A grouch is a winner all the time!

Dear Cheeniya,
I really had a hearty laugh at the visual imagery u created about the wedding reception, the crowds and the rushing for having dinner and others looking with envy! I have not been to a wedding for long now, at least not the kind you have said....well have to attend one next time in india to make note of all these and have a hearty laugh! Not to mention the grouches......are they still in existence.....i can think of some women grouches, ...from the older generations, forever complaining.....Oh how i miss them now......
well this is the other side to it......we dont get to see them here , so we MISS them .....
Don't worry, we will give u all the respect u demand now( you have decided to become a grouch na!?) Now the question is do we avoid u or send other reps to take care of you! I am confused.....let me think! ha ha.....

Dear Sr Sri,

A thoughtful post.

We encounter grouches in our daily life as well have a stock of them in our families too. As children, we are not aware of intricacies in the relationship with a grouch except that we are advised to keep away from them and it forms a permanent aversion to those people for all future encounters. It is only when a known person who has been amiable all along changes into a grouch that we start . It makes no difference that it is a man or woman.

I would like to give my opinion about the grouches in kids.
Nowadays many parents are spoiling their kids by indulging in each and every whim and fancy of their kids and you can see many of them sulking to have their way. In family functions or parties, you can see both the parents running after these grouchy kids ignoring the guests or the hosts (as the case may be), just to ensure that the kids are smiling. While I am not generalising all kids as above, It is my personal opinion that these kids are potential grouches.

Dear Abha
That's not a very rosy picture you have painted there! I dont think the situation is that bad. Yes, there will be grouches, there will be the jealous and the envious but life will be boring if everyone is an idealist. Get used to them. But my point is dont pamper these characters at the cost of our good friends and well wishers. Wont it be possible?
sri

Dear Vandhana
It's all very easy for you to take a view that enough is enough sitting in Bay Area! Poor me in Chennai, I cant even think of a stern view like that!
Grouches thrive on the fact that we attach great importance to what others think of us. So what these grouches do is a kind of blackmail!

The question is whether we should bother about those who are likely to form an opinion of us on the basis of feedback from confirmed grouches and encourage the grouches on that score alone?
Sri

Dear Chithra
A grouch is a sidumoonji and ummanamoonji is a grumpy character!
What are you?
I agree with you on why a grouch has to be pampered. We dont do it out of love but fear that an unpampered grouch might sully our names. To this extent, we all succumb to his blackmail, dont we?
Sri

Dear Sudha
In fact my post on grouches was to elicit imformation about the existence of such characters in the west. Are you suggesting that it is an exclusively Indian phenomenon? Do you mean they dont exist in Germany? I get a feeling that there will be grouches in Germany too but in the absence of Madrasi type weddings, it is difficult to spot them there. A wedding is the best place where you can see these grouches baring their fangs!
Sri

Dear Chitra
That was a very crucial observation you have made in the concluding para of your feed back. I too have observed pampering parents in action who buy peace everytime a child makes a demand on them by just succumbing to it. This is a very dangerous trend.
I have even heard some parents justifying it saying that it grooms the child to be very aggressive in his life later on and teaches him never to take a NO for an answer!
Sri

Grouches are not indigenous to India although they are more common in Asian countries. I think its partly because of the social structure which churns the guilt machine to maintain a good name for us irrespective of the characters that blackmail us.

Though I've seen grouches in the west, they are mostly Asians expecting the same thing in this land too. Sometimes you see natives exhibiting this personality but most people don't give them undue attention unlike back home.

Thanks for this little study on grouches Cheeniya sir. Every post of yours makes me await for the next theme and post of yours...you do traverse many untrodden paths:)
I agree with Lavanya, we cannot 'make' anyone else turn us into grouches. We are one if only we want to be one. Having said that, we are responsible for the grouches. It is because we humor them and cater to their demands, that they are able to exist.
Grouches are international alright, only they may not be throwing their weight around in Kalyana Mandapams as they don't exist everywhere! But such grouches make the life of colleagues miserable at workplace, in college campus and even in hospital operating theatres! Yes, the surgeon can be a pain in the..ahem...neck! May not be in the neck of the patient, but that of his colleague or assistant:)
If they did not exist abroad, how come the word 'Grouch'?:)

Oh, by the way, in learning about the Grouch and many other morsels that you seem to throw for our minds to work on, I am indeed widening and refreshing my know how...I now know George Berkely, Kin Hubbard, Dale Carnegie...to mention a few...and waiting for more:)

L, Kamla

Dear Sri,

Aggression when channelised properly teaches a child to succeed in life. But when agression becomes second nature then a GROUCH is born and is avoided by most people.

When parents justify like this, it only shows that they have a vision which focuses only their childs physical needs and not on his or her emotional well being in the future.

Quote
I have even heard some parents justifying it saying that it grooms the child to be very aggressive in his life later on and teaches him never to take a NO for an answer!
Unquote