The skewed priorities!

Dear Cheeniya sir,
What you have said about present day cricket is very true. Money rules. But then, even before this and may be when the soul entered my body, from that day on, I have not had interest for sports! I just don't know why!
Even as I am typing out this FB to you my dear MIL is watching 20-20 match between God knows whom and whom! God bless her, she does have another interest other than food!
Love,
Malathi

Originally Posted by Cheeniya

Dear Malathi
I can easily relate to your feelings about sports in general and cricket in particular. I have observed intense lovers of this game slowly becoming intense haters thanks to all the behind-the-scene machinations that go on to prefix the outcome of the match. The problem is that the stakes have become so high that it is not played as a game any more but as a business. Gone are the days of W.G.Grace who played cricket as pure art form. Cricket has gone into total disrepute due to the power hungry and money hungry czars of the game. Compared to cricket, the fake WWF matches appear more authentic and true to life. Despite all this, most of us have become such addicts that we keep watching it notwithstanding the fraud that is played on the gullible. It is like being a chronic alcoholic or a drug addict who knows that his time will be up soon but still can't give up!

Your take on the limited exposure of the women of yesteryears is interesting. Some six decades back and before that, a woman was a monarch of all she surveyed within the four walls of her kitchen. The only way that she could establish her indispensability was through the quality of her cooking. She turned out day after day really mouth watering items of food but hardly got any appreciation from her usually grumpy husband. The appreciation, if at all, was only indicated by an empty plate that would hardly require cleaning after his eating! Over a period of time, this schedule got totally ingrained in her psyche and her main parameter for evaluating happiness became feeding people. It is but natural that such old timers continue to live in that world in which food is the measure of all happiness and contentment!
Sri

Dear Malathi
Day before yesterday, my mum (95 years) was watching the match between Chennai and Rajasthan but went to sleep a few minutes before the match ended. Next morning she wakes up and the first question she asks is, "Nethikki yaaru jaicha?" ! (Who won yesterday?) Normally she would ask me if I have had my coffee but the cricket fever has caught her too! At least for the next few days, food won't be on top of her list!
Sri

Dear Cheeniya Sir,
I am new here but after I joined this forum I spend atleast an hour everyday listening to you all... I just loved that one about your father reading 'The Hindu In detail in the comfort of his office'!! Yes, both men and women were different then. They had different kind of priorities. Generally men made money and whether they made money or not women managed the household. Feeding the entire lot who lived under their roof was the women's priority. My mother was like that. Ours was a household where atleast 50 people ate,slept and lived under one roof plus the regular guests. With the result we children never had any quality time with our parents. But when we were living that life we never felt or undertood that this was missing. We probably assumed that life was supposed to be lived like that! By the time the realization came to us it was too late.. They both were gone!
I have to admit I love your senile rumblings. Please don't stop rumbling...
Monifa

Dear Cheeniya Sir, I didn't know you were sick and was talking to you.Sorry about that. Hope you have completely recovered. I am chanting Maha Mrithyunjya Japa for you from yesterday. I wish you and your family very 'Happy Deepawali'. Will talk to you when you
feel better. Will wait for your ramblings on IL......

Dear Monifa
A small correction. It was my mother who was unwell and subsequently passed away on the 7th of this month. This is my first post after that huge calamity rendered me physically and spiritually immobile. I am slowly limping back to normal now.

I should say that the way you have painted a vivid picture of your childhood in a large family makes one want to go through a similar experience. Honestly, all this talk about spending quality time is just pedagogic. Secondly, everyone talks as though spending quality time with the children would be possible only if the family was compact. Most of the eminent sons and daughters of yore were brought up in very large joint families who probably never could manage a few precious private moments with their parents. But then they could imbibe all the culture and the benefit of good upbringing from the all pervading family ambiance.

What is important is the ability to forge a feeling of togetherness even if very little communication takes place!

Thank you for the nice words about my ramblings. Rest assured that rambling is something I love!
Sri

Originally Posted by Cheeniya

Dear Monifa
A small correction. It was my mother who was unwell and subsequently passed away on the 7th of this month. This is my first post after that huge calamity rendered me physically and spiritually immobile. I am slowly limping back to normal now.

I should say that the way you have painted a vivid picture of your childhood in a large family makes one want to go through a similar experience. Honestly, all this talk about spending quality time is just pedagogic. Secondly, everyone talks as though spending quality time with the children would be possible only if the family was compact. Most of the eminent sons and daughters of yore were brought up in very large joint families who probably never could manage a few precious private moments with their parents. But then they could imbibe all the culture and the benefit of good upbringing from the all pervading family ambiance.

What is important is the ability to forge a feeling of togetherness even if very little communication takes place!

Thank you for the nice words about my ramblings. Rest assured that rambling is something I love!
Sri

Dear Cheeniya Sir
I'm sorry again! Can't find any new words to console you but kindly accept my heartfelt condolences. They say that the Time heals everything but I always felt that certain wounds are better left raw and untouched by the time because I want to feel the pain again and again in my heart for my beloved departed ones...

Whatever you have said regarding the joint families are absolutely true. We learnt tolerance, caring and sharing, to show abundant love, to be unselfish, to seek knowledge and to be very practical - amongst many other things in life. But as for the saying 'you cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore' goes, I feel that many of us were pushed or just dropped into the ocean when we were not ready or matured enough for that adventure. So, please understand that I was not complaining when I mentioned about missing my parents but it's the child in me that always yearned for that 'shore' where you can always feel the firm ground under your feet and the security like living inside a cocoon.

Cheeniya Sir! I have admired you, appreciated you and adored your sense of humour but to be honest now I am jealous of you... God had let you spend 67 wonderful years with such a marvelous person - your mother! May God bless her soul, bless you and your family...
With regards
monifa13

Dear Monifa
I always felt that certain wounds are better left raw and untouched by the time because I want to feel the pain again and again in my heart for my beloved departed ones.
That was a great statement. But the memory of a loved one will cease to be painful with the efflux of time. When we say that time is a great healer, we only mean that it will heal only the pain but will never interfere with the intensity of the memory which again is directly proportional to the intensity of our relationship with the departed. My mother's memory is whipping up a lot of flashback of the beautiful time I spent with her even as the pain of her parting is slowly subsiding.

What I had written in my reply to you was in the context of the 'quality time' that the parents wished to spend with the children. Any time spent with the children is quality time from the children's point of view. They just long for the company of their parents and they just want as much of it as possible. The parents need not be obsessed with the quality of the time that they spend with their children. What is most important is being with each other.

I am touched by your expressions. Looks like my family has now got bigger with an addition of a daughter from Australia!
Sri

Thanks Cheeniya Sir.. I was moved to tears reading the last lines in your reply. That's really very nice of you to have said that. I was born and brought up in Trichy but lived in Chennai for a while and settled in Australia now. Every year we go to India but I don't go to Chennai at all because I don't have anyone there. I am missing so many people and things now but this can't be helped and life goes on....

Dear Monifa
All I want you to understand in life is that no one is alone.
I have myself been in tight spots in my life and had given up all hopes of redemption but every time, someone always walked in to redeem me. Incredible are His ways.
Sri