Boredom busters!

‘But men are different species - they follow non-alignment because of the diplomatic cowardice that they've learnt to survive with. Unfortunately, the same mentality does not hold with the same guy when it comes to matters of work. So there's always dual standards everywhere...that's a totally different issue anyway.”


Thus spake Lavanya in response to my thread on Condi and her food for thought. Reading this, everyone might think that men derive some malicious pleasure through their double, treble or quadruple standards. So I have hastened to post a thread on the plight of men and what motivates them to do what they …er…do! I actually wrote it as a piece of advice to keep the spirits high in domestic life and first I thought of revising it to make it appear like an analysis of why couples fight. But I have decided to post it as such to show that I too am supportive of these tips.

The purpose of this thread is to highlight that all fights are not malicious but are very benign aimed at keeping the interest in each other alive. Everyone knows that the ‘koodal’ after the ‘oodal’ is ever so enjoyable. I have used the word ‘oodal’ to show that these are really fake encounters like a game of chess or table tennis to keep the married life in a very fit condition. I don’t have to tell you that once the energy is expended on these fake encounters, there will be no occasion for real ones that cause disaster! It is not necessary for the husband to initiate the encounter every time. You will see how these encounters improve your vocabulary and the quality of your repartees!


It is a well-known fact that more people die of ennui than of action. The highly mechanical nature of modern life has virtually made us all a zombie. Recently I happened to come across a very interesting report in one of the western periodicals. It says that the couples who live in total harmony with each other spending most of their time in each other's company develop such striking similarity in their facial features that in a couple of decades they look more like a brother and sister than a married couple. Consequently, I presume, they lose their interest in each other but continue to live a life of total harmony as by then it becomes almost a ritual like habit for them. What a dreadful situation!


I have observed a few couples during my early morning walks who give credence to this theory. This phenomenon is said to be due to the fact that the couples described above develop a striking similarity in their responses, reflexes and expressions over any given situation due to their extreme closeness. Over a period of time they start registering identical facial expressions which leave a permanent imprint on their facial muscles. They ultimately become a mirror image of each other.


I actually started telling you how to avoid dying of ennui but got carried away. While on this subject, I may as well add that nothing can be more boring than having a husband or wife who looks, behaves and emotes exactly like you, though it can be a source of amusement for others. It is, therefore, essential that you change your way of life before boredom gets at you by the scruff of your neck. Let me give you some tips. I would like to give you my assurance that these have been personally tried by me and are very effective boredom busters!


First, while stirring your early morning coffee, ask your wife if she really sat through that stupid movie, the previous night on the TV. "Sixth time isn't it?" can be added, if necessary. Ask her the menu for lunch and wonder why she can’t learn something new. Ask her why she can't try something of Chitvish whose recipes she keeps reading whole day! Continue in this vein until you leave for your office. You may conclude the morning session with advising her not to sleep for more than two hours during the day. Normally the volcano will erupt at the first couple of questions, but some dormant volcanoes may take more time. But all volcanoes are sure to erupt before you leave for your office. A day started like that is sure to be a hit.


You have now a choice. You may continue your good work in the office also or keep a low profile at the office and continue at home in the evening from where you left off in the morning. Many people find themselves unequal to the pressures that develop in the office as an aftermath of their little observations. So they prefer to keep a very low profile in the office but compensate it at home. There are also people who cannot face the music at home and hence play havoc in the office. Either way there will never be a dull moment in your life!
Ps1: My tips are not essentially meant for husbands but being one, I have presented it as from a husband’s side. Wives may try my tips too with variations wherever necessary.
Ps 2: For Heaven’s sake don’t take me seriously! This is just a kind of satire on couples who fight at the drop of a hat.
Ps 3: There is a lighter side in every issue and if you become adept at seeing it, no fight will reach a serious proportion

Hello cheeniya sir

Really a good one.RIghtly said Depends on how you look at it.Your article will help me have positive outlook on fight with hubby dear.You wont believe the topics we used to fight in first year of marriage e.g "Which variety of mangoes are more tasty" but, yes we had a good fight on it.Now when we think of it ,.....................no words to say.

But i admit tht still when we fight now(though not for mangoes ), i keep on thinking that he doesn't love me and always wants to prove that he is superior etc.But deep in my heart i know the truth.but my adamancy to see it when i m upset wont let me accept it.

