Our life with out SPERM (long post)

Endlesshope · Jun 23, 2012

Hi all am new to the forum,here looking for answers and support. Please please let me know your thoughts and suggestions as I really don't know whom where or what to look for.
A li'l about me and my dh
Me: 27 yrs no issues [as of now]
Dh[a very very good looking guy 6'2" exceptionally intelligent and everything a woman would want]: 33 yrs Non Obstructive Azoospermia[NOA], partial sertoli only syndrome screwed up hormones i.e low testosterone ,high FSH and low LH.

Had close to about 7 Semen Analysis[SA]. The first one had 2000 sperm but after that every time we went in for a SA it was 0 sperm.

We have been married[arranged but crazily in love] for 4 years for now,we tried for about an year before we got ourselves chkd, and hell broke loose, when we found out that dh had NOA.
Three months after we found out we went in for a TESE[testicular biopsy where they cut in lil tissue of the testicle looking for sperm]. He was not on any medication as the urologist thought it would not help. We were in for more heart break with a failed TESE. The doc said tissue looks fine and healthy but the diagnosis was partial sertoli only cell syndrome.
While dh was sedated and in the OT, doc came and told me that no sperm was found and it probably is gods will that we have no kids and get over it. And few other stupid things like " think that you had kids and they just died".
We were heart broken and lost and decided to change our urologist.

So the new doc[supposedly one of the best in the USA] put us on clomid and armidex for the last six weeks. We just went in for a SA and it was the same result 0 sperm. And the doc suggested MTESE [Micro tese is more extensive than TESE where they totally open up the testicles and search thoroughly] in another three months.He is still on clomid for next three months. I am really hoping the medication works and we find sperm in a natural way.

We are at end of the rope totally lost and devastated. I really don't want my dh to go through MTESE as its very painful and hes going to lose a lot of tissue down there. My very sweet hubby is ok with donor sperm but I am not, I am really hoping for biological child of our own you know a baby with eyes nose cute lil mannerisms like my dh.
Things have been going really rough for us for the past 2years where we had to sell our house and close up the savings account and really sour relationship with PILS [ FIL was mad at DH for getting chkd and for saying he had no sperm ,they took a wedding anni vacation when there son was going through TESE]. Found out that my co-sis has conceived. I hate to see my Dh feel like he has let me down. I have prayed fasted done everything one could do starting from sai sat charithra, solah somvar vrath, Chandi yagam, rudra homam, ganesha homama we even went to a psychic yes you name it and we have done it. I really don't know what we did to deserve this,i dont see logic or reason in anything you know like when were kids we were taught good things happen to good people and stuff like that, I seemed to have lost faith in god and principles and values and at the edge of going crazy. All I have going for us right now is hope, hope that things will eventually change for better .I am not gonna give up until i have my beautiful baby in my hands.

I know that this post has been a bit random and vague, but i really had to vent and get it out. Finally after 2 years of fighting with life I am kinda physically and emotionally tired and having trouble staying positive so please all you wonderful ladies and men keep us in your prayers and thoughts and all suggestions are welcome. All we need is as less as 10 sperm for IVF so please guys please pray for us.

DDC · Jun 23, 2012

Great job firing that heartless idiot of a Dr.

Sounds like your DH & you are on the same page & that is precious. My prayers for a happy healthy baby soon. Keep the hope.

KalpanaJay · Jun 23, 2012

Don't worry, I will keep you in my prayers. Some miracle will happen and do not lose hope at any point of time.
Do not lose hope in God. Keep trust and something will happen for sure. All the best

luckwaves · Jun 23, 2012

Dear OP,

My hugs to you dear... Really appreciate your boldness ... You will be in my prayers .. Wish all these tough time should end soon and wish to see your success story soon ... Don leave the almightys legs ... Just hold tight ... Soon he will answer your prayers ...

Loads and loads of baby dust to you dear ....

Endlesshope · Jun 23, 2012

Thank you ladies. I really don't understand as to what made god think we deserved zero sperm, hopefully all these wishes from you guys will get through to him. I know that we ( me and dh) are good people we haven't hurt anybody willingly or the otherways. ESP dh ,he has always been a really good husband to me and really good son to pils and my parents I can't understand why he has to go through this pain. Sad part is he just loves kids , he was emotionally ready to have kids even before I was. I just don't know how to make it alright. MTESE is the end of the road for us to have any biological children of our own.
Please do keep the wishes and prayers coming. Also any other suggestions like food ,exercise , medication would be great.

ssm014 · Jun 23, 2012

Felt really bad seeing your post dear...

I know how you must be feelng with donor sperms. my cousin bhabhi had many failed treatments as her egg quality was too bad. She failed IVF as well and was suggested to go for donor eggs. It was a decision that was not easy for them.

2 yrs down the line, they just had 2 cute little boys thru IVF. (we are not sure if they did use donor eggs...but ist the end result that mattered)

have you explored Ayurveda? I remember reading some very old threads in IL on azoospermia of some ayurvedics treatments in Kerala for the same

Have posted a few threads on Azoospermia in my reply in this thread, please go through them if possible

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/f...t-good-andrologist-urologist.html#post2304615

wish u the best

subhadra20 · Jun 24, 2012

Dont worry dear for sure god will answer your prayer!!!!!!!!! Actually we are also under medication and ttc for 6 yrs. one of our family friend suggest us unani medicine, they told even with english medicine u can have this and he told for low sperm count it ll really help a lot.. The shop name is imcops in Thiruvanmiyur, chennai and the other shop s in triplicane, chennai medicals near vasan eye care.

all the best!!!!!!!

Saisakthi · Jun 24, 2012

Dont Worry dear sister, You will be surely in our prayers and May Baba bless you soon with the Bundle of Joy crawling in your laps.

Best Wishes,

SuccessMinded · Jun 24, 2012

all I can say is that i understand your feelings. The feeling to have a baby of our own is so special.
Don't give up hope.

My 2 cents:

since age is on your side, don't rush for donor sperm just yet. Since your DH had 2000 sperm in the beginning, I am sure it can go up again. And we all know you just need 10 for IVF.
Try taking some sperm enhancing vitamins for him. You can go to a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) and they may recommend some. Start exercising both of you and have good foods.
Take 2-3 more years, till you reach close to 30 and then take the final plunge if nothing else works out for donor sperm.
but i am sure you will not need to do that and will have a baby of your own who will be a duplicate of your DH.
My prayers are with you. Have a positive atttitude and don't have victim mentality that why is all this happening to me.
You didn't ask God why when he gave you good things. So just know in your heart that all will be alright and when you look back at this 5 years down the line with your own baby sleeping in your arms, none of this struggle will matter.

My best wishes and prayers,
SN