Are you happy, Graham Bell?

Hello! Can I speak to TVS? Speaking? You mean you are TVS? Hey, TVS! Long time no see! Shall I tell you something? Your voice and your brain are two things that never seem to grow. Your voice is exactly the same as it was decades back and I am sure you are as dumb as ever. Can you guess who is at this end? What do you mean how the hell you can? You don’t have to be so rude to an old buddy da. Come on, stay cool. Ok ok. I’ll give you a clue. Remember the QB at the Kings in Bangalore? What do you mean what the hell is QB? Can’t you talk two sentences without using the word, ‘Hell’? If you can forget QB, I am not surprised you have forgotten me. I’ll give you one more clue. Do you at least remember Jayaraman changing his dress into something brand new at the foyer of Galaxy Theatre to impress his girl friend? You don’t know what I am talking about?

I say this is pretty serious, my buddy. This could be the beginning of Alzheimer’s. Better check up, Cheenu. Alright, since you have symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, I will not test your patience any more and damage the few healthy brain cells you may be having. I am His Highness Kupps da. Gawd! At last, you remember! You know you gave the title of His Highness because I was eternally suffering from Sinus problem those days. You started calling me Sinus Kupps and it gradually became His Highness Kupps! What do you mean you could not recognize my voice? What? I sound like one of the crocodiles from Whittakar’s Crocodile Farm?! Alright! If that is your idea of squaring up my diagnosis of your Alzheimer’s, I’ll leave it at that.

Why did you vanish suddenly from the Bank? You object to the word vanish? Cool down yaar! Why are you so petulant at 8 in the morning? I did not imply that you committed a great Bank robbery and vanished. We all know that you are not capable of it. I just meant your sudden voluntary retirement da. What have you been doing with yourself since then? Any additions to the family? What do you mean you are too old for it? I asked you about your grand children dammit. One grandson and two grand daughters? That’s very nice.

You are now doing consultancy? What consultancy? I never knew that people came to you for advices! Are you giving consultancy services to young men in love as Ashok Kumar did in Chotisi Baath? How come I remember that movie now? Have you forgotten that we all saw it together in Alankar after a QB? If that is what you give advices on, you must be having roaring business! Do you know the story of the castrated cat that became a consultant after castration? You don’t want to know? It’s ok with me. The loss is all yours, not mine!

How is life treating me? Frankly I have no complaints Cheenu. Last year, I saw a couple of pretty nurses in Apollo and decided to undergo bypass so that I could spend a couple of weeks with them! You are right da. I have not changed a wee bit. But don’t call it small talk. You used to follow me like a lamb to hear my jokes those days! My wife? In fact I now have three wives in her. I mean that she is so fat! My sons are fine da. Both are in US and I keep visiting them every year.

How are the old girls Cheenu? You still keep in touch with them? What do you mean most of them resemble KB Sundarambal now? I just cant believe it! They were all so pretty! You meet them occasionally at the Pradosham at Kapali Temple? Gawd! From QB at King’s to Pradosham at Kapali Temple you have come a long way machan! I am really shocked da. Feel sad too. Can forty years wreak such a havoc in a man? No, no.I didn’t mean your temple visits as havoc da but I cant reconcile myself to this new attitude of yours. Doesn’t suit you kanna. You were always the life and soul of our parties da and honestly come back da. We all need you! Guess I have taken a lot of your time this morning. If I come to Chennai, we must meet da. Oh, I haven’t told you where I am now. I am at Delhi, my boy! Bye then. Keep in touch da! For Heaven’s sake!

A Reliance ad that is doing the rounds in TV channels traces the history of Telephony in India. It tells us how people booked a call and waited for hours to get connected. In one scene, a chappie is holding a girl, like Rajkapoor holding Nargis in Awara which eventually became the insignia of RK Films, and dropping her a like a ton of hot bricks to rush to attend to a trunk call! The ad winds up with the offer of unlimited STD calls for some Rs 400 per month! With that kind of technological advancement, don’t be surprised if you start getting calls like the one that I had narrated just now every day!

Are you happy, Graham Bell?

