Death, where is thy sting!

It was well past midnight when I finished some mailing work that had remained unattended for a long time. The whole house was asleep and the last noises of the tear jerker on the TV had just been swept away by the silence of the night. It was time for a last visit to the bath room and I was soon headed towards that direction.

Remembering the severe adverse criticism I had received more than once about the racket I create during my nocturnal visits to the bathroom, I opened the door gingerly and entered. Suddenly I felt something fall on my head and bounce off. Panicking I switched on the light and there, to my horror, found on the floor before me a fully grown lizard lying motionless with unseeing eyes.

The lizards, as you may have noticed, take an eternity before they decide on their next move. From spot A to spot B, they travel in less than 5 seconds moving at an incredible speed but they take almost 30 minutes to decide which way to move. The one that had just used my head as a landing pad was also handicapped by the fact that the floor of the bathroom was still wet on account of the unscrupulous use of water by the previous visitor. And when it comes to moving on wet surfaces, lizards can be as immobile as tunicates.

I had, therefore, no alternative but to stay rooted at my spot waiting for the slimy lizard to make its next move. I would not hazard a guess if the lizard had a similar plan of action running in its tiny head which made it even more immobile and it seemed like eternity as we stood there eyeing each other with amazing intensity. I had adopted the famous Lucknowy attitude of ‘Pahle aap’ and was determined not to come in the way of the route the lizard was planning to take. It was an intense war of wits which the lizard finally ended by moving away into a crevice behind the sink where generations of them lived. I heaved a sigh of relief and went ahead with my routine.

Next morning, I made a beeline to the bookshelf to pick up the almanac. As you may be aware, Hindu families use an almanac to keep track of festivals, auspicious days et al. They are fascinating books which give u a wealth of information ranging from eclipses during the ensuing year to a general forecast of the year to be. Among other things, there is a page devoted to lizards too.

I must tell you that the traditional Hindus always believe that lizards can forecast future events by signs and sounds! Thus the clicking noise that they make predicts a certain event in the family depending upon from which direction they make the noise. Similarly, a lizards falling on different parts of our body also portend certain events. These are listed in every almanac in vogue.

I rushed to the lizard’s page in the almanac to see what a lizard falling on head implied and what I saw sent a shudder through my frame. It portended death! My spirits sank and I put the almanac back in its place. I could not help feeling that this would be the last almanac I would lay my hands on as I would not be alive to see the next year’s.

I slowly made my way to the drawing room where my Leo Coffee was waiting along with the Hindu. I picked up the paper and ran my eyes through the obituary column to see how many of my own age group had kicked the bucket. There were quite a few there and one bearing even my name. I looked up the ceiling wondering how many of them would have had a lizard falling on their heads as a forewarning and there I saw a fat lizard eyeing me sorrowfully.

I felt a slight pain in my chest and I sweated in panic. I knew what it was but I had no heart to tell my family about it. There was no mention in the almanac about a timeframe within which the predicted incidents should happen but I knew it must be round the corner. I made a mental list of things I had to complete before kicking the proverbial bucket. And I set about my task meticulously. Nothing happened for two or three days but I knew that it was just a question of time. The agony of all this suspense was worse than death itself. I looked skywards and implored, ‘Death! Where is thy sting?’

Four days later I heard my daughter telling the servant to clean up and disinfect the bath room as there was a dead lizard that apparently got crushed in the bathroom door. I suddenly felt a wave of relief sweeping through me. The lizard had just foretold its own death by falling on my head. The death that the almanac had listed could be anyone’s and I had undergone all the mental torture believing that it would be mine. Or is it that the lizard took pity on me and sacrificed its own life in order to keep me alive? God knows!

