Did anyone have to terminate a pregnancy due to fetus development issues?

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by mridusudha, May 15, 2008.

  1. mridusudha

    mridusudha Silver IL'ite

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    Hello all,

    I had to terminate two of my pregnancies due to fetal development issues..First time was @ 18 wks and the 2nd time was at 12 wks...Both times different reasons. We had done all possible tests on ourselves and have been through genetic counselling here in the U.S and in India...but no doctors seem to have an answer of why it happened twice with us and that too two different reasons...the doctors say both the incidents are not related to each other and I have been unfortunate to face it twice....I guess when science does not have an answer that's what everyone says....I lost my first baby in Dec 2006 and the 2nd one in June 2007......and since then I didn't try to conceive because of fear...that something might go wrong again...
    not sure what God has in store for me...But my DH and me are surviving with no living children yet.....Certain days are depressing specially when I see people of my age and even younger being pregnant(I am 31 yrs) and go on to have healthy children....

    What would you do? Will you try conceiving again or will you try adopting a baby?
    (I know adopting a child is not easy.)

    Did anyone have any similar situations like this? Please help me and thanks for understanding me

    Thanks,
    M
     
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  2. Happysoul1234

    Happysoul1234 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear M,

    I was very sad to hear about your losses. Please accept my condolences. Although I have not experienced anything like what you have, I wanted to write to you and tell you not to lose hope. These things happen for some reason best known to god only and we are left wondering what we did to deserve the pain and suffering.

    My best friend lost her 1st baby at 14 weeks due to some genetic problem. But she successfully went on to have 3 more kids. All 3 of them have varying degrees of a hereditary kidney problem but are doing very well today at the age of 5,3 and1. We suspect that the baby that was lost probably had a severe form of the same problem and that is why she lost him.

    One of my mom's friends had some genetic compatibility issues with her husband. Her first baby died at the age of 1 and the 2nd one at 2 weeks. She then went on to adopt 2 kids and is very happy today, and the adopted kids are bright, successful, happy, loving teenagers.

    No personal experiences to match yours, but I watch a show called Baby Story on the Learning Channel, which shows you the journey of pregnancy and birth of many couples. There was one couple who had 5 miscarriages, including one caused by doing an amniocentis test but who then went on to have 3 kids. Another couple I saw had 2 babies, then 2 miscarriages before they conceived their 3rd kid.

    So you are not alone. Perhaps the time was not right for you. God works in mysterious ways. Please do not lose hope and give up on having children. If god means for you to have kids, then it will happen when it is supposed to happen. If you are meant to adopt, then that will also happen. As they say in hindi, samay se pehle aur kismat se jyada aadmi ko kuch nahi milta.

    I will keep you in my prayers and hope that your problems get resolved.

    Regards,

    Pooja
     
  3. AnithaA

    AnithaA Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear M,

    Really sorry to know about your loss. It was heart wrenching for me to read your post. I got to kow about a website called sakthifoundation.org from one of the pregnancy forums here at IL. The Sakthi Foundation seems to be a non-profit organisation. I was going through the website and their testimonials and I found a testimonial very similar to your post. Here is the testimonial :
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]There is no word to convey my gratitude to Priya and Pradheep for their Pancha Bhoota healing which gave me new life. In my first pregnancy in 1999 my doctor diagnosed that my three month fetus was defective with unusual fluid in the brain and the head size was much bigger than the body. In the ninth month the baby was born dead with a horrifying big sized head with full of fluid in the brain. In my next pregnancy in 2000, I was asked to take lot of folic acid (vitamin) and other vitamin supplements and less of water to prevent any abnormality. But unfortunately in the third month the same condition occurred and I was asked by doctors to abort it. Again in 2001 my third defective pregnant baby was aborted. The doctors said I was producing defective babies with a condition called “hydroencephaly / hydroencephalopathy / hydroencephalus” which they said even in USA there is no cure for this disease and suggested to never attempt another pregnancy.

    Life was so frustrating without bearing a kid and I was directed to Pradheep and Priya who were visiting India in 2002 June. Pradheep told me to do Pancha Bhoota healing and cautioned not to use any vitamin supplements but eat all natural foods. I did not believe at that time that Pancha bhoota healing could do miracle. I was pregnant in 2003 and with doubt and anxiety I did a scan in the third and seventh month and astonished to find that the fetus was normal. In-spite of this I was skeptical till my beautiful daughter was born 18th December weighing 7.5 pounds. I did all the five elements of Pancha Bhoota including drinking water (To be frank from the day of pregnancy till I got the scan report in third month that the baby was fine I did not do water therapy. Because what medical doctors previously told me that water would cause fluid in kid’s brain, was haunting my mind. Once I understood that Pancha Bhoota healing works I resumed the water therapy from fourth month till delivery. Without taking any iron supplements through diet I was able to make very good iron levels. Thanks once again to Sakthi Foundation and prayers to God to make Sakthi Foundation reachable to desperate people.
    [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    Regards and Love
    Ms. Sumathy Rajan, India, January 2004.
    [/FONT]

