individual fate and time.

Padmini · Mar 17, 2009

dear dee,
do not mistake me already late marriage. so plan for achild. it is your life and you have to make it happy to both of you. you need not feel guilty about it. if you postpone your sis may feel guilty. but see you are not hurting your sister by words or deeds. as an elderly person. i am saying this to you. do not mistake me. sorry if i have hurt you.
with love
pad.

Dee09 · Mar 17, 2009

Thanks for writing Padmini. I take your advice. I feel bit satisfied after reading all the replies. Otherwise my mind was pondering if I am doing something wrong or if I should wait more or what. But thank you for advising on this. I will not mistake you and I think you are advicing me out of experience.

guddy · Apr 11, 2009

Hi Dee,

I was debating weather to replay for your mail or not for long. I was shocked to c ur mail. It looked like some one is telling my story, just with some details changed. Mine is also a late marriage. I have two unmarried elder sisters. I got married 6months back.

I can completely understand what ur going through, as I am undergoing the same right now. I even left my country thinking if I live any where near them I will make every once life miserable and mine to. Now away from every one & still feel as if I have done something wrong by getting married before my sisters. An we are planning for a baby now. I have no idea how to handle this situation. Will this hurt my sisters.They might not tell to me that they feel bad or so, but still................. u don't know?

How do one get over this. It keeps running in my mind every sec of my day.

bye
take cae

Vasumathy · Apr 13, 2009

Hi Guddy,
Welcome to Indus Ladies & to this forum. You can see our forum guidelines here...

I do not know your family situations why you happened to marry before your elder sisters. But it is not your mistake to proceed in your life. You need to run your life. Do not feel guilty! Just do the good to your life & do whichever good you can offer from your side in helping their marriage. I hope that is sufficient! Sorry if my statements looks wrong to you or hurts you!

Take care.

guddy · Apr 13, 2009

Hi Vasumathy,

Thanks for writing Vasumathy. I think you are right. It was just good to talk to some one about this. When Dee had written her issue I just felt so close to home. I hope every thing is for good.

bye

Vasumathy · Apr 14, 2009

Hi Guddy,
If you feel your pain get reduced when you talk about your deep worries, please go ahead. I don't want to stop you. I just wanted to tell you its not your mistake.

GOD is doing everything. Not you!

Enjoy your marriage life instead od worrying!
Take care.