Finally I have something good to share…

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by Vasumathy, Mar 4, 2014.

  1. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am not a story writer; forgive me for this bigger TTC journey…
    I hope some people might know my early ttc struggle. To the others, here is how it shocked my life!

    Dh is the only son to the family which had few girls! So, no need to tell, everyone around us wanted to see our baby immediately after marriage. There where troubles within families, arranged marriage has all sorts of troubles with it! So, there was stress around us. Since nothing happened till 8 months of marriage, in-laws booked gynec appointment. She knew Dh is a doc (I’m not! :-( ), so, went straight to blood test of hormones, ultrasound and HSG. Blood tests & ultrasound procedures were fine with me. But HSG was horrible procedure for me. I got worried because of the bad pain and men operator in the HSG room! I was very new to hospital; before marriage once or twice I must have gone to hospital, it was difficult for me to accept it.

    Results told, I had one tube block & high prolactin levels along with other disturbance with LH & FSH levels and of course PCOS too! It all scared me to core. That was when I joined IL! IL showed many people are suffering like me, I am not alone. That feeling made the life to move on with treatments. Dh had decent sperm count too! He cleared his side before my check up. Since he knew I am more worried, dh ensured female doctors/ scan centers & so on from then onwards! Supporting dh! Can be happy for that!

    Then we went with few medicated cycles & timed IC. I used to produce more follicles with the tablets & injections though it doesn’t work. In the end, doc wanted to do some surgical procedure to clear tube block. Gynec wasn’t sure the results will be fruitful. DH was against opening tummy before pregnancy. So, we decided to wait for sometime & think. IUI was the next option for us & we checked in with a hospital which offered IUI.

    After seeing our previous reports, doc wanted to do a diagnostic lap which revealed tube block in one tube, and the other showed partial spill. I don’t understand if I had any chances after that report, still went ahead with IUIs. 3 cycles with Clomid, hCG shot & monitored follicle growth. Remaining 3 cycles were with injections to stimulate growth. Dh’s sperm count started to decrease with the start of IUI, increased family pressure & more sick MIL where his set of troubles. Gynec never showed any hope to us in all those cycles! By the end of last IUI, gynec said only IVF was the next option to us. I liked one quote from the doc “Worrying won’t help!” which helped my life to move on, nothing else was useful!
     
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  2. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I was lost with this battle by then; don’t have any energy to continue with treatments. Like everyone in the ttc journey, I was scared, worried on results, expected more out of each cycle! A common mistake! I was working until beginning of IUIs, and then wanted to rest for better results in IUI. But by the end of IUIs, I lost both job & good results from treatments. It was hard for us, couldn’t do anything. Since I felt worst, dh didn’t think about next level for sometime.
    Then again I did the research for IVF centers. I found one & we both went there. Doc, talked good & we decided to proceed further. Gynec wanted to do HSG once again to know the conditions of the uterus before proceeding to IVF. Results of HSG showed confusion with tubes, one which was patent earlier was blocked & the blocked tube is open! I couldn’t trust the things happen inside! Since we don’t need to bother about tubes in IVF, we proceeded further. They did IVF as batch process, we can see at least 3 or four ladies starting along with you and each day there will be a batch of people starting their own. Its crowded hospital with infertility troubles!

    Until EC things went fine, I produced good number of eggs & many of them have turned to blast stage (ready for 5 day transfer). Somehow on the ET day, the procedure got much delayed; doc got occupied with other things and finally it was done. I stayed there for a day, came home next day and then rested for 2WW completely. Mom did all help she could, she was working by that time. But by the end, it failed. It was another heart break. At least with IVF we thought outcome will be good, still nothing! After few months gap, we decided to proceed with the frozen cycle. Again on that day the procedure it got delayed. Eventually it’s another failed cycle! That hospital was a crowded one, just like the rest of the IVF centers. It lagged individual attention. Medicines, Injections given irrespective of body conditions! May be that caused the failure or some hidden factors! GOD only knows. In the end some medicines with IVF accelerated my skin sensitivity & I started to have uncontrollable itching everywhere. I started to have medication for that & it took months to slowly stop the medication!

