How I caused Chennai Super Kings' defeat

As the critical hour drew near, I was getting real tense. I knew that I had to go through this critical phase of my life with as much equanimity as I could muster. I did not have a choice anyway. A thought that I should entirely leave it in the hands of God occurred to me and it seemed to make a lot of sense to me. So I entered the bathroom and had a purifying bath while muttering some mantras known to me. I wore a new dhoti, smeared my forehead with Holy Ash (Though it is difficult to say where my forehead ended and head started in the absence of any demarcation) and sat in front of the hundred deities that adorned the wall of my Pooja room. For the next half an hour or so, I appealed passionately to every God I knew for help. A sudden whiff of air blew out the Pooja lamp precisely at that moment much to my dismay. A shudder passed through my ample frame at the sight of this acknowledged bad omen. I relit the lamp and sat in prayer for another half an hour. Feeling satisfied that the God would be on my side, I came into the drawing room.

I was surprised to see my nonagenarian mother, my daughter and grand children were all there with anxiety written all over there faces. My daughter appeared to have skipped her dinner and was feeding on her finger nails instead as was her custom whenever she felt tense. I sat down with them as my eyes strayed to the massive TV. I saw some scantily dressed actresses gyrating violently to some blaring music in the name of dance and their hysteric followers were screaming at an unimaginable decibel rate. At the end of this agonizing entertainment, the captains of the competing teams walked in accompanied by a few important officials. The rival captained called the toss right and put our team to bat first. I looked at my daughter for her reaction but found her examining her nails to see if she had left any of them unattended. I remembered the good time we had the previous day as our team thrashed the opponents to enter the finals. I recollected the position in which I had parked myself on the sofa then and sat exactly in the same position now.

I was irked by the assessment of the TV anchor that our opponents had a better chance of pulling it through. Whenever I faced with the prospect of fighting an opponent who was more than my match, it was my custom to summon Lord Hanuman who was famous for performing super human tasks as if they were kid’s play. I did so on this occasion too. The light getting blown away in the Pooja room was making me a bit uncomfortable and I started chanting all known Hanuman slokas furiously.

Chennai Super Kings started well but the sudden fall of the first wicket took me off-guard. My daughter pointed out to me that I had the TV sound muted yesterday but I forgot to mute it today. So I had to take the blame for the fall of Vidyut’s wicket and hastily muted my TV. Things went well after the fall of the first wicket but not for too long. When the second wicket fell, I noticed that we were watching the Sony Max channel via TataSky while the previous day, we watched it via the cable TV. I cursed myself for causing the second wicket to fall and immediately switched over to cable TV. When the team was out for 163 runs eventually, I had to face flak for all the wickets fallen!

When the Rajasthan Royals started their innings, my daughter reminded me that we had the sound on when the other side was playing the previous day. Accordingly I switched on the sound resulting in three quick wickets falling. I returned my daughter’s triumphant look with a loving smile and we carried on this way until a couple of catches were dropped by the Chennai Super Kings. Then I realised to my horror that I was sitting cross-legged while uttering the Hanuman slokas. I immediately uncrossed them and sat in a prayerful position. The Pooja lamp blowing off suddenly during my prayers kept haunting me and I blamed myself for leaving the Pooja room windows ajar that brought in the lethal whiff of air.

By this time, things were getting hotter and hotter and as the penultimate over was being bowled, my daughter reminded me that I had adjourned to the toilet just before the start of the last over on the previous day but I was too engrossed in the match to comply with this suggestion now. What happened in the last over and how the Rajasthan Royals made us look silly in the end is all history now. But that fateful decision of mine to adjourn my visit to the toilet prior to the start of the last over had cost us the match and I know it will be a while before normal relations get restored between my daughter and me. Even this morning, as she was leaving for the office, she told me in a hostile voice that had I complied with her suggestion, we could have at least tied the match by not bowling a wide in the last over.

I feel guilty for having caused this woeful defeat to Chennai Super Kings by my indiscretion. If only I had been a bit more careful, we would have been crowned the Champs. Will Shankar, the owner of Chennai outfit and MS Dhoni, the Captain forgive me for stabbing them at their back?!

 

Dear AGR
If I had known that there was such a practise in your office, I would have requested Lalith Modi to shift the Finals to Monday. What to do! Vidhi valiyathu!
Sri

 

Dear Aruna
Even the most rationalistic people become superstitious in Sports! I'll do anything to ensure victory for my Team next time, even if it means spending 45 days in the rest room!
You are right. Kamalji must be congratulated but Kamal was more interested in the Cheer girls than in Rajasthan Royals. That's why, the guys kept winning!
Sri

 

Dear Jaishree
As they say, my loss is your gain! Only in my previous thread I had mentioned the problems faced by God. I am sure Hanuman Himself would have been tense yesterday in deciding whom to favour! Obviously, more Bakthas prayed in Rajasthan than in Tamilnadu. If so, we deserved to lose!
In any case, this is such a relief for you from all the Gujjar riots!
Sri

 

Dear Chithra
I thank you sincerely for getting the World Cup to Kapil's Devils in the Lords. Some people have to run around but some like Kamraj Nadar can win lying down! Obviously you belong to this elite category.
In my house, I was never allowed to witness world cup matches that were played in South Africa. I had to follow the scores only from Cricket sites in the WorldWideWeb! I could ensure India's victory this way upto the finals but I could not resist watching the Finals on TV. By the time I was driven back to my Computer, enough damage had been done by Ponting and Company. I regret that indiscretion of mine till date! Some sorrows never fade!
Sri