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Why can't the English speak like the English?

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Dec 20, 2009.

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  1. Dec 20, 2009 #1
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    English, English!

    People, who know me well, always politely refuse to accompany me to any English movie despite the fact that I pay for the tickets usually. It is because of my annoying habit of laughing at the wrong scenes. Being a sole laugher at critical scenes, I cause a lot of heads turn towards me and my people find it very annoying. Please do not attribute this to my queer sense of humor or consider me as some kind of a heartless person who rejoices at others’ sufferings. The reason is very simple. I just cannot follow the dialogues of an English movie.

    This is not a congenital problem of mine. I really had no problem in the days of classics like Benhur, Ten Commandments, Gone with the Wind and My Fair Lady when the characters spoke English like the English. Then started the deluge of westerns, thrillers, war movies and what have you! The characters in these movies mostly hissed their words and spoke through their teeth in tune with the menacing nature of their roles. Their English became alien to me and when actors like James Coburn started ruling the screen, that was the time I started laughing at the wrong places! Like Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady, I started lamenting,

    But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.
    Why can't the English,
    Why can't the English learn to speak?

    As more such pictures flooded the market, my ill-timed laughing assumed sinister proportions. My daughters pleaded with me with folded hands to remain cool arguing that if I could not follow the dialogues, there was no need to cover up my inability with such derisive laughter. As I grew older, my hearing also became less sharp and that made my goodbye to English movies inevitable!

    For a while I tried the cartoons but the guys who lent their voices to the cartoon characters made sure that only the Donald Ducks and Mickeys would understand them. Of course, I was better off with cartoons anyway since the audience were laughing all the time and my ignorant laughter just got drowned in the din. I had no fear of ill-timed laughter here but my complex grew more and more intense at having to keep a straight face while laughing for wrong reasons.

    I have now solved the problem by confining myself to cartoons like Tom and Jerry, Road Runner and Mr.Bean where not a single word is spoken by anyone. I watch them and laugh clutching my sides without a care in the world or any feeling of guilt. Looking at me, mind you not at the cartoons, every one around me starts laughing! If I need to watch a movie because of all the rave reviews it receives, I see it with English sub titles. There is a problem though. I miss all the actions that go on while I read the sub titles which keep changing at lightening speed. In many cases, the sub titles get printed in Chinese labs and that makes the English text altogether different. More laughter follows from my side leaving people wondering what it is this time!

    To overcome this deficiency, I took to horror movies like The Exorcist in which the spirit spoke the lingo in reverse syllables which no one understood! Watching the ghastly girl possessed by the evil spirit speaking in a man’s guttural voice, there was no possibility for laughing ill or well timed! The only feeble laughter you ever heard in the theatre was to overcome one’s feeling of intense fear similar to the huge noise we make while traversing a dark lonely alley on a New Moon day! It is an occasion when our own loud voice keeps us company and reduces our fright!

    I miss all those guys like Rex Harrison, Sir Richard Burton, James Mason, Sir Alec Guinness and the like who were part of those enjoyable classics. Listening to them speak was like music. Those were the days when I could understand the language well, laugh at the right places and leave the theater with my head held high when the movie ended!
    MPS
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2023
    Cheeniya, Dec 20, 2009
    Cheeniya, Dec 20, 2009
    #1
    sindmani, iyerviji, mikku and 2 others like this.
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  2. Dec 20, 2009 #2
    Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear cheeniya sir,

    I was just retiring when I saw you had at last posted something…..of course you are joking but I really have a problem the first half hour of an english movie till I get used to the accent, voice modulation or whatever..and both dh and dd will hush me if I ask them for an explanation..:bonk

    I do not know which is more embarrassing .... ill timed laughter or a joke not understood.....both can be equally bad ….of course now most of the movies come with subtitles and it has become a sort of habit to READ rather than HEAR …

    hahaha and why do they translate the songs…sometimes they come with the most ridiculous translations which makes me:rotfl:rotfl

    A nice post to end my day....…good night to you…
     
    Mindian, Dec 20, 2009
    Mindian, Dec 20, 2009
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  3. Dec 20, 2009 #3
    Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh, Sri, happy to be here. I am still admiring your inimitable style.

