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Telling a child that he/she is an IVF baby

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by vini31, Apr 22, 2014.

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  1. Apr 22, 2014 #1
    vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

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    I do not know if this is the right thread to post, mods pls move it to the right thread if u think it is not appropriate,

    All of the lovely ladies on the TTC forum have had to try one of the ART methods to conceive, after all the TTC ordeal, when you hold ur LOs, would you say after 15 -20 years tell the child that he/she was conceived through IVF?

    I know i am thinking long way but just a thought to ponder on

    need your response
     
    vini31, Apr 22, 2014
    vini31, Apr 22, 2014
    #1
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  2. Apr 22, 2014 #2
    Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Vini,
    Do you think there is something wrong in telling this to the kid?
    I prefer to tell instead of hiding it. Kid can be aware of the ordeals that has been faced by us and can be little more cautious in his/her own health! Lets be open to them! JMO!
    My DH said my MIL was born after 11 years of waiting.. Telling my kid is something like that to me!
     
    Vasumathy, Apr 22, 2014
    Vasumathy, Apr 22, 2014
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  3. Apr 22, 2014 #3
    vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

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    vasu, i dont think it is anything wrong to tell the child, but our society has so much taboo associated with childlessness, ART, adoption n all ... so was just wondering
     
    vini31, Apr 22, 2014
    vini31, Apr 22, 2014
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  4. Apr 22, 2014 #4
    han412

    han412 Gold IL'ite

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    @vini31 why not? and I don't see why the child might get offended or feel unwanted? About society's expectation you are never ever right no matter what you do.
     
    han412, Apr 22, 2014
    han412, Apr 22, 2014
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  5. Apr 22, 2014 #5
    Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    No need to tell the society but can tell it to our kid when it they could understand it!
    Forget about society, they are not going to do any good to us. Tell them its natural conception, they have no rights to do research in our personal life! Its our life, we can chose the best for us & do it for ourselves! We don't need the society to accept our decisions!
     
    Vasumathy, Apr 22, 2014
    Vasumathy, Apr 22, 2014
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  6. Apr 22, 2014 #6
    vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

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    i do understand your views abt society .. i too care a damn rather but with society i refer to the first circle of relatives say SIL, your own cousins, second cousins,
    i do remember incidence of discrimination, one cousin of my husband invited my SIL for a godh barai ceremony (she does not hv children, married for more than 10 yrs now) the same lady calls my husband n tells him "i cannot invite ur wife as she does not have a child" these are litrally translated , another co sis of mine has twins from IUI who are 20, she too has heard nasty things will these ppl ever change
     
    vini31, Apr 22, 2014
    vini31, Apr 22, 2014
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  7. Apr 22, 2014 #7
    nikitaram

    nikitaram Silver IL'ite

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    Interesting question vini. Maybe once the kid learns abt reproductive system in class, you can tell him or her how moms eggs and dads sperms kept missing each other every month and so a doc had to step in and force them to spend time together ( all in a lighter vein off course).And regarding ppl if its not abt IVF or ART they'll find something else to be nasty abt!
     
    nikitaram, Apr 22, 2014
    nikitaram, Apr 22, 2014
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  8. Apr 23, 2014 #8
    Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Vini,
    In my case i told only to my parents & siblings about treatment and my IVF pregnancy. DH side, no one knows. I told everyone else that it was normal conception. No need to tell the story to anyone!
    Its your own call to inform or leave it based on the circumstances. If those relatives won't take it well, don't tell them about the treatment. Let them assume!
     
    Vasumathy, Apr 23, 2014
    Vasumathy, Apr 23, 2014
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  9. Apr 23, 2014 #9
    RedRuby

    RedRuby Platinum IL'ite

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    To be honest im not even sure if its nessecary to tell the child, but its good if you do so as its nothing to hide from a child really as its not bad. In fact its good :)
    How many parents and ppl in general do get pregnant by accident? Or didnt plan the baby really, or failed in contraceptives? Do they tell their children?
    You had a long journey for your child and you faught for it hard which shows how much you wanted her/him so badly in your life.. this is a huge compliment and a sign of great love towards your child and im sure your child will see it that way.. that you even took more effort then most other ppl to give him life. Be proud when you inform and show all you did with love to hold her/him in your arms.
     
    RedRuby, Apr 23, 2014
    RedRuby, Apr 23, 2014
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  10. Apr 24, 2014 #10
    divyamsriram

    divyamsriram Bronze IL'ite

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    There is absolutely nothing wrong in telling a child about this! We are so blessed to be living in a time when the field of medicine is so advanced that we are able to get a shot at having a family of our own!! Iam sure our children would be fascinated and intrigued to know how they came into our lives :)
     
    divyamsriram, Apr 24, 2014
    divyamsriram, Apr 24, 2014
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