The history of 'bride seeing' ceremony!

Dear Sri,
I presume this is
Imagination at its peak!
Right??
Love,
Chithra.

Originally Posted by corallux

Right my turn now!

My family was "Requested" to get me to Bangalore to see my would be hubby. Mom was horrified as normally boys came to girl's home. Times are changing she mused philosophically.

Poor me! I was in a state of utter confusion. All the Hindi/Marathi movies I had seen showed the girl demurly getting plates of tea/Onion Poha from the kitchen.

The ceremony went well & we agreed. He was the first guy I saw.

But Cheeniyaji, unlike you, my in law's family did not treat us any delicacies like SB. We got bakery fare : Chips, Vege Patties & Butter biscuits. All washed down with Badam Milk. (I still tease hubby about it). No Hubby did not get the trays of food/drinks from the kitchen, his sister did. He did not say a word to me.

But one thing, to while away the time, I stared at the lizard on the wall. It was chuck chucking away. It was the sign of times to come I guess.

Oh but before you say something Cheeniyaji, let me assure you my Hubby is no doubt named after Lord Shiva. He is no Dakshinmurthy. I in fact have become a permanent observer of Maun vrat after marriage.

Regards,

Corallux

Dear Corralux
Lizard watching at the bride seeing ceremony is brand new to me and I'll develop on it in one of my future rambling! With your permission, of course! Coming to think of it, How many lizards would have witnessed a bride seeing ceremony! I am sure that they would have exchanged meaningful glances with each other and shared a few jokes about the boy and the girl!
I have always wondered what would be served in a bride seeing ceremony north of the Vindhyas and now I know! Thanks for the enlightenment. But honestly chips, patties and biscuits are hardly the stuff that can be dragged into an unseemly controversy like S and B!
We always ask the question on who is bigger-Shakthi or Shiva and you have provided the answer by your example!
Sri

Cheeniya Sir,
Nice to read the 'history ' of bride-seeing ceremony and sorry to hear that still we couldn't trace the 'history' for soji and bhaji...my clue here is maybe it is the easiest ones to prepare...
From the Ithikasams to the modern world, we can see the importance of 'bride or bridegroom seeing ceremony' before marriage...

Your 'bride-seeing' ceremony ... what more can I comment.. you fell for water..hahaha..... mine is as usual with soji and bhajji....no change from the traditional ones...

sriniketan

Dear Bhargavi,
I am sorry, I disagree with

my clue here is maybe it is the easiest ones to prepare...

Never! Very often, sojjis made by some, choke the throat, ghee being poured miserly or rava not cooked.
Bajjis are flat or dripping with oil. Let me tell you - bajji should look nicely puffed up like a pregnant woman ! In some, the vegetable peeps out, not being coated completely.
I think, these two sweet-karam have been chosen to reveal to the boy's people, a clue about the efficiency of the girl's mother. All said & done, the girl will take after her mother, is the general opinion!
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Cheeniya Sir,
in this hot hot weather, your thread is a cool solace indeed. I was finding it hard not to laugh (hubby might mistake my laughing alone in front of the monitor the result of the hot weather). Our South Indian culture is abundunt in such varied customs and traditions.
Well, my hubby and family was deprived of the pleasure (pain?) of eating S and B as he saw me in a realtive's house in Madurai ( he is from Chennai and I am fromTrivandrum and it was decided that we meet in between somewhere). Thank Go, in laws did not insist that all the customs be followed. And I was in a haze, not because of the 'seeing', but because my father was in the ICU of the Medical Colelge Hospital with a massive heart attack. It would have been in auspicious to mention this at the venue, so I dodged the questions about why my parents had not accompanied me (chithappa had come along). After the 'Yes' from their side only I disclosed father's condition. Then they all became very sympathetic and rest is history (tragedy).
This is a boon in disguise, hubby cannot blame that he could not talk because of the sojji glueing his mouth!