    Some time back, there was a finalization of the words that should be included in the oxford dictionary, and at the time I read a article that talked about english language and customs being exported to newer pastures from England two centuries ago and the new version of the same being returning to haunt some. I think this is a possible reason to answer your question.

    Before going to the movies, have you watched the new ads for some english speaking guru?? or rapidex english speaking courses and the way the presenter talks..

    there was this movie outsourced and believe me the subtitles of the movie left me wanting :rant. most of the subtitles and translations are outsourced to China off late and the result is as you say.

    And I have watched Veda increasing the volume to the maximum complaining he can't understand what is being spoken..now i wonder if it was the accent, the pitch that was difficult or was is it made so..

    Watching chitti chitt bang bang is a pleasure compared to the recent movies.

    Maybe you should write one on the tanglish,hinglish and globish (that is my coin for the global english:biglaugh:biglaugh)
     
    Shanvy, Dec 20, 2009
    Shanvy, Dec 20, 2009
    #3
  4. Dec 20, 2009 #4
    Deaf woman

    Deaf woman Senior IL'ite

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    Dear cheeniya sir,
    I thought these subtitles are a boon to me in enjoying movies until i get to read them for the first time.My son bought a dvd of "Jodhaa akbar"and he asked me to watch it with him because its subtitled .When i started reading them,i couldn't understand a word of it and started laughing.Only zee studio or star movies show movies with good english subtitles .Heard Satyam theatre is screening hindi movies now with subtitles .Hope they are better than the old DVD s i saw till now.Planning to go there tomorrow ,hope i won't embarass my family by laughing .
     
    Deaf woman, Dec 20, 2009
    Deaf woman, Dec 20, 2009
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  5. Dec 21, 2009 #5
    natpudan

    natpudan Gold IL'ite

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    i do agree with you.

    world over things have changed a lot - for good or bad depends on the way we look at it. can we stop them or change them?

    what crossed my mind immediately was - why can't the tamil speak like the tamil?

    it's applicable to all languages.

    the passing comments, jokes, the sms type of exchanges my daughters use / speak is very difficult for me to catch up and they hit their foreheads when i don't understand.

    so forget me understanding what they speak in the english / tamil movies. hats off to you for giving a try to understand the movies.

    i don't understand & follow the english songs as well. even the tamil songs i am unable to understand. i can only hear the music which eats the lyrics.

    cartoons like tom & jerry, mickey are universal & have no language barriers.

    talking about the sub-titles, regional dubbing, they are hilarious than the actual comedy that's in the movie.

    a friend of mine said i will have to watch a hanuman movie which they had watched several times earlier. i thought the movie must be really good. but then i realised that was due to the hilarious dubbing. i am yet to watch and i am eagerly waiting to see it along with them.

    i see english movies only for the action and i enjoy jackie chan's movies for a simple reason that he speaks as good as me, his actions speak more than he does.

    i can never imagine watching conversational movies and the unbelievable x men, y men type movies, etc. primary reason being as you said i don't have the patience or the knowledge to follow what they speak.

    i make sure i read the reviews if at all i will have to watch those movies.

    happy watching and happy deciphering the language used.
     
    natpudan, Dec 21, 2009
    natpudan, Dec 21, 2009
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  6. Dec 21, 2009 #6
    Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    Sir,
    I have always been very poor in languages,science,maths, history,geography- actually i can't still think of anything that iam good at.

    Medium of instruction for my primary school was malayalam, while my mother tongue was tamil, learned hindi and marathi and english in school. What an avial of language and so i was never good at anything except in the lap of slumber.

    I can't understand english movies, also english songs. To improve my language skill in Bahasa Malaysia (malay language) i used to watch the english movies which has sub titles in malay language, hoping i can connect two together. It is fiasco, when i read the sub titles and try to decipher the meaning the scene has already elapsed and it looks the sub title and the scene has no connection.