    IVF is an emotional roller coaster ride. It takes all our good spirits, money, health & so on! While doing the IVF procedure, I lost my mil. It was hard for us. IVF failure & all those things made us to move on with other things in life. We moved to different place to start DH’s higher studies & I found a job to occupy me. Next 2 & half years went with lesser stress compared to those old days. We tried naturally, just checked my prolactin levels & took tablets for it. Chosen a healthy life style, ate good food and did some basic exercises. Went to temples & prayed! Still nothing worked. DH asked after a year whether to start another ivf? But I wasn’t ready, I was scared of pain of injections. Last IVF made me to sit back; I didn’t get a good will to move on. So, continued to try naturally for those 2 & half years. I started to do research to keep myself occupied and to grow in my carrier.
     
  3. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    After that time, I started to think about IVF; DH was like “if you are ready, then fine”. I decided that I shouldn’t bother about pain this time. I know what to expect & what are the things I have to tackle now. I started to look for some place where there will be less crowd, wanted a relatively new place which is the only place where crowd can be less (to my point of view at least). I wanted a cool climate to proceed with treatments as I am naturally heaty & those medications brought more heat to body. Heat environment generally reduces the success rate. So, decided to take up treatment only by Nov or Dec where Chennai climate will be better.

    On the search, I found one from IL, we made an appointment & checked their process. Hospital gave the assurance that individual attention will be given & seen less crowded compared to my past experience. We felt OK with that hospital and decided to proceed further. We talked to them about the last IVF downfalls, my allergy & so on… They gave list of blood test, scan for me & SA & blood test for dh. SA was decent; healthy life style & less stress for those 2 & half years produced the results. But my scan & blood test reports came back as bad. My ovarian reserve was much lower. May be all those earlier medications & the response to the medicines reduced my reserve? I don’t know! Poor ovarian reserve was another blow to us! So, decided not to waste much more time. When that thought troubled, dh told not to worry, we can tackle the effects of ovarian reserve later!
     
  4. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    They wanted to do Hysteroscopy & went for that. Some samples were collected & given for biopsy, results are fine with it! Both of us where given with tablets to boost our conditions. After taking medicines for more than a month, I went to meet the doc on the second day of periods. After scan, she wanted us to wait for another month as the conditions were getting better and another month with tablets may produce much improved egg quality. So, we waited. I left my job & back to Chennai to start treatment with the new cycle!

    It was short protocol, no BCPs used. I started with stimulation injections from Day2 after a scan. Then the journey went on & by scan around CD6 doc said, I have 4-5 healthy follicles. That count was much lower than the last time. Still I had some healthy follicles, so, moved on! I had my research exams around the expected egg collection day, had some confusion, and still moved on. Around CD8, doc cleared me for exams, but I have to take injection before going for exams! It was like a race to write those 2 exams, managed it along with injections & scan. Studies & these running took my mind off the treatment. Healthy eating, mom took care of it! By CD10 scan, doc decided my EC on CD12 & hCG shot accordingly. They collected some 10 or more follicles and more than 5 turned out to be good embryos.

    I didn’t bother about sperm quality, number of follicles or embryos. I never initiated the talks on those factors myself. I left everything to GOD & doc. On ET day when the doc checked for bladder condition, I was ready for transfer; so, no more delay. Embryo transfer went smooth, no mistiming! As usual they had a man to handle things and this time, I didn’t bother to look at anyone, but the guy did the things well compared to women operators! Doc showed the embryos to me and showed the whole transfer process through ultrasound. It was a good feel. I relaxed to the best. For some reason they left me in the ET table itself for close to half an hour then that guy shifted me to another bed & rested there for more than 2 hours. Then I left home in car. I was given with vaginal progesterone gel each day night & progesterone injection every alternate day.

    I returned to mom’s care. I had 5 days of full bed rest, lying flat. I got up just for toilet visits, taking bath & to eat. After that I did minimal non-straining walking to hall or inside room. I felt back pain because of lying flat for long, and then turned sides slowly. After that I took things light. My elder brother’s kid (3+ years) gave diversion whenever he visited. We used to draw, paint, cut them & paste them in new place. He used to bring his toys too and play alongside. I played with him, controlled my movements and didn’t strain much! That was good entertainment for me. I used HP audio books to accompany other lonely times. All these really helped me to occupy the 2WW without much thinking on results.
     
