A typical case study!

If you are one of those who come across rude comments from readers in blog sites and similar internet forums and wonder what makes them belt out such strong comments, here is a typical case study!

It was just not my day. Everything went wrong right from the moment I stirred out of bed. Maybe I applied too much pressure on my tooth brush with the sole aim of getting that adamant stain out. The stain stayed where it was but the brush broke. A casual remark about a seedy smell coming out of the coffee brought in by my wife saw us getting drawn into a wordy combat. I knew instantly that she was going to pick on everything I did. The breakfast was as lousy as ever but I did not open my mouth except for pushing it in. The shirts and pants were not ironed. I knew what answer I would get if I sought an explanation and so decided that discretion was the better part of valour. I wore them grudgingly knowing fully that they made me look like a circus clown.

All these morning skirmishes were affecting my schedule very much and I knew that a proper dressing down from my chief was on cards. I came out of the house and saw a street dog easing itself on the rear wheel of my scooter. I mouthed some obscenity at it which my wife, who was following me to make sure that I was definitely going to be out for the day, thought was aimed at her. She gave me a full curtain raiser for the kind of dressing down I was likely to receive at the office. I was furious about the unfairness of this unprovoked onslaught but experience had taught me that it was more prudent to keep my trap shut.

I mounted my rusty scooter and tried to start it but in vain. Its recalcitrance has always amazed me. After trying to put some life into the engine through some vigorous kicking, I realised that it had decided to go in league with my wife. I would have given it one final vicious kick but observing the look on my wife's face I decided not to give shape to my thoughts. I did not want a further harangue from her, mistaking my kick as one really intended for her. I let go off my scooter and made my way to the auto stand. The only auto there had a driver who was far from being friendly. He gave me a look which seemed to imply that he did not consider me as a potential customer. The charge that he quoted sounded atrocious and when I tried to make him see reason, he looked the other way after a terse 'Savu grakki!' (Is there anyone who can please translate it for me?).

I felt humiliated as I made my way to the bus stand. I was appalled at the crowd gathered there. Every time a bus came, I tried desperately to get a foothold but got pushed down by some strong hands. After waiting for an eternity, I was accommodated in a bus that certainly did not look like being fit enough to ferry us to our destination. For once I was proved right that day as the bus broke down a kilometer from my office.

When I entered my office, I could feel all eyes on me as the office boy informed me that the Manager wanted to see me. Just as I was bracing myself to get into his room, he came out and gave me a big lecture in the full view of all those present. I did not utter a word in protest because I knew that it would make matters worse. The whole of that day, he called me in for further doses of firing on some pretext or other. I was feeling really low that I never got a chance to give it back to anyone, be it my wife or the auto driver. I realised I was too timid and the thought weighed me down further.

On my way back home at the end of the day, I got into an Internet Cafe and logged on to a popular blog site. I started belting down vicious comments on every blog posted that day. The anonymity gave me utter freedom and I made full use of it. At the end of it all, after spending all my pent up fury, I was feeling considerably perked up. I was extremely thankful that I had such a wonderful outlet. As I walked out of the cafe, I was at peace with myself.

Dear C,

Good to have you back! Loving this piece, am piecing my obnoxious comments together for the next reply. In the meanwhile, have just one pithy Mallu saying to share which goes something like, 'angadiyil thottu, ammede pidarikku keri' (having lost a scuffle in the market place, he (our protagonist) took it out on his hapless mom).

regards

Dear Sri Sir,
If that was the reason people gave bad comments, OMG, I pity them. I think I should learn to ignore those comments and not to take them to my heart. But all so will it not be better for people not to comment on other's thoughts if their day is bad? Are they not making the day of others also entirely bad. Let those doing so think over twice, before doing this.

Hi sri,

I dont know what has really made you write on this topic..but i will take it as a typical case study..but i had something on similar lines in the snippets forum under digital emotions.....

if your day is bad, just relax and stay calm..why do you want to shoulder it(rather shift it) on to another..but are you really doing that...at the end of the day...you are hurting lot of people on the way...and also losing your face....

Since i have written a full exhaustive one on the same...i don't want to say more...

Hello Cheeniya sir,

Don't we all do this in one way or the other? If something happened at the house, show it in the office or the other way round. But in the process some people feel the hurt.

If I realize, I do apologise, sometimes when I don't realise it gets carried over and I would have even forgotten the matter and will be left wondering what did I do wrong....

Regards,

Abha.

Originally Posted by Vidya24

Dear C,

Good to have you back! Loving this piece, am piecing my obnoxious comments together for the next reply. In the meanwhile, have just one pithy Mallu saying to share which goes something like, 'angadiyil thottu, ammede pidarikku keri' (having lost a scuffle in the market place, he (our protagonist) took it out on his hapless mom).

regards

Dear Vidya
Taking out our anger on hapless people appears to be a universal phenomenon! I do it too and I leave it to your guess who my hapless person could be! I look forward to your further exposition on this aspect of human behaviour.
And by the way, trust mallus to sum up such acts in the most appropriate and terse oneliners!
Sri

Originally Posted by rajmiarun

Dear Sri Sir,
If that was the reason people gave bad comments, OMG, I pity them. I think I should learn to ignore those comments and not to take them to my heart. But all so will it not be better for people not to comment on other's thoughts if their day is bad? Are they not making the day of others also entirely bad. Let those doing so think over twice, before doing this.

Dear Rajmi
My case study should not lead you to think that all rude outbursts may have similar background! The point that I was trying to make was that these acts need not be taken to heart. We must always remember Thomas Fuller's words " Contradiction should awaken attention, not passion"
Sri

Originally Posted by shanvy

Hi sri,

I dont know what has really made you write on this topic..but i will take it as a typical case study..but i had something on similar lines in the snippets forum under digital emotions.....

if your day is bad, just relax and stay calm..why do you want to shoulder it(rather shift it) on to another..but are you really doing that...at the end of the day...you are hurting lot of people on the way...and also losing your face....

Since i have written a full exhaustive one on the same...i don't want to say more...

Dear Shanthi
I am trying neither to justify nor condemn such behaviour in a public forum for whatever may be the reason. But I try to look at such aberrations in otherwise a nice person by imagining some such background for the other's ill-temper and this exercise enables me to feel less hurt.
Sri

Originally Posted by abhatv

Hello Cheeniya sir,

Don't we all do this in one way or the other? If something happened at the house, show it in the office or the other way round. But in the process some people feel the hurt.

If I realize, I do apologise, sometimes when I don't realise it gets carried over and I would have even forgotten the matter and will be left wondering what did I do wrong....

Regards,

Abha.

Dear Abha
You are right about some people carrying an imaginary scar all through their life and they do make life difficult for us.
As you have rightly pointed out, it is not uncommon to see people venting their anger on totally unconnected people. Very often we see children bearing the effect of our anger which is very unfortunate.
Sri

Dear Cheeniya sir ,
Ur case study is typical & acceptable ( also humourous ! ) . I don’t agree with shanvy’s words : “ If ur day is bad , just relax & stay calm “ –its not possible for anybody that too for a person who gets frustrated by each & everyone he happens to meet for the whole day .His outburst at the end of the day is to be taken as just an outlet for him & we should assume that he is not intentional (to hurt anyone’s feelings ) anyway . Am I right , sir ?
With regards ,
Indhu.