When we start talking again after a fight it is all forgotten, and my true feelings surface again after a brief nap.
So definately i will now see my fights in a more positive way.
Priti

Sir,
after reading your article, this popped up in my mind.
My grandma is staying in my younger uncle's house, where there will be a fight, which in many cases, unnecessary ,between my grandma and my aunt. When asked why she is not staying with her other son,so that she can be peaceful, she will answer, that the place where he is very cold and moreover that aunt will not talk much and my grandma is very much bored.
So my mother used to tell her that she will be bored if there is no fight.
So I see this is the reason why mil and dil fight to get the boredom out of them?
Sriniketan

Dear Cheeniya,

First accept my apologies for not giving FB for the other 2 posts....have been having a great time staying with my daughter in campus, etc.....will get back as soon as i get down to routine. Just read this so, decided to reply quickly! Good one, so promptly sat down to reply!
I also have heard abt this similarity aspect between couples....i guess the explanation you gave sounds true!
Also i am the one at home always inciting a fight and to tell you the truth , i realised that the nagging of the wife, is actually due to Boredom aspect. I had this gnanodayam long long ago, in fact within a month of married life, as i was all alone and bored the whole day in Cochin.....language problem too, all greek and latin, and hated it after Bangalore! Also Of course no in-laws to keep me otherwise occupied! So would wait and start off a FIGHT with absolutely Nothing and end up invariably being taken out for a movie( a tamil one, even if it was Vijaykanth, it was okay, and in a practically empty theatre, with rats as company!) or for Dinner in a restaurant!
So this is first hand experiences , and i must say it does keep away the BOREDOM of a otherwise Boring married LIfe! and living with the same Partner! ha ha ha....

Dear Cheeniya,

Your Boredom Busters is a block-buster thread. Husband and wife looking like brother and sister is very true. But, I feel in this either the husband or the wife should have surrendered totally to the other person. Which is not easy. Oodal and koodal will be there in the early part of married life . But the frequency of koodal will reduce and the frequency of oodal will increase in the later part of married life.

Your ideas of Boredom busters remind me of Visu in 'Thirumathi aval oru vehumathi'.

Regards,

TDU

Dear Sri,

What a post you have witten??!!

As Mr T D U put it, this post is a chart-buster as well, more because you discuss the most happening thing in our lives - oodal (invariably sparked off by the husband) & koodal (choiceless surrender from the wife's side, to keep the samaadhana kodi flying).

You literally ooze humour in this particular one, though at the cost of wives, needless to say !

I loved best your statement that the more volcanoes erupting in the home front, the more successful the day will be. How can you be so vicarious in your pleasures, Sri ?

"Idukkodu idukka" you make chitvish feel that her recipes are more fit to be read right through the day than to be tried ! Do you think, she is writing stories in her recipes?

You have written that wives too can try your tips. Well, now, let me tell you, your friend will have it from me & if he wonders why this sudden change in me, my accusing finger will be directed towards you, his dear friend, for giving me this tip !

About the striking similarity the spouses develop, over a period. When you argue (quarrel or fight), over the very same issues time & again, will not boredom set in the same way to both? No wonder there is similarity. Sad that it stops with the facial expression - otherwise, Vish should have become dark & pooshinapola & I should have become slim & fair !

Please tell your wife that I have quite a few tips up my sleeve, which I shall reveal to her in person - not in the open forum, lest you know what subtle form the attack will come !

A very delightful post in spite of the dig at us, the wives !

Love,
Chithra.

Originally Posted by chitvish

"Idukkodu idukka" you make chitvish feel that her recipes are more fit to be read right through the day than to be tried ! Do you think, she is writing stories in her recipes?

Good shot Chitra keep it up!

Cheeniya sir
That was hilarious !. A small deviation from your views ....
In my house the best method employed by my husband to fight boredom is getting pre-occupied with listening to music and browsing the net to escape my sword.(non stop wagging tongue!)

(PS: the strong urge to use the icon "tongue" says it all.)

Regards
Honeybee

Dear Priti
In one of the popular Tamil TV channels, there is a weekly contest for Ideal Couples anchored by former actress Jayashree. The best couple is selected on the basis of four parameters one of which being their ability to fight and patch up! A fight is like adding spice to a dull life. There are people who believe that if you keep fighting on minor issues, you will agree on all major issues!

You fight with your parents and siblings and you never let that fight doubt their love for you. So why should it happen when you fight with your husband? Let these fights be jolly ones and make you get closer to each other!
Sri

Dear Sriniketan
Fighting is like rubbing your hands vigorously to feel warm in a cold climate. The older people get, the greater is the boredom they feel! I can ,therefore, see your grandma's point. The only care one needs to take is that the fighting should be confined to only issues involved and NOT the personalities.
There is no winning or losing in domestic fights. You win some, you lose some.
I dont know if you have seen the fake encounters in World Wrestling Championships which children love to watch. Massive men fight for supremacy. For three minutes one wrestler will be beaten to pulp and just as you think that the wrestler so beaten will be laid to rest shortly, he will start pounding the other. This goes on until the referee decides who should be declared winner that day!
Sri