Infertility is unique

That's really true.

 

Infertility apart from being a physical problem also has long lasting psychological effects. I read somewhere on IL that coping with infertility definitely takes a toll and it can be compared to battling with long term depression.
Usually the men deal with it in their own way. They do not have to answer probing questions from everyone. Infertility is often dismissed as a "women's". problem.

 

Frankly our society can never improve. We live in a society where the male child is preferred. Women are encouraged to stay within the house. Once a girl child is born, parents start planning for her wedding. In such a society I do not think women can be given their due.

 

First of all pls dont call it a disease. Infertility is a condition and not a disease. In Past ppl use to say "Banj" or "Banjar" ...calling it a disease is just as bad as that. Just because it is treated by a doctor it is not a disease.
The situation may be unique but then the solutions are also common like IUI /IVF/surrogacy etc and for some ppl only prayers also do the magic.
Many couples used to live childless in the earlier days and die childless but there is a lot of progress in the path of child rearing now and if GOD wanted it to be a disease he would never have given the option of having test tube babies. Like making love, its making babies.
So be positive !

 

infertility has changed me as a person. I was always the belle of the ball. I liked being in the limelight, basking in every one's attention. If I took leave for one day from work, every one in my office would take notice (because having me around meant noise, chatter and laughs). I was a confident person. emotionally strong. My dad used to say I was his son (in the sense I was bold and responsible) Now I am a cry baby. I literally hide from everyone- friends and family. I do not go for social gatherings like marriages and b'day parties. I don't even talk to my next door neighbor. I always had a goal and worked towards achieving it.And I knew how to reach my goal. Now I am unsure of everything. Pessimistic. Do not know what to do ,what will work for me. No one in my family including my cousins and extended relatives had to face this issue. So i get a range of comments lie 'Its because you were dieting too much while in college', 'you married too late' 'you waited for years to start trying for a baby' , 'you are too old'. I keep hoping that the pain and despair will alleviate with time. But it has only gotten worse.

 

Hi OP,

Infertility is certainly not a disease or a lifestyle problem, there are so many couples who are diagnosed with Unexplained infertility. Its after all the creation of life and i believe theres a force greater than all of us , including our doctors, at play here. Thats the first thing I learnt in this journey, there are things not in your control here. The same goes for the drugs used in the treatment; they are not meant for treating infertility , ovulation is often a side effect of these drugs. So it will take ur doctor time to figure out the cocktail that works for you. Some ppl get lucky and strike gold at the first try.
Like you pointed out the journey is an isolated one because very few ppl talk abt their infertility stuggles. The stigma associated with it and this association of manhood with the ability to procreate! How many of us are willing to make a start and talk abt it so that it becomes easier for the next person to join in? I wish there were support groups where ppl could meet in person and see each other through trying times.
I also used to not attend social gatherings for fear of being asked the "good news" question. But my husband used to always reason that ppl can ask u abt it in the first function and maybe the second, but how many times are they going to ask u the same thing! Some ppl simply lack the subtlety and sensitivity to another persons pain, some are downright mean ! The ttc journey is a great way of weeding out your friends and relatives garden When I was blessed with a baby after 7 yrs of marriage some relatives only message was " at last, better late than never"! I know where these ppl are on my priority list now
The journey has taught me to be more empathetic. This is one aspect of life that is proving to be tough for you but im sure there are other things in which we have been the fortunate ones; maybe a solid degree, a great job, a kind and loving husband, financial stability! Always count your blessings.
Ok im done with my ramblings, but I hear you sister, its not an easy journey, something I dont want anybody to go thru but all the other things that you have been blessed with in life will help you through this phase. When u hold your little one in your arms you'll cherish him/ her that lil bit extra!

 

Thats....Scarily..exactly...completely..ME!!console1.
We shall beat it together!! whatsayyyyyy :thumbsup