    As you can see, looks like Ms.Sumathy has benefited from this organisation and is blessed with a bundle of joy. You may want to contact them with your problem. I have a feeling, this organisation will be able to help you. Here is the link to their pregnancy section, which will give you an idea of what they suggest : http://www.sakthifoundation.org/pregnancy.htm and this is the link to their testimonials : http://www.sakthifoundation.org/test_pregnancy.htm I will pray that you are blessed with a wonderful baby soon. Take care. Hope you will soon share the good news with us at IL. :)

    Regards,
    Anitha

     
  4. cheers_sunray

    cheers_sunray Senior IL'ite

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    Hi M,

    I'm in similar situation like yurs with termination of my first pregnancy 2 weeks back.I was 10 weeks pregnant by then, but as there was no foetal develpoment with no heart beat and even the gestational sac was almost empty, I had no option but Termination.
    I was diagnosed as having Blighted Ovum.
    I can understand how painfull it ll be, as I'm going through the same situation.
    The reasons behind this are unclear,though doctors say that its quite common in first pregnancy.
    Actually this type of miscarriages were common in olden days as they occurred un noticed.In olden days only after 3rd month one used know abt pregnancy.So if one becomes pregnant and had any miscarriage in 10th or 12th week, it was considered as normal but delayed period.
    Medically speaking,One is not pregnant unless u can have the herat beat with foetal growth in the gestational sac.It can occur after 12 th week only.

    Juts dont loose hope, U can definitely become pregnant. Once u have a become pregnant so there is no issue in becoming again.You were saying that you had 2 miscarriages with different reasons.If it was due to similar reasons u might worry that it will happen again.Just believe the Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest, only the healthy baby can come in to this world.Just think if you had a child with any abnormality, how painful it will be for both of you and the child also.my hubby ha stold me these words, I kept on thinking and thinking and now I became quite stronger now.Dont get depressed. You will def have a healthy child.Keep faith.

    First concentrate on ur health with proper diet.Check your Hb and blood glucose levels.If everything s fine then only plan for pregnancy.Even I ll be doing the same.I shall wait for 3-4 months and become quite healthy( my blood sugar levels r little bit high, I need to concentrate on this too with proper exercise and diet)
    When I feel confident enough, then only I'll plan for pregnancy.


    Best of luck for both of us..........

    Regards,
    Deepa
     
  5. sorna

    sorna Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Mridula,

    i had 3 miscarriages all because of fetus stopped growing after 10 weeks.its a long story,after 6 years,last year i got pregnant again fourth time and blessed with my Arvind.i went through several treatments while i was in chennai.Still the doctors couldn't find the reason.After coming here i had to go for D&C because of fetus not growing well.Then they found out endo poly while doing it and removed that.This was in 2006 Dec.Again i got prenant in june 2007 and this one was a success .

    Anyhow still its a mystery what was the problem.One thing is sure if u don't know the reason,continue trying.

    i have to admit i didn't enjoy my pregnancy as i was scared the whole time.i believed in my pregnancy only after hearing Arvind's first crying.

    i understand ur fear,i went thru those fears for 5 years.Just never loose hope and don't get depressed.(That fault i did often).We can meet one day.i am in whitehall estates.
     
  6. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Dear MriduSudha
    You are not alone. I am now blessed with two kids aged 7 and 3, but I had a miscarriage before my daughter. The baby was growing absolutely fine and the scan results showed that he is really doing great. But one fine morning I had spotting(that was around 14 weeks) and the doctor announced that one of the two tubes that connects the baby and the mother have got cut and so the baby is no more (I got to know that the baby is a boy when the autopsy was done). I had to undergo a forced abortion. But we waited for the time given by the doctor and then planned again and now my daughter is 7 years old.

    So please dont loose heart. Things like this happen and what to say.
    I would like to share with you what my MIL told me when I had that miscarriage, God wanted you to enjoy motherhood, but he loved that baby in your womb so much so he called that baby to be with him. That baby will definitely recomend to god to give you more healthy and brainy babies.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2008
  7. nehausa

    nehausa Senior IL'ite

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    god is gr8tst power,,,,

    dr kirit patel grp of 3 doc with 2 ladies...in edison nj has given babies to people
    with no hope...i have seen 40-43yr old women preg..

    childless couples for 10 yrs have kids coz of him..
    y dont u try him,,and if god wants u will hav baby...

    best wishes..
     
  8. hemadurga

    hemadurga Bronze IL'ite

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    Last edited: Sep 6, 2009
  9. Sankna

    Sankna Bronze IL'ite

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    Wow thats really inspiring . Very happy to know that.. COngrats mridusudha !!:party
     

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