Dear Cheeniya
Had a hearty laugh at the conversation in the beginning was thinking it is you and one of your friend having a good conversation on the phone............hahaha later realised it is the ad. of the Reliance
I think Rs. 400 per month with unlimited STD calls sound damn cheap for the people who love to gossip.........hahahaha
Great writting........

hello sri

ofcourse he is not happy...
he cannot have had this kind of fun
talking of sundarambals and not about....
he must be turning in his grave
see what fun people are having
all because of him...!!

kaadalum kavithayum
kannaditha naatkalum
naraithu pona thalaigalum
naraikkatha ninaivugalum
kuyil ponra paattugalum
kshana nera sms galum
inru pol anru thaan
reliance ooo
bsnl oo
ethuvume illaye...!!
thats one great write up i liked...

sathya

Originally Posted by Arunarc

Dear Cheeniya
Had a hearty laugh at the conversation in the beginning was thinking it is you and one of your friend having a good conversation on the phone............hahaha later realised it is the ad. of the Reliance
I think Rs. 400 per month with unlimited STD calls sound damn cheap for the people who love to gossip.........hahahaha
Great writting........

Dear Aruna
I remember the black telephone with a metal dialler of my school days. I wonder if you have seen that contraption. Those days, a phone at home was a big luxury which only a few could afford. The economy phones called non-OYT category had such a big waiting list that one had to wait for years for a telephone connection. Phones were used only for communicating very important messages.
We have come a long way since then. Nowadays, people find phoning a good time-pass. Phones are kept engaged throughout the day. It is hard to see anyone on the roads without a mobile glued to their ears! Times indeed have changed!
Sri

Originally Posted by sathya

hello sri

ofcourse he is not happy...
he cannot have had this kind of fun
talking of sundarambals and not about....
he must be turning in his grave
see what fun people are having
all because of him...!!

kaadalum kavithayum
kannaditha naatkalum
naraithu pona thalaigalum
naraikkatha ninaivugalum
kuyil ponra paattugalum
kshana nera sms galum
inru pol anru thaan
reliance ooo
bsnl oo
ethuvume illaye...!!
thats one great write up i liked...

sathya

Dear Sathya
Neengal kavithai ezhada mudiyatha
Subject endru eduvume illai!
Neengal solvathu romba sari
Kal thondri mann thondra
Kalathilirundhu indru varai
Kaadalum kavithayum
Thuliyum maaravillai!
SMS illamal naangal
Kaadalikkavillaya allathu
Kavithai ezhudavillaya?
Sri

What you say is true Cheeniya I too have seen them in my school days and the way now a days people use today. I sometimes wonder what they have so much to speak about. Even we use to speak a lot when we were kids but all in person now even a small message has to be told and it will not be important too there goes the mobile buttons tick tick tick.
Yes time has really changed more them our mobile bills I have seen the kids mobile bills are big.

Originally Posted by cheeniya

Dear Aruna
I remember the black telephone with a metal dialler of my school days. I wonder if you have seen that contraption. Those days, a phone at home was a big luxury which only a few could afford. The economy phones called non-OYT category had such a big waiting list that one had to wait for years for a telephone connection. Phones were used only for communicating very important messages.
We have come a long way since then. Nowadays, people find phoning a good time-pass. Phones are kept engaged throughout the day. It is hard to see anyone on the roads without a mobile glued to their ears! Times indeed have changed!
Sri

Originally Posted by Arunarc

What you say is true Cheeniya I too have seen them in my school days and the way now a days people use today. I sometimes wonder what they have so much to speak about. Even we use to speak a lot when we were kids but all in person now even a small message has to be told and it will not be important too there goes the mobile buttons tick tick tick.
Yes time has really changed more them our mobile bills I have seen the kids mobile bills are big.

Yes Aruna! You dont need a subject today. You need only a phone to talk!
Parents consider their kids having expensive mobile phones as a status symbol! God knows where we are heading!
Sri

Dear Sri,
What kind of a wizard are you, I wonder!!
Yes, you are right, my collegemate ( a “he”) rang up just now. His wife is an ILite & a “regular feedbacker” in my cookery column. She sent a PM, saying that she was planning a visit to Chennai & wanted my mobile no: - ofcourse Reliance! She smartly did not reveal her identity that her DH was my collegemate & he wanted to say a Hi to me – no, no, no, don’t make a wild guess. He was not my heart-throb of my college days; that was a different person.
Hi, Chith, guess who!

Well, I can’t, I just can’t! You think you are AB for me to recognise your voice? No way, please reveal your name first.

Oh, you continue to be still a “fire-brand” ? ! I am Muthusamy, your B Sc classmate in AC!

Oh, YOU!! If you had mentioned PearlGod, I would have got a clue because , which lady student ever called you by your real name?

Well, Chith, when Leela mentioned your name in IL, you are from Madurai etc…, it did ring a bell in my mind. Now that she has gone to the beauty parlour, I thought, having got your mobile no: from her (as though) casually, I will have a chat with you!

Oh, PG, you have not changed one bit ! Still you love chatting with women for endless hours? Well, I have no hassels – Vish is taking his “nap” & I am free! Have you married the same Leela, the Lady Doaker, you were going steady with?