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  5. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    By the end of 2WW, hospital instructed for home collection of blood sample for beta hCG. I wasn’t ready to check the results, scared. DH called the blood test center to know the count. It was 200+, felt relieved. Then I made the call to hospital to know the next level. They asked to come after a week for basic scan to rule out ecotopic pregnancy. I started to feel the skin irritation resulting from progesterone injections, prescribed with tablets to control it. When I went to hospital, doc saw single sack, showed to me as well. No feelings came to me other than more relief! Dh was shown the sac and asked to come after 2 weeks to check the growth. Because of the persisting irritation my progesterone injection dosage reduced & gel usage increased, still it didn’t stop with me! Only self control was helping, managed to control myself to stop the tablet for it!

    Then I went to hospital by 7W to check the baby’s heart beat. Things were fine, there were some activity in the heart, don’t know it was fully established or not. Doc, showed the baby to DH! Forgot me! :-( Next visit was 9W scan, mom came with me so, doc showed the baby only to me and I heard the heart beat as well. I was more relieved. Baby has formed the proper human like structure by then! That image got fixed in brain! ;-) Doc said next would be first trimester screening. By the end of it, I will be much closer to second trimester and things will be more stable. I had the scan by 12W. Waiting was worst, managed to get the scan with difficulties as baby didn’t come to some required position. Got the scan report and looking forward to better time. :thumbsup

    I had fresh blood spotting by 9W margin after the scan. I was scared to core again. Rested in bed and prayed to god. Didn’t inform mom, brothers or anyone as I don’t want to scare anyone & their thoughts will haunt me more. I don’t want any negative feeling or negative energy near me! I prayed to my favorite GOD MURUGA. Read Kandha Sasthi to calm my mind. Called my dh after a while & told him about it. He advised to rest and couldn’t talk more. It was the very first time in our life he has heard my feeble voice. After that spotting, little brown discharge came & it got settled by afternoon. Then things improved. DH called later & confirmed things must be fine. He said some blood vessels or tissues must have got disturbed. I didn’t even inform hospital. It might seem I am crazy, but I know it’s normal as long as it wans’t more blood. I had little brown discharge for few days along with gel & doc said if it’s not a fresh blood not to worry. I put extra caution with vaginal gel insertion after that. That made the things better!

    I wanted to write in IL after the beta hCG itself, but dh wanted me to wait for some more time before informing anyone. I thought after heart beat scan I can inform in IL, again some other thing stopped me, its Bella’s MC. It was hard for me. She became pregnant when I was in my 2WW, it gave me some good feeling and positive spirit. I don’t know whether our long time friendship made me to feel hard or usual culprit hormones made to feel it, I kept the news. I decided to announce the long waited pregnancy by Second trimester only! So, here it is!

    I am pregnant after 6 & half year through IVF. Though the journey wasn’t worst, I had handful! I have some troubles like food aversion & nauseous feeling which makes me to eat less; I am sticking to some fruits to move on. So far so good. Let’s watch what’s in store for me for the rest of the life! Thanks to almighty to see my little one in my womb!
    Thanks to all wonderful souls in this forum who somehow made me to move on with my ttc journey!
     
  6. Bavishya

    Bavishya Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi
    r u know blessed with kids or not?
     
  7. Prachi.B

    Prachi.B Bronze IL'ite

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    Congrats Vasumathy! :2thumbsup:

    Take Care.
     
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  8. rajinitk4

    rajinitk4 IL Hall of Fame

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    Vasumathy W8g to hear the rest of your experience. Reading your story makes me feel am not alone in this war.
     
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  9. helpmeangel

    helpmeangel Platinum IL'ite

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    Vasu,

    Waiting eagerly for the rest of your story.. I believe you have seen the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow..!! Am waiting to hear those words from you.. take lots of careee.. :)
     
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  10. luckwaves

    luckwaves Platinum IL'ite

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    I just jumped in to break the curiosity :) yes yes she is blessed and finally saw her BFP :party
    Rest from her own sweet words :)

    Happy for you vasu and congrats once again :) you are a role model to most of us here . Hats off to your effort and patience dear.
     
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