An appalling crisis!

Dear Abha
I am of the view that you should not get unduly worried about this indifference of your son to his studies. This is very typical of adolescence. Growing from childhood to adolescence is the most complicated process in the entire life cycle of man. This is a period that a child slowly outgrows the feeling of dependence and the new quest for independence affects different children in different ways. Most children demonstrate this emergence of the desire for independence through defiance of parental authority. This is just a passing phase and they outgrow this tendency very fast. An understanding parent will be careful not to impose authority during this stage as the outcome of such pressure can be catastrophic.
I have seen many cases like your son becoming outstanding youngmen in course of time. Please dont get unduly exercised by this attitude of your son!
Sri

Cheeniya Sir,
Another thread discussing day-to-day or shall we call 'seasonal' crisis'.

.Irony is, the children for those families who could not afford, study well, have interest in studies and want to achieve more.
But for those families who can afford, children show lack of interest in studies.
(exceptions are here too).

As pointed out earlier by Vidya--essentials for the life has to be made available to everyone without any burden.
As Bharathiyar pointed out in his poem---'if there is no food for a single person, we should burn the whole world' as such we can also add to that 'education for everyone'.
This is our dream, isn't it!

sriniketan

Dear Sri
This reminds me of the famous adage 'Kallai kandal naaya kanom, naayai kandal kallai kanom'! I think that it is possibly due to the fact that poor students have not much scope for diversion and they are forced to spend more time on studying while the affluent boys have plenty to take their minds away from their studies!

I agree that education is a fundamental right and as such free education is available upto the 10th standard in Tamilnadu and these schools produce very good results of late.

Incidentally, the 'Kallai kandal naaya kanom' saying has a different meaning altogether based on Thirumoolar's Thirumanthiram. If there is an exquisite sculpture of a dog carved out of a stone, the stonesmith will only see the quality of the stone used but a sculptor will not see the stone but only the figure of a dog carved out. Thirumoolar's example is an elephant carved out of wood in the following verse:
மரத்தை மறைத்தது மாமத யானை
மரத்தின் மறைந்தது மாமத யானை
பரத்தை மறைத்தது பார்முதல் பூதம்
பரத்தை மறைந்தது பார்முதல் பூதமே
Sri

Dear Cheeniy sir,

I went thru all the fbs & yr post befor penning my fb.

I want to tell u all about myself. In my school going days, I was an average student and Maths was a forbidden subject but my elder brother was the gifted one. He used to work hard also to get good marks hence things at home were son oriented. He cleared his 10th & +2 with flying colours everybody was very proud of him. He got an engineering seat with merit and was admitted to one in mysore. He was staying there with my grandma & uncle's family. My family was a middle class family with my father as the sole bread winner. He had lot of hopes on his son. He was also tuned to the family's burden and studied very well.Scored the 6th rank in the university and was offered a nice job in my father's organisation (people were dying to get into the same) we all thought our financial crisis would be over. We had a meeting of sorts and decided to construct a house in Chennai as we had a plot over there. Everything went fine, suddenly one day my brother dropped the bombshell that he was not interested in this materialistic world and would want to take sanyas. He joined chinmaya mission to pursue his chosen path. After all the troubles my parents took, now my brother is full time sanyasi. We had to literally pitch in every pie during the crucial eriod. Seeing all this I did not have any inclination to pursue my studies and joined for a job immediately (though was very much interested to have a career in interior designing or beautician) due to the financial crunch. My father took a VRS to get me married and he breathed his last also before 6 yrs. My mother was totally alone though now my brother is staying with her commenting on everything food, way of thinking etc. I still have the pain that I had to foresake my ambition but have a more satisfied feeling that I have been a dutiful daughter and my father really loved me so much.

Why I am telling all this is whether a daughter or son education is important but the person also should understand the situations of the family. We as parents go out of our way to make our kids educated (give them the best of education) they also have the same kind of responsibility. Kids should have alternatives also not only an engineer or doctor or software ..

Oops sorry, My fb has become too long.

Dear Lalitha
This is the second time, I am hearing of such an incident. A similar thing happened in a close friend's family and I have seen how it shattered the parents. Their son too, after high academic achievements, spurned all offers of a job. He was not interested in marriage either and as expected, he renounced the material existence and became a sanyasi. His mother died within a year of her son breaking away from his family bond.

I must tell you here something about Kanchi Paramacharya. I was an ardent devotee of his and when he was travelling in the North, I used to go and see him every month to offer my worship. Paramacharya never allowed us to stay in his camp for more than a day urging us to get back to our families as fast as possible. A true Guru would never encourage family people wanting to take up Sanyas.

It's pity that all the parental effort to make your brother academically accomplished never figured in his decision to take up sanyas. He would have certainly known that his decision would leave the family high and dry. Even in becoming a sanyasi, he had exhibited utter selfishness! This is almost like a middle class boy, after getting the necessary education through the sacrifices of his family, getting married to an affluent girl and forgetting his parents!
Sri

Hello Sir
I am really sorry for the girl having score so good marks & nobody to praise it but taking it as a failure!
If this is only becoz she is a girl & shudn't have dreams for higher education than our society is still very much partial to males.
There are now a days so many educational loans available right in college campus & easy instalments.
And most of the time it is daughters who support their family in need emmotinally as well as physically & if possible than finacially.
Jaishree

Dear Jaishree
It is a well known and perhaps a well documented fact that girls have a greater attachment to their parents than boys. Since I have only daughters, I cant really say what the other side is like. But I can tell you that my daughters are so close to me that I never feel the absence of a son!
Sri

Originally Posted by cheeniya

Dear Jaishree
It is a well known and perhaps a well documented fact that girls have a greater attachment to their parents than boys. Since I have only daughters, I cant really say what the other side is like. But I can tell you that my daughters are so close to me that I never feel the absence of a son!
Sri

Dear Sri
It gives me immense delight to disagree with you. There is no (imaginary) well documented fact that girls have greater attachment to parents and such.. Really come on.. I opned this thread to write about an "intellectual" point of view and what do I see but some documentation which does not exist and even if it does exist is Obsolete.. I have a son and I am going to write NEW documentation that boys are more attached to parents and WILL always be (tell they get married ofcourse who am I kidding).. Anyway my visit has been served.. Since I am more likely the sole "argumentor" I can relax that my point will not be usurped in the near future

Dear AC,
With all consideration, admiration.... etc for your son, let me repeat my favourite one liner
God gives daughters only to those whom he really likes !
You are a daughter & you know what a daughter means to her parents. Iam blessed & Sri is doubly blessed !
Love,
Chithra.
Friends, I have written this purely in the lighter vain !

Originally Posted by Chitvish

Dear AC,
With all consideration, admiration.... etc for your son, let me repeat my favourite one liner
God gives daughters only to those whom he really likes !
You are a daughter & you know what a daughter means to her parents. Iam blessed & Sri is doubly blessed !
Love,
Chithra.
Friends, I have written this purely in the lighter vain !

Dear Chithra and Sri
Maybe since both of you had your heads immersed in OATS you missed the latest find - God gives a son for whom he really loves and a daughter for those whom he (kindof) likes...
Thats why you both people need to surface once in a while up from oats, bran, koolu, muesli etc and be more aware of recent happenings..
To All Friends I too have written this in the lighter vain (read "except for the above mentioned OATS community")