As if, I ever wanted to really marry her !! This is a different girl from a different city – arranged by my parents. Anyway, life though not as exciting as I would have wanted it to be, is still not too bad. Do you remember our college days, how we all had such great fun?

Ofcourse, now that I am in IL, happy days are here for me again. I forget my age, once I log in & there is no stopping me, PG!

Now, Chith, I know your mobile no:, we can keep in touch almost on a daily basis. After all the money is small and our friendship is worth much more. Just to be on the safe side, as soon as Leela steps out I will call you, OK?

Phew! Bayandanguli, you continue to be, PG ! If you have guts, call me with her by your side. I would love to talk to her also!!

Grrrrrrrrr – the mobile got disconnected! Well, your guess is as good as mine!!!

Love,
Chithra.

Hello Hello Sri?? Yes its me AC ..Why dont you speak up a little. You know in my old age I cant hear with my left ear! .. so whats up?? Cannot believe you are so talented yaar? What why did you say just time pass?? come on you old.. noo young man..why not accept your talents..So you think you can attract more feedback? You were always like this you know.. Even from the QB at Kings.. What dont talk about it just now? Why do you say that? Oh You're image .. gotcha.. o.ko.k. Whats that I heard about consultancy for the Oats company? Did you just say you got into it because of a talented cook? Hey nice business to be in yaar..Why didnt you say sooner the stocks went up? Looks like you're not going to change much my friend! What you're going to cook Oats Payasam and Kollu uppama for me when I come? Why you dont want me to come visit you? Sri can you speak louder.. my good ear is straining to hear all this long distance talk! o.k.o.k. Dont get all petrified. I will manage to eat the kollu uppama when I come.. You have come a long way from QB to Oats and Kollu.. What why do you threaten you will hang up? Oh you only like the sweet comments from the pretty women.. What why are youc alling me K.B.Sundrambal? O.k. I will try and leave a nice feedback using my pseudoname o.k.Bye for now!

Originally Posted by Chitvish

Dear Sri,
What kind of a wizard are you, I wonder!!
Yes, you are right, my collegemate ( a “he”) rang up just now. His wife is an ILite & a “regular feedbacker” in my cookery column. She sent a PM, saying that she was planning a visit to Chennai & wanted my mobile no: - ofcourse Reliance! She smartly did not reveal her identity that her DH was my collegemate & he wanted to say a Hi to me – no, no, no, don’t make a wild guess. He was not my heart-throb of my college days; that was a different person.
Hi, Chith, guess who!

Well, I can’t, I just can’t! You think you are AB for me to recognise your voice? No way, please reveal your name first.

Oh, you continue to be still a “fire-brand” ? ! I am Muthusamy, your B Sc classmate in AC!

Oh, YOU!! If you had mentioned PearlGod, I would have got a clue because , which lady student ever called you by your real name?

Well, Chith, when Leela mentioned your name in IL, you are from Madurai etc…, it did ring a bell in my mind. Now that she has gone to the beauty parlour, I thought, having got your mobile no: from her (as though) casually, I will have a chat with you!

Oh, PG, you have not changed one bit ! Still you love chatting with women for endless hours? Well, I have no hassels – Vish is taking his “nap” & I am free! Have you married the same Leela, the Lady Doaker, you were going steady with?

As if, I ever wanted to really marry her !! This is a different girl from a different city – arranged by my parents. Anyway, life though not as exciting as I would have wanted it to be, is still not too bad. Do you remember our college days, how we all had such great fun?

Ofcourse, now that I am in IL, happy days are here for me again. I forget my age, once I log in & there is no stopping me, PG!

Now, Chith, I know your mobile no:, we can keep in touch almost on a daily basis. After all the money is small and our friendship is worth much more. Just to be on the safe side, as soon as Leela steps out I will call you, OK?

Phew! Bayandanguli, you continue to be, PG ! If you have guts, call me with her by your side. I would love to talk to her also!!

Grrrrrrrrr – the mobile got disconnected! Well, your guess is as good as mine!!!

Love,
Chithra.

Dear Chithra
Unlike you, I do not have any old friends of the opposite sex who would bother me on phone like this! What a relief! Even if there is one and she rings me, I'll discourage her by telling her 'Whiz you hold on? Zhet me get my denshures' Which woman would waste her money on a phone call to talk to a man with dentures?

But then, I do admit that PG appears to be a decent man and damn lucky too! Probably he would not have known that if he had continued to talk for a while, you would have started discussing your recipes with him! Really a lucky bloke!
Sri