    I tried speaking english with an accent though iam not in US or UK, just that my bosses are expatriate. This affected accent gives away at times, traces of my indian slang emerges. I sounded phoney, though there are many such people who have not crossed the sea yet have a slang (am not talking abt the call centre workers).

    So now i just watch movies if i can understand well and good,prefer silent movies, i sincerely hope they give out the scripts for the movie ahead so that it is easy to get the jokes or lest it falls flat.

    We in Malaysia,we don't go to theatres that avidly,it is once in a way feature, i stick to Discovery,animal planet and national geography where pictures speaks volume than language.

    I know Sir ! you can understand well , but making light of any topic is your forte which you have succeded.
    Jaya
     
    Jpatma, Dec 21, 2009
    Jpatma, Dec 21, 2009
    #6
  7. Dec 21, 2009 #7
    Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    .

    Venkat, both dh and myself, are also sailing in the same boat. two days back it was heebee jeebees...and dh wanted to know the meaning. though i remembered something vague (a music album), had to look at the urban dictionary.:idea:bonk. No wonder, landmark has a new genre of dictionaries these days.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2009
    Shanvy, Dec 21, 2009
    Shanvy, Dec 21, 2009
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  8. Dec 21, 2009 #8
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear Mindi
    You have no idea how much you have gone up in my estimation now after hearing that you take just about 30 minutes to get used to the 'accent, voice modulation or whatever' of an English movie! You sound almost like the computer on board the 2001 Space Odyssey that could read the lip movement from a KM to know what people are talking about! You have established your clear superiority over me there.

    Not understanding a joke is a lot more common malady than ill-timed laughter. If you don't follow a joke and consequently do not laugh, people just dismiss you as just being a grumpy person. Laughing at wrong places reveals a touch of insanity on the contrary!

    To tell you the truth, when there are sub titles, I invariably mute the sound so that I can understand the sub titles without unnecessary confusion.

    Thanks for the first FB, Mindi. Very sweet of you really!
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Dec 21, 2009
    Cheeniya, Dec 21, 2009
    #8
  9. Dec 21, 2009 #9
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear Shan
    Thanks a lot for the laudatory opening sentence! It is always a pleasure to have you write a FB to my threads because of the additional inputs you give to my rambling!

    That explanation about the returning natives adding masala to the pristine English makes a lot of sense. Talking of addition of words to the dictionary, there was this dictionary that got published about a couple of decades back. The compiler collected all the unused or rarely used words of the dictionary and gave them new meaning. There was even a word for the residual bits of hair that got stuck to the wash basin after the man finished his shaving!

    I have not had the pleasure of watching the English Gurus in action. I do read the Know your English column of the Hindu occasionally but they hardly discuss anything that we do not know!

    I have a fear that China would very soon 'own' the English language through their sub titles. Jackie Chan would be the equivalent of Sir Richard Burton or Rex Harrison!

    All this Tanglish and globish will soon vie for honour with the gibberish!

    My love to Veda. How is the old boy?
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Dec 21, 2009
    Cheeniya, Dec 21, 2009
    #9
  10. Dec 21, 2009 #10
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir

    This time also Mindi overtook me in giving the first fb. Everyday I was seeing whether you have posted anything new but yesterday I dont know how I did not notice this post. Anyway Mindi is my dearest friend and she is a great writer and her fbs are too good. I just want to give fb to your post whether my fb is good or not.

    I agree with JPatma that you can understand well but making light of any topic is your forte which you have succeeded

    I have not seen much English movies except for one or two and I have to see the Dictionary for some words written by some good writers here though I have studied in a Convent School.

    JPatma is also very humble in saying she is poor in languages when she writes so well.

    One South Indian friend of mine is there who always speaks in accent in English, for everything she will say so sweet. But though she speaks in accent her dressing is like a south indian only, sometimes does not dress properly. But she used to work for MD sometiems when his Secretary was notthere.

    Sorry my fb became too long

    Regards
    viji
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2009
    iyerviji, Dec 21, 2009
    iyerviji, Dec 21, 2009
    #10
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