Depressed and Frustrated - need help!

As many of you know, I have a bad grade 3 pcos and doctors ruled out natural conception in my case.. I was about to start fertility treatments and found out I was preggy!! I was on cloud 90 (yes, ninety!!) and it all ended up soon when I miscarried in 6th week... Then the story of struggles and hopes started...

After switching many gynos and REs, I settled upon a good fertility center before 3 months and am happy with docs there. Even they were surprised to know I got preggy naturally with severe pcos. They put me as an example of classic grade 3 pcos with almost every possible effect and symptom of pcos. I never ovulate and since 17, I never had a period without medication. If I skipped tabs for n months, I would end up without periods for n months. I once wanted to test and stopped taking meds all together. I didn't have a period for 18 months, after which I started meds again and had a period.
I still have no idea how I conceived, but that gave me a ray of hope. They wanted to right away go for laproscopy and then iui, but then since there are chances that am naturally ovulating, they decided to first go for natural cycles with assistive ovulation drugs...
Meanwhile, with all basic blood works, I found out I am highly diabetic and intermitently hypertensive. BP sometimes shoots upto 190/96 and sometimes its normal with 120/90. They asked me to maintain a separate profile from diabetician and this doc has put me on insulin injections and glycomet.
Day 3 fsh was 2.98 and I have no idea whether it's fine or not. With all the assistive ovulating drugs, and scans, we found out that follicle size isnt growing beyond 10mm. They found around 90 multiple immature cysts on both the ovaries included. They dropped the idea of natural cycle and decided we would go for iui. Increased the medication dosages, endo thickness grew upto 7 by day 21 (they scanned on 13th, 16th, 18th and 21st days) my largest follicle still measured 10mm :-( They decided to start a new cycle and this time they prescribed a whole basket full of medicines each day from day 3.
I am 28 and married for 1 year and 1 month. I know, the real fight haven't started yet and I haven't even entered the main gate of the field, as I haven't even been through iui or ivf. But, something is pulling me down and I started mentally preparing myself that I can never be a mother. I am stressed out beyond explanation and I find myself waking up in mid of the night, surfing for success stories of pcos. I feel am turning a negative character from within, because I envy on any woman who conceives. My younger cousin who got married after me is carrying and relatives started questioning me. And with all these, the next day BP shoots up high. Hubby is extremely supportive and cooperative, but I end up screaming on him saying he wont understand this ever...I try to stay calm and believe in God, but I am finding it difficult to get this out of my mind. To add to this, there are pregnant women and babies all around me, neighbors, relatives, friends.....
I know thinking positive helps, but please help me with this, someone please tell me things will be ok

 

I did sai baba parayanam once in my intermediate (and got good results too ) Thank you for reminding me. Gonna get my period in one or 2 days... will start as soon as am done with it

 

Thank you Vijima..

 

I just hope so lucky!! Thank you so much..

 

Thanks mithra. And I feel I am so lucky to get frnds here in IL whom I can share my feelings with when I feel low and trust me, you all make me smile