The perils of morning walks!

People who go regularly go for morning walks in any part of Chennai are only too aware of the uncanny behaviour of dogs and birds. For some reason, I have subjected every member of the canine family to a close scrutiny for the last two days and have found out that their behaviour is no less intriguing than that of the human beings. They keep moving all the time, they bark at all rag pickers, they cross the roads in front of your car just as the signal changes from amber to green, they can spot all those who have a morbid fear of dogs from a kilometer and conduct conversations with other members of the canine family at a decibel level that will eventually land you in the waiting room of an ENT specialist. I have even often suspected a nexus between them and the ENT specialists!


The bowel movements of the birds are even more mind-boggling. I am sure that the old Chinese relaxing along the Great Wall and well known for their betting mania must be surely betting on when and where the next bird dropping will land! The birds spare no one and are not afraid of even the most notorious protagonists of the law of ‘an eye for an eye’! This is about the only occasion when a man cannot boast of ‘paying him back by the same coin.’ The birds, as a dear friend told me once, can recognize a toilet when they see one! I have nothing against them except that they play spoil sport at the most crucial moments. Like the girl who ditches her lover with short stubs and goes with another man just because he uses Mach3 in a popular TV ad, I have known girls who ditched their boy friends bearing the tell tale marks of walking under the trees and showed a marked preference for the guys who traveled in limousines and hence were not exposed to such risks!

Let us now keep aside the birds and dogs that we encounter during our morning walks. What about the men and women who provide an equal food for thought? Not just ordinary food but a multiple course meal! I’ll not bore you here with details of well dressed, heavily perfumed, affluent women who walk around at a pace that makes temple cars appear as if Michael Schumacher is at the wheel! Nor am I going to talk about the chic ones who collectively appear as if the rainbow on the western sky has descended to the walking track.

I have heard that the Kundalini Yoga involves the awakening of the serpent power lying dormant at the base of the spine and bringing it to the base of the skull. I do not know the purpose of such a hard exercise and don’t drag me into any heated discussion about this! I am referring to this yogic exercise as you will see it being performed by any number of men in their morning walks. I refer to those men who, like Thymoor, have lost all their battles against bulging and stand as a monumental example of the havoc that the force of gravity can wreck on men! When they sight a nice looking woman closing in on them, they bring the entire bulge of the middle into their rib cage and look like the double of Johnny Weissmuller sans all the chest beating. The moment she is past the line of vision, the rib cage empties its content back into its moorings.
Other men keep a fixed smile on their face and can well be described as a mobile smiley of the Yahoo kind. They feel the pain in their jaws caused by this forced smile which they get rid of by making faces at themselves in the privacy of their toilets. Yet others behave boisterously to earn a comment that they don’t look their age at all! Yes. The morning walkers are part of the make-believe world. They get back home to the drudgery of their routine and look forward to yet another morning to feel alive again!

That was a terrific piece, cheeniya! I go for my morning walks at 5 am and am able to agree with you 100%. There is a black and white stray dog in our street who waits regularly in the middle of the street for my husband and me to start our walk. He then races towards us at full speed, bringing my heart to my throat. He jumps around us, races ahead and then waits, races again and so on till our nerves are on edge[ esp. after reading all those horror stories in the papers about stray dogs mauling and killing children]. If I am not careful, he comes very close to me and gives my swinging hand a solid lick[ugh!] and races away again. Then, I have to scour our street for some kind-hearted soul who is fetching water [yes, that's a perennial problem here], who gives me a little of that precious liquid to wash my hand.
Regards
SubhaD

Dear Subha
I have narrated my daily experience with which every proud chennaite can relate! Looks like you have been spared by the birds as there is no mention abt them in your comment. Lucky you!
I invariably return home as the free toilet of the morning birds after a hectic dinner overnite!
Sri

The pleasures of an evening walk !

Dear Cheeniya,
We both (please understand!), shifted from morning walk to evening walk ( stroll?) abot 4 yrs back. Living very near Marina - but still we have to cross the hurdles of the deceased citizens' procession to Krishnampet along R K Salai, with all the accompanying fanfare of music, crackers and scattered flowers. Besides the traffic congestion around Chennai Citi Centre is "neck breaking" ! So we go for walk by car, choicelessly !!
As soon as we start walking, V's pace increases slowly & steadily. I, forever, look like chasing him with my slow pace ! But alas - I can never catch up with him in any sphere & have given up!!( pun intended, sir!). I admit, he has "won over me" !
The flower vendors with the beautifully scented jasmines, literally chase me from behind, knowing, I come to the beach, already " decked" with a jasmine string.
The popcorn smell with the butter flavour, is over powering, adding to the scent of freshly roasted peanuts.
No birds, no dogs, Sir !
But what is interesting is, walkers using their mobiles with "hands-off" & successfully carrying on business transactions, as they walk ! It is amusing to watch people, talking voiceferously, laughing loudly, ofcourse a few youngsters "coochi cooing" too - all thanks to mobile phones.
Some walk, vigorously swinging their hands to & fro, as pat of their exercise regime - one has to safeguard oneself, from being hit by a fast-swinging hand.
There used to be a lovers' path along the Marina.Now the path is not there (thanks to sunami) but lovers are all over. Need I tell you more ? You very often have the satisfaction of watching a romantic movie, as you walk. Where has all the "subtle touch" in romance of our days, gone? - I very offten wonder !!
The calmness of the sea & the vast expanse of the sky and space are on one side. The hectic traffic from town is on the other side.
I have learnt to strike a balance in life now.
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Chithra
What a sober presentation!
You have deftly converted the perils into pleasures! The irony is that I talk of perils at the most sublime time of the day but you talk of pleasures at the most chaotic hour of the day! You do have the ability to draw out the joy of living even at most trying times!
You must be happy o read that the City Center will soon be a goner!
Sri

Dear Cheeniya,

Dogs and birds, temple cars driven by Schumaker and losers such as Thymoor...I walked the walk with you and enjoyed it. ROTFL
All the same, I am glad that I don't walk the same path as you. Nevermind the troublesome dogs and careless birds, I would never know if a Cheenya is watching me and to what category he will allot me to...car, bus, cart mouse...No thankyou!

L, Kamla

Dear Cheeniya Sir

All your descriptions of the morning walk bring back memories of the morning walks my hubby and myself used to take along the Valmiki nagar/Thiruvanmiyur beach some 5 years back. That area has a lot of trees and ofcourse,with that comes birds and that makes me feel you stay somewhere there..Am I right?

And you walk along Chithra, painting the evening hue. Forever in awe of the lucky Mr V!
Now I know why you chose the path...lovers all along the way eh?! You naughty Anonymous

L, Kamla

Dear Kamla
Dont you worry! You are my friend and a regular reader of my posts!
I'll allot you under the Rainbows descending to the earth category!
Sri

Dear Sunitha
You are not much off the mark!
I live in Adyar, Sastri Nagar!
Everyone here knows what a great dog dodger I am!
Sri