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Is infertility a curse? feeling upset!

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by sugugiri2010, Mar 2, 2015.

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  1. Mar 2, 2015 #1
    sugugiri2010

    sugugiri2010 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Ils

    A small background: meera,my friend - we were friends from school days and always been together all time.. she was in love with a guy for past 10 yrs, and have struggled a lot in getting married to him. I have helped her a lot in this journey, and i have suffered a lot because of this, to say helping for her love i have got many slap from my grand parents and so.

    at present: she got married to him on june 2012... both families agreed and they are happy... and she was very thankful to me as well for helping her. she tried to conceive and she dint ... so i kept giving her guidance and she kept on ping me for her doubts.. everytime i helped her , i was following up with her regularly ,finally she fell pregnant,but she dint inform me about it... suddenly she stopped messaging and all... meanwhile i was also busy with my treatments and stuff... after two months i pinged her and asked how her treatment was going on... she said ya i had my scan ,my baby is healthy, i was shocked ,u never told me that u r pregnant, suddenly u r saying abt baby.. she said rgt on my face. we(she and her hus)have already decided not to tell this to u.. i felt very down, when i asked y? she said u dont have a baby na.i was hurt.. my close friend treated me bad, i couldnt believe. I really dont know why people see infertility as a curse....
     
    sugugiri2010, Mar 2, 2015
    sugugiri2010, Mar 2, 2015
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  2. Mar 2, 2015 #2
    docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    Hey I don't think ur friend told u it was a curse or something.. I think she was just trying to be nice knowing what u r going through.. As in both were trying to conceive n only she did so she must have felt you might be more upset hearing she conceived while you haven't yet. Don't read too much into it.. All the best n hope u have a baby soon.:)
     
    docathome, Mar 2, 2015
    docathome, Mar 2, 2015
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  3. Mar 2, 2015 #3
    jaden

    jaden Gold IL'ite

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    Exactly as above.She is a really nice girl,who just dint want to rub it on your face when you are going thru all the fertility treatments.She was just being sensitive to your situation.Give her a benefit of doubt.Meanwhile take a chill pill and do things which you enjoy the most,coz after being preggy you mite miss all these.Good luck dear
     
    jaden, Mar 2, 2015
    jaden, Mar 2, 2015
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  4. Mar 3, 2015 #4
    sugugiri2010

    sugugiri2010 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Jaden,

    feeling better now.... may b u ppl r right... and am thinking too much.

     
    sugugiri2010, Mar 3, 2015
    sugugiri2010, Mar 3, 2015
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  5. Mar 3, 2015 #5
    sugugiri2010

    sugugiri2010 Gold IL'ite

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    thanks Docathome for ur reply... i think am thinking too much these days... over imaginatory.... feeling better now....

     
    sugugiri2010, Mar 3, 2015
    sugugiri2010, Mar 3, 2015
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  6. Mar 3, 2015 #6
    SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Even we did the same when we conceived for the second time. Our best friends (Husband is my hubby's friend, and wife is my School mate), who were married before us, are struggling with this infertility. They are seeing doctors after doctors with hopes. We are thorough about their struggles and the results and how they feel bad/sad or down when they hear news about someone's pregnancy. It is natural.
    They sadly missed their parenthood.

    So, when we got accidentally conceived our second one, we did not rush to inform them immediately. We just waited until things turn good or stable with them to reveal this news, so that it won't be a sad news or disappointment for them to handle.

    This is equal to praising your mother's home made dish and care/love to someone who just lost his mom. Not just appropriate.

    I think it is called decency, your friend is a decent one it seems.\
     
    SGBV, Mar 3, 2015
    SGBV, Mar 3, 2015
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  7. Mar 3, 2015 #7
    sugugiri2010

    sugugiri2010 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi SGBV, may b u r rgt.... but when she told me , she could have told it more politely... i felt she was harsh.. thats y i got upset

     
    sugugiri2010, Mar 3, 2015
    sugugiri2010, Mar 3, 2015
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  8. Mar 3, 2015 #8
    resmij

    resmij Silver IL'ite

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    sorry to hear about this.

    best friend, and u got this back. it hurts ,

    but it is common that ppl hide the pregnancy news at least- first trimester.

    even old ppl recommend- don't tell to anyone.

    so ignore what she did to u, and concentrate in your life.

    regards,
    resmij
     
    resmij, Mar 3, 2015
    resmij, Mar 3, 2015
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  9. Mar 3, 2015 #9
    SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Best friend, long relationship... so, we was more blunt without any sugar coated words.
    She did not say that it was a curse, or you may caste evil eye or something. She didn't even hide the fact about her pregnancy when you called her. It is not that you came to know this news, but she revealed when you casually asked about her health. So, it simply states that she did not purposely hided this for the reasons you are thinking above. She did not want to hurt you, she did not want to make you uncomfortable; but told this straight on your face.

    Don't worry... Your bundle of joy is yet to come... It does not mean it won't come.
     
    SGBV, Mar 3, 2015
    SGBV, Mar 3, 2015
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  10. Mar 4, 2015 #10
    sugugiri2010

    sugugiri2010 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi SGBV , thanks...may b she thought just lik wat u say and i over imagined... i dont know why.... these days am just feeling hurted for even small things.This TTC struggle has changed me a lot

     
    sugugiri2010, Mar 4, 2015
    sugugiri2010, Mar 4, 2015
    #10
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