Good again,Cheeniya! Liked the way you have spoken abt the din you create using the facilities. Is that common to all men? You indeed capture the simple of life and make it worth saying.

wow,what a great post...u have given a very nice story,feel pity for that poor lizard which lost itz life to save u

Hello Cheeniya,

Once again , you have come up with a nice story about you and the lizard.
I have something common here to share. A few years back when i was living in Chennai ( oh how i miss Mylapore!) , i also had a lizard experience. This was still bad, dont know for me or for the poor lizard!
It was as usual very late at night, i was on the telephone with my mom, or sis, and of course little did i know that it was the time for the nocturnal run of the lizard. I was obviously sitting in its way, so there it came with that speed that u are saying and ran right into my saree and up .....and of course, the next minute i was screaming and goind hysterical....and of course at the same speed it had moved out, but that creepy feeling made me shout and jump and throw the phone and at the other end they were panicking...and of course my daughter joined in the screaming without knowing what it was....and my husband was the only sane person , who just saw all this said..."Poor Lizard, look at it running for its life". Wow what a night it was, i was shivering throughout....and the story did not stop there. My mom's inputs were brought in and i was told by some wayside astrologer that i had "lizard dosham" and i visited Kancheepuram and touched the Lizard statue( i dont know what it is called!) ....etc etc.....and only after that my fear of lizards left me.....

So one more story to add to the lizard's pughazh!

Its a great write up of such a simple incident (or maybe not...if the poor lizard had not lost its life!)

-Sihi

Dear Cheeniya sir
That made enjoyable reading. Once again , you've crafted a wonderful showpiece out of the mundane events that happen in all houses, but hardly get noticed.
oh, the terrors of superstition !
Had a good laugh, sir.
Regards
Manjula

And Sudha
your Kosuru "palli-puranam" was a ..................scream !


Manjula

hello


palli sollukku palan
palli vizhum palan
paavam palli
palliyay paarthale alarum silar...
pallithaan thalaimel vizhundu
palli vizhu...palan sonnado..maranam enru?
pallikku maranam..
palli maru janmam edukkakkoodum...
ungal azhagaana palli palanai
potri padikka...

sathya

Dear Sri,
I am going "backwards" in your forum, not wanting to miss out, being submerged in the ocean of humour.
I have now come to the conclusion, you have some "purva janma bandham" with the lizard, just as I have for cockroach !
You could atleast wait for Mr L ( or Ms?) to make the first move, before deciding on your course of action.
Lo, for me, the cockroach just starts flying & scares you, making one scamper all around the bathroom ( as if we live in mansions!).
My patti has told me that lot of cockroaches equates to lot of wealth. Who would like to miss an opportunity of becoming rich on account of the no: of cockroaches increasing ? Even if V insists on pest control, I don't like to miss an easy route to acquiring wealth & say a firm "no way".
So just like you have a way of living with lizrds, I have learnt to live with cockroaches! May their tribe increase & make me a "millionairess" !
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Chithra
Even I have heard of cockroaches being hailed as wealth increasers! I think that our ancestors foreseeing the inevitability of their progenies having to coexist with lizards and cocroaches must have spun this yarn to promote goodwill between them, I mean the lizards and cokroaches on one side, and the humans on the other!
But some people remain unmoved by all these crap about the promotion of prosperity by the cockroaches. My wife is an example! You should see her running after them at lightening speed armed with a broomstick.
The irony is that a lizard cannot let a cockroach survive. Either it does not believe that they are partners in progress or it must be highly egoistic and would not want a lowly cockroach to share the honour!
Sri

Cheeniya sir,

But then, amazing how different cultures consider different animals as harbringers of good luck and cheer! In my good ole Mumbai, Maharashtrians love the green-gold toad. My MiL will shower the hapless toad with haldi,kumkum, and welcome her (him??) as Mahalakshmi. A few years back, I had a bat that accidentally flew into my house. Being as blind as a bat, it could not even fly out. We were worried that it would start flying around at dark.But the aayi nextdoor informed us that it was again a messenger of Mahalakshmi. Batty, aint it? How Mahalakshmi keeps sending her messengers from animal kingdom while She never comes Herself! In Turkey, it was the lucky cat with eyes of two different colours. After seeing all these species, stroking them, offering them milk, I still remain poor ole Vidya-the operational word her being ----

ciao
Vidya