Dear Sir,

enjoyed your bride seeing ceremony...i thought it was quite romantic that your wife sang that particular song.......what with that ,the S AND B ,and finally the drenching ceremony u had to say yes yes yes...could almost picture the scene...i agree with u the perfect S and B is not at all easy to make...my mom had made it in my case...and my husband tells me this later...after having eaten the first plate..it seems he was just being polite in refusing to have more wanting me to force him with another plate.......but even now I am like that ....can never force anyone with anything...i assume that they will be free enough with me to eat whatever is served at the table....Poor hubby,first time itself dissapointment.......but he must have seen something in me for he agreed to the proposal inspite of that....

mindi

Dear cheeniya sir
a hilarious one!! Your bride seeing was ....Oh god!!.....sema thrilling! having experienced with your uncle's bride seeing padalam you must have specialised in the taste of S and B. like a chef!? Thank god you ended your bride seeing with one otherwise i am sure you would have gone in to the(ir) kitchen and tried S and B yourself to exhibit your expertise...and girl's family people would have been more happy that their SIL was good in Nala bagam...

I have heard people saying during this padalam some MsIL would ask the girl to walk carryng a pot with water to examine whether the girl was physically challenged or so...then they would check the hair whether it was original or a wig.. then even the custom of singing was to check the girl was dump or deaf...serving of S and B and coffee would imply that whether the family was economical or spendthrift...thayai pol sei.

however gone are those interesting, thrilling days of bride seeing and S and B. now a days most of the yongsters choose their partners and then intimate the parents or they meet the proposed boy or girl in coffee shops and end up there and then intimate their parents whether they want to proceed further or not. One of the students of my husband has chosen the style of living together. he said if it went off well he would live with the girl or they would part off and search another...as he doesnot believe in the concept of marriage and family. i heard my husband saying that he is living with the same girl but about to depart. the age old history of bride seeing as you have mentioned has undergone a dramatic change...illiya...kalam mari pochu....if i tell this to my mamiyar or patti they will definitely end up saying "kali muthi pochu"

regards
geeth

Dear chithra mam

you are right mam the custom of bride seeing ceremony was to get an idea about both the families, their back ground whether they were economical or spend-thrift..etc etc...

Tell me, how many ladies make real crip, but non-oily bajjis ! Bajji making, sounding seemingly simple is far from easy.I can write so much about S & B - knowing your nature (loving to eat, but not discussing recipes or giving links!) I will not do so.

yes mam you are right..bajji making is not an easy task!...and i enjoyed this line of reply to chenniya sir a lot.

your replies and his replies to your post....Oh...thaanga mudila...sirichu sirichu...really cool...

love
geeth

Dear Sri sir,

After singing 'Unnai Saran Adainthen', all of them were grinning at each other and I did not realise the meaning of it then. Only later on I realised that this belonged to the category of 'flattering to deceive!' After the marriage, it is me who is singing that song daily!

idha dhan naan edhirpathein.

You talk of 18th Century but do you know that 18th Century produced some of the greatest men in politics, art and literature like Peter the Great, Frederick the Great, Samuel Johnson, George Washington etc etc (Courtesy Wikepedia)? So we'll call him Sivaguru, the Great!

This FB I have to show him, he will put like a placard and start telling everybody. ennai nanna kala varinell neega. Unga friendkke ippadi senchalen eppadi..........paavum naan. Indha amblaigale ippadi dhan.

Nice to know that you have a potential weapon to put your DH in his place if he gets tough. I mean your singing

But Sri, you forgot in my reply itself I have mentioned now he does not close his mouth, hence I have this (singing) up my sleeve so that I do not hear to his blabberings. Otherwise I will go . Iddu eppadi irrukku.

Originally Posted by Sriniketan

Cheeniya Sir,
Nice to read the 'history ' of bride-seeing ceremony and sorry to hear that still we couldn't trace the 'history' for soji and bhaji...my clue here is maybe it is the easiest ones to prepare...
From the Ithikasams to the modern world, we can see the importance of 'bride or bridegroom seeing ceremony' before marriage...

Your 'bride-seeing' ceremony ... what more can I comment.. you fell for water..hahaha..... mine is as usual with soji and bhajji....no change from the traditional ones...

sriniketan

Dear Sri
The Making of S and B! Sounds like one of those Hollywood curtain raisers!
I cant say that the S and B became popular as Bride-seeing ceremony menu because they are easy to make. S may be easy but B is a bit tricky and is capable of leading you down the disaster lane!
Nice to hear that yours was also a traditional one. Did you also sing, 'Yaaro ivar yaaro'?
Sri