Planning for a baby - Frustrated and All Alone

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by soulful, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello All, I really need some guidance, advice, support and some lift-my-spirits-up.
    (A long post - plese bear with me!)

    I am 31 and DH is 36. Myself and hubby are planning for a baby since last April 2014. For a multitude of reasons, we could not start sooner. But as soon as we could, we started our attempts.

    Initially, I was not so worried. But as 6 months rolled by, we decided we should get tested. Everything turned out to be normal for the both of us except a slightly low progesterone level on day 21.

    The RE decided to put me on clomid and we did 2 rounds of clomid + HCG injections + timed IC. 1[SUP]st[/SUP] time that I was on clomid, my progesterone was satisfactory, the 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] time not so much. (I have a feeling that I might have ovulated late, but can’t say for sure). The third month, I was not very comfortable going along with clomid and decided to take a break and try naturally. Guess what, my period that was to show up end of January 2015, has not yet showed up and today is March 1[SUP]st[/SUP].

    I did call my doctor and she said I should take medication for inducing my period and then do clomid round 3, this time with IUI. When I asked what could be the reason that my period did not show up, she says it could be cyst from the 2 rounds of clomid. Just FYI – my periods are fairly regular, there have been instances when I have missed a period or two(happens once in 1-2 years).

    Now I am worried, me not getting my period naturally is caused by clomid and the doctor says try yet another round of clomid - Is it really a wise thing?(Obviously, a lack of trust here) Is there another option? Has anyone been in this situation themselves?

    Another issue is my husband – He has NO sense of urgency. I am here breaking my head against the wall, researching, analyzing and researching some more, I am even taking herbal supplements (I took evening primrose oil to help with the dryness caused by clomid. Currently I am taking Ovaboost which is said to be a big help in regulating ovulation, periods and producing good quality eggs - which I think will help with progesterone?) and it looks like he is no hurry to get anywhere. He has always been this over-cautious, slow decision maker (which I appreciate) but now we are running out of time and he says – we have hardly tried this doctor and we must give her another chance (as you see above, I do not have much faith in the current Doctor and he insists on waiting for some more time before we switch. How come he is not worried? I feel alone in this uphill battle. It is not something I can do on my own otherwise I would have had a baby by now, believe me! See my crazy talk? That is how crazy I am going. I am running like a chicken with it's head cut off! NOT FUN!!

    Please help. Can someone give some information, advice encouragement anything as to how to proceed from here.

    Thanks a lot in advance!
     
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  2. teejay

    teejay Gold IL'ite

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    Dear @soulful, I totally understand your situation.I started my TTC journey @ your age and ironically my DH was also the same age as yours. Now 2 yrs later we are still in this journey. My Dh also has this laid back attitude about starting a family. But in a way, it is a god thing. It will not help you any if both of you are stressed. stress affects your cycles and reduces chances of conception. If DH is stressed, it could affect his count. SO relaxed is good to a certain extend. Don't think you are alone. We are all here to support you and give you useful pointers. If you don't feel comfortable with your current doc, you can always get a second opinion from a different one. But if you ask me, I would suggest adopt healthy food habits and exercise. Start taking folic acid and prenatal vitamins. And if every thing is found satisfactory, you can give IUI a try. Most people conceive with in 3-4 attempts. All the best
     
  3. jaden

    jaden Gold IL'ite

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    Wow you are fun lottsa fun for sure :).
    I dont have any advise for you,but just want to wish you loads of luck and patience.I totally understand ,the roller coaster ride you are on,coz i am on one tooconsole1.Regarding your hubby,men usually just dont get our urgency on starting a family,let alone our panic attacks.Normally a healthy couple can take upto a year to conceive.So i would say,have fun,chill out together go on vacations,just to clear your head.Afterall everyone deserves a break.A good break will put things in the right perspective for you.
    Good luck dear,remember tomorrows a new day with new hopes .:cheers
     
  4. msms

    msms Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Souful,

    I completely agree with Jaden, take a break and relax. We all are sailing in the same boat. And Few months back , I had the same issue with my DH. Only I used to get panic, I used to get tensed, and there was no one with whom I could share my frustrations. I spoke to him, and he explained me that whatever has to happen will happen. If we panic, nothing is going to happen. And I agreed with him. Panic or stress is biggest enemy for conceiving. 31 is not very old, relax if you read research articles then you will realize that this because of this panic, many doctors are earning. So relax, it will happen, it has to happen. Stay positive. Our day is on the way..:)

    Baby dust to you..
     
  5. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you people. It felt so good to vent. And even better to see so many replies. That is one of the first things I did this morning. Check out Indusladies. It is like this huge vat of lava inside which we keep churning and churning with no release. It is good to know we have support.

    @teejay I know how you feel. It is the exact same thing. I am taking prenatals and folic acid for the past few months

    @jaden - yes it is indeed a roller coaster ride, except in this ride, we do not know when we will get off. that much more frustrating!

    @msms - 31 is not too old - I tell myself that too(helps with the stress) - until I call my mother back home. Who is to explain that to her?

    Thank you girls, for being there for me. Appreciate it. Hope we all are able to get some news soon.

    Baby dust to All. Thanks
     

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