Counting our curses!

Kindly skip the following story if you have already heard it before and proceed to the next part that follows it. This is about a much harried sales executive of a reputed firm. He was married and had two school going children. His whole day in office consisted of visiting a series of demanding customers and convincing them of the merits of acquiring his company’s meritless products. He spent hours in this tiresome job and even a regular reading of Chitvish’s Gita posts did not stop him from getting into frequent bouts of depression. His depressions always intensified into a deep depression, as the weather pundits invariably forecast, when he reached home after a tiring day and observed his wife looking radiant and watching TV curled up in the comfortable sofa. This, he always muttered to himself, was the unkindest cut of all. He decided to appeal to God about this.

You all know how playful God is. In case you don’t, ask for a DVD of the film ‘Thiruvilayadal’ (Games that God plays) and you’ll understand what I mean. So He promptly appeared in our harried hero’s dream that night and asked him what his problem was. Our guy replied respectfully that it was unfair that the man had to bear the big burden of finding the means to run the family by sweating out blood while the lady of the house was having a merry time at home burning up the money thus earned. God smilingly asked the guy if it was too big a price to pay for the prestigious tag of ‘Head of the family’ attached to the man. The disgusted guy replied that he wouldn’t mind being the tail of the family if the roles could be reversed just for 24 hours. God said ‘So be it’ and disappeared.

The guy woke up next morning and was surprised to find himself in his wife’s nightie. A visit to the bathroom surprised him further when he stared at the mirror and found that even his physical appearance had turned to be that of his wife. Then he remembered the dream and his deal with God. He entered the kitchen with a song and started preparing the morning coffee while his wife, being unaware of her husband’s deal with God, really imagined herself to be the husband and started getting ready for office. By the time our guy made the breakfast and got the children ready for school, he had already started wondering if that deal was worth it. He expected things to ease once the kids went to school and his wife left for the office but within an hour realised that he was better off in his office. By the evening, he was a wreck with all the monotony of household chore. The children too were unusually boisterous that evening adding further to his dismay. By the nightfall, he had had enough of it and was itching to get back to his original role at the end of the 24 hour period.

That night God visited him again in his dream with a broad grin. Our guy thanked Him profusely for the Role change for 24 hours and expressed his desire to get back to his position at the earliest convenience of God. The Almighty’s grin now reached enormous proportion and threatened to split His face into two halves. “My son”, He said, “I can not change your role for the next 10 months. You have just become pregnant” Having made this disastrous announcement, the Lord disappeared from the guy’s dream.

This is what happens when we forget to count our blessings. It is alright if we forget to count our blessings but when we proceed to count others’ blessings, we must reckon their curses too. If we count only the blessings of another without pausing to consider the negative side of their life, we would only end up in the position of that guy! If we are the kind of people who count only their own curses, then it is even more essential to consider other people’s curses. The normal human tendency is to think nothing of one’s own blessings but keep whining over his misfortunes most of which are usually blown out of proportion. When a happy face is encountered, his whining increases. The happier is the encountered face, the greater will be his whining.

I am aware that, in this highly stressful world, counting of curses comes naturally to every one. It reaches a crescendo when we imagine that every one else around us is extremely happy with countless blessings. It is only when we acquire the skill to break the façade of others and see through their problems that we can learn to count our blessings. Let the partners in life, therefore, learn to be empathetic towards each other. No job is bad until it is compared with others’!

 

My dear Mol
It is human tendency to consider that our problems are a lot more intense than those of others. I have seen husbands making a big racket upon catching ordinary cold. They expect their wives to minister to them round the clock until the cold disappears. The whole house will be heavy with the scent of eucalyptus and such other remedies. But if their wives suffer the same and even sneeze a couple of times, they get irritated and pass some caustic remarks about the noise they make while sneezing! They may even compare it with such noise-producing agents like a jet plane or Wolf drilling machines!

We always tend to magnify others' small good fortunes while simultaneously playing down their miseries. This tendency causes in us a permanent antipathy towards our fellow mortals. We always labour under an illusion that God has specially chosen us to deliver His special punches. We become totally blind to our blessings while developing more than a keen vision to our curses!

That parable which Paramahamsa often quoted about a man lamenting lack of foot wear should learn to derive consolation from a man without feet is my all time favourite. It is sound wisdom indeed!
Sri

 

Dear Santosh
It is indeed a double honour that you have visited two of my threads today and offered your FBs. You have indeed summed up beautifully the essence of human happiness. The adage that grass is greener has underlined human bahaviour right through the ages. We have all become adept in counting our curses and others' blessings.
We choose to be unhappy no matter what we have if the man across the street also has it!
Sri

 

Dear Lalitha
I always think that you and a feeling of depression are clear antonyms. You surprise me by saying that you were feeling depressed. I am happy if I was able to lift your spirits.

I honestly feel that in the matter of forging empathy between the life partners, the initiative should come from the male of the specis. He is the one that keeps feeling beleagured and is always under an illusion that his wife is having a whale of a time at home. If she is a working woman, he would think very little of her official position and the consequent demands made on her professionally as compared to his own. Probably even Indra Nooyi's husband might wonder what is the big deal about peddling soft drinks! And if the man can not digest the importance that his wife gets in her profession, he gets very jealous and depressed as we saw in the immortal film, Abhiman, starring Amitab and Jaya.

So give my friend the bell and show him the cat. In all fairness, he should do the job!
Sri

 

Dear Chithra
I was a bit apprehensive about the possibility of my thread getting censored by the world's strictest moderator alive! Thank Heavens, I have been spared. And it makes me even happier that you enjoyed it!
Who says your Gita posts are dull and prosaic? If I had known that Vedantha could be this interesting as I see from your posts, I would have plunged into it decades back. I merely mentioned that despite a thorough reading of your Gita posts, his outlook in life remained much the same. Maybe you should pitch your Gita dozes a bit stronger!
I did skip that story of yours. How do you expect someone like me not to have heard